


Peccatrix

by BrevityIsTheSoulOfLingerie



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Religious, Catholic Guilt, F/F, Light Angst, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Religious Conflict, Religious Guilt, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-10-04 06:23:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17299421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrevityIsTheSoulOfLingerie/pseuds/BrevityIsTheSoulOfLingerie
Summary: Loosely based on the song "Only the Good Die Young," by Billy JoelYou got a nice white dress and a party on your confirmationYou got a brand new soulAnd a cross of goldBut Virginia they didn't give you quite enough informationYou didn't count on meWhen you were counting on your rosary





	1. Sister Chloe

"In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit," Chloe Beale said softly as she crossed herself in front of the altar, bowing slightly at the waist.

 

She made her way down the aisle towards the doors at the back of the church, breaking her stride only to dip the tips of the fingers of her right hand into the stoup, blessing herself again with the holy water.

 

The start of Tuesday evening mass was delayed -- Father Lewyn was leading pre-Cana for a number of couples on Tuesdays -- and had run longer than usual. Now, she was late for dinner at her parents', and of course her car decided it wouldn't start.  She threw her head back against the headrest and puffed out her cheeks in a frustrated exhale before reaching for her bag and digging through it for her phone.

 

She’d simply call her parents and tell them about her car trouble.  They would give their speech (yet again) about Chloe needing to invest in a new, more reliable car and then her dad would offer to come pick her up.  She wasn’t sure why they couldn’t just skip over the lecture and offer her a ride. Then again, she wasn’t sure why she didn’t just call her best friend, Stacie, for a ride instead and save herself from the parental hassle.  Of course, Stacie was probably on a date, and Chloe made a mental note to pray for her once this hiccup with her car was behind her-- it had been so long since Stacie had gotten laid that Chloe started to worry about whether there were enough batteries in a 50-mile radius to power her array of vibrators.   

 

A slight wave of relief washed over as her fingers wrapped around the hard plastic case and she pulled the phone out of her bag, but when she tapped the screen nothing happened.

 

“Why?” she whined to no one in particular.  She tried hard to think of what she did (or didn’t do, for that matter) to earn her this type of spiritual retribution, but she came up empty.  She attended mass nearly everyday, except when she was sick or had class. She tried to follow the Golden Rule, didn’t have sex outside of marriage, hadn’t really even dated, made an effort not to judge others, and was conscious to not take the Lord’s name in vain...or curse at all, even though her friends often teased her for sounding like a ‘50s sitcom housewife.  

 

“Looks like I need to do some serious penance,” she said as she got out of the car.  She debated going back into church to perhaps say at least one, maybe two rosaries, in an effort to get her back on the front foot with God, but she knew that if she didn’t call her parents first, they’d be worried sick.

 

She made her way to the rectory.  Father Lewyn would still be awake, likely watching  _ Jeopardy,  _ so she knocked on the front door, hoping to kill two birds with one stone:  use of the rectory’s phone and perhaps also a brief chat with the Father to get to the bottom of why the deck seemed stacked against her. 

 

“Father Lewyn, I’m so sorry to -- “

 

Chloe stopped short when she realized the person on the other side of the door was decidedly  _ not  _ Father Lewyn, and while she didn't know it yet, everything that had happened so far tonight -- her car, her phone -- was actually working in her favor. 

 

“You’re, um, you’re not Father Lewyn,” Chloe continued.  

 

“Oh, most definitely not,” said the woman with a slight smirk.  “What gave it away?” 

 

Chloe’s eyes passed over the petite woman’s form, stopping at the spikes in her ears and the tattoos that peeked out from where her sleeves were rolled up to the middle of her biceps, but what stood out were her eyes -- stormy blue-grey that seemed to dance with mischief. 

 

“Um…”  Chloe had completely lost her train of thought and the feel of the woman’s gaze on her wasn’t providing the clarity she very much needed in this moment.  “Is he here? Father, I mean?” 

 

“I’m sorry, Sister, he’s not.  We’re rewiring this entire block for underground power lines and no one can be on the premises while we’re working.  Is there, maybe something I can help with?” 

 

“You’re...you...you’re installing underground power lines?” 

 

“Yep.  Which part is so hard to believe?” the woman challenged.  “That we’re able to put power lines underground or that I’m the one doing the work?” 

 

“I just…I guess I wasn’t expecting...I mean, I came looking for…”

 

“Father Lewyn,” they both said in unison.  

 

“Yes,” Chloe nodded and laughed.  “Could I maybe just...my car won’t start, and I wanted to see if I could use the phone.  Mine’s, uh, mine’s dead,” she said holding it up as if to prove her story. 

 

“I’d be happy to take a look for you,” said the woman, reaching for her jacket.  

 

Chloe looked at her incredulously.  

 

“Yeah, I know a little something about cars, too,” she said.  “C’mon.” 

 

The woman walked past Chloe, who followed her down the block.  

 

“Which one is it, Sister?  Or are you going to make me guess?”

 

Chloe couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her. 

 

“What?”  asked the other woman.   “What’s so funny?” 

 

“You keep calling me, ‘Sister,’...” 

 

“Yeah…is that not...uh, I’m sorry.  I’m not very familiar with religious...stuff.  Is ‘Sister,’ not the right term? I just figured that --” 

 

The woman’s bravado gave way to a sudden nervousness that she couldn’t hide and that Chloe found endearing.

 

“It is the right term...” said Chloe with a slight smile as she watched the other woman breathe a sigh of relief.  “...if I were a nun.” 

 

“You’re not a -- ?  Oh shit.” She looked up at Chloe, her eyes wide with disbelief at what she just said.  “Shit,” she said again. She was making faux pas after faux pas, but she just couldn’t seem to help herself.  “Jesus Christ,” she smacked her forehead with her palm. “Dammit. I mean -- Oh my god…” she shook her head in utter disbelief that her brain  and her mouth just wouldn't seem to cooperate. “God...ugh...I’m...I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you, um…” 

 

“Chloe.  My name’s Chloe, and I’m not a nun.”

 

“What are you then? Like a nun in training?” 

 

Chloe laughed again.  “I’m not sure that’s a thing. And no.  I’m just an average person.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that,” the other woman fired back almost too quickly.

 

Chloe was surprised that her breath caught at the compliment, almost as if it were a reflex, but she didn’t let herself dwell on the feeling for too long.  “And you are?” 

 

“Probably going straight to hell,” the woman deadpanned.  Then, she wiped her hand on her pant leg before extending it to Chloe.  “I’m Beca and I’m really sorry about all of the um...cursing.” 

 

Chloe laughed and took Beca’s hand, trying to ignore the warmth of their palms pressed together.  “It’s nice to meet you, Beca, and the cursing isn’t offensive, so don’t worry, OK?” 

 

Beca nodded.  “If you say so.  So, which one is yours, Chloe?” 

 

“You really know how to fix cars?” 

 

“Yes, but only if you tell me which one is yours.  I know I look like I might steal it, but I won’t. Promise.”

Chloe felt a little guilty. Here she was, sizing Beca up by her tattoos and piercings when the woman was only trying to help.  She felt even worse that the judgement was clearly written across her face, obvious enough for Beca to see. 

 

“No, I’m sorry, Beca. Forgive me. It’s just not often that you see a women electrician  _ and  _ mechanic, let alone in one evening. Heck, let alone in one person.” 

 

Chloe noticed the way Beca smiled when she said “Heck,” but instead of feeling embarrassed, she somehow felt...charmed by the woman before her. 

 

“Electrical engineer.” 

 

“Huh?” 

 

“You said ‘electrician,’ but I’m an electrical engineer.  I’m basically redesigning the power grid for this section of the city.” 

 

“Oh, well, now I guess it’s my turn to apologize.” 

 

“You don’t have to.  I get it a lot.” 

 

“You shouldn’t.  I think it’s really...fascinating.  Is that how you know how to fix cars too?”

 

“Oh no...that’s just a hobby.  And no guarantees I’ll be able to fix anything, but I should be able to get it started so that you can at least get it to a mechanic.” 

 

“That would be...I’d definitely owe you one, Beca.” 

 

“Nah. Just one person helping another person,” she said as she popped the hood and hung a light over the engine block.  “So, you’re not a nun. Do you work at the church?” Beca stuck her arm down between two large engine components, and withdrew it completely covered in black grease, the sight of which sent Chloe into action.  

 

“Here, I think I have an old towel in my trunk,” she said, but Beca waved her off and dipped her arm down again, following the same path.  “I’m sorry, what did you ask?”

 

“If you work here or something,” Beca repeated, leaning over the battery.  

 

“No, I'm a grad student at Barden University.  I was just attending mass.” 

 

“On a Tuesday?  Isn’t mass usually on Sunday?  Is it some religious holiday or something?”

 

“No. Mass is every day of the week.” 

 

“It is?” 

 

“Yep.”

 

“And do you go everyday or was this like, a make-up, or something?”

 

Chloe laughed and a warmth in her chest bloomed when Beca looked up at her, a faint blush of embarrassment tinting her cheeks.   “I try to go everyday, yeah.” Then, it was Chloe’s turn to be a little embarrassed. “I just really believe strongly in -- ” 

 

She glanced at Beca when she realized the metal-against-metal noises from beneath the hood had stopped, she and found a calm steadiness in the mischievous eyes concentrated on her.  “Hey, you don’t have to defend it to me, Chloe. I may not know a lot about religion, but I respect it. I get it. You feel strongly about your faith. That’s… it’s cool.” 

 

Beca’s smile was warm, not at all condescending, and Chloe couldn’t help but smile back, partially in relief, but there was something else, too.   Before she could really analyze it, Beca was leaning across the engine block again, gesturing to the driver’s side door. “Can you get in and turn it on?” 

 

Chloe did as she was told and Beca jumped back as the engine revved to life.  

 

“How did you…?” 

 

Beca pulled a cloth from her back pocket and wiped the grease off her arms. “Probably a clogged fuel filter.  I was able to get some of the gunk off it,” she said, wiggling her still grease-covered fingers in Chloe’s direction.  “but you definitely want to get it cleaned or, better yet, replaced.” 

 

While Chloe still needed to contend with the issue of being late for dinner without calling her parents, she was giddy over the fact that her car was at least drive-able for the short-term and launched herself at Beca, wrapping her arms around the petite woman.  

 

“Thank you, Beca!  You’re amazing. Thank you so much!!”

 

“Chloe?” Beca mumbled from a curtain of red hair, her arms flailing since she didn’t want to touch Chloe and risk getting her covered in grease. “Chloe!” 

 

Chloe pulled away, and Beca tried not to notice how adorable Chloe was in her excitement over a silly little car repair.  

 

“It’s no problem, really,” she said as she held the car door open for Chloe to get in.  “I’m just glad I could help.” 

 

She watched as Chloe buckled her seat belt and adjusted the mirror, stepping back so she could close the door. 

 

“It was nice meeting you, Beca.  And thanks again,” Chloe stuck her hand through the open window to shake Beca’s. 

 

“You too, Chloe,” she said as she went to take Chloe’s hand, only to think better of it since she was just elbow deep in a dirty engine.  Instead, she pulled her arm back and curled her fingers into a fist to make sure there was no chance of the grease getting on Chloe. “I better not, ‘cause of the…” she trailed off, nodding toward her dirty hand.  “But, I’m sure I’ll see you around,” she winked. Drive safely.”

 

Chloe was surprised at the pang of disappointment she felt from not being able to touch Beca again, but the wink more than made up for it.  “You too, Beca. Night.” she said, pulling out of her parking space and disappearing into traffic. 

 

She didn’t really remember the drive to her parents’ house or much of the fuss they made over her being late or them being worried for her safety.  She vaguely recalled them asking why she was so fidgety and whether she was feeling alright, but she brushed it off as waning anxiety from the evening’s events. 

 

“I think you should stay here tonight, Chloe, rather than going back your apartment. I’m worried about you.” 

 

“It’s fine.  I’m fine, Mom,” she said as she leaned her head back into the couch cushions.  

 

But Chloe was anything but.  Every time she so much as blinked, Beca’s face, her smile, flashed in her mind’s eye.  She told herself it was gratitude, appreciation and maybe even a little admiration for how intelligent Beca was, but she knew come Saturday she’d have to mention lying -- even if it was just to herself -- as part of her weekly confession. 

 


	2. Catechism for Dummies

“Aubrey,  what do you know about religion?” 

 

Beca and Aubrey were sitting across a conference table from one another, a pile of paperwork between them.  Aubrey was scanning the documents and then passing them to Beca for her signature.

 

“Which one? I was raised Lutheran, but I haven’t been to church since...well, it’s been a long time.” 

 

“Uh, Catholic, I think,” she said as she signed the last packet of papers and added it to the stack on her left.  

 

“Not much, but Jesse might.  He goes to church more than once a year on Christmas.  Why the sudden interest, Beca? Are you turning over a new leaf?” 

 

“Fuck, no.”

 

“Yeah, not with that mouth.” 

 

“Exactly.” 

 

“So...who’s the girl?”  Aubrey questioned, leading Beca out of the office and to the kitchen to make them both cups of coffee. 

 

“What? Who said there’s a girl?” 

 

“You only ask obscure questions like this when you like someone.  So who is she?” 

 

“I do not,” Beca said, looking anywhere but at Aubrey.

 

“You’re really going to make me spell it out for you? ‘Aubrey, what do you know about metallurgy?  Aubrey, what do you know about floral arranging? Aubrey, what do you know about kinesiology?’ I rest my case.” 

 

“Ah, you’re such a lawyer.  No help at all. Go to hell.” 

 

“I work with you  _ and  _ you're my best friend.  I think I'm already in hell, Beca.  Now, what’s the question?” 

 

She sighed, now reluctant and somewhat embarrassed.  “Can Catholic girls, um, date?” 

 

“Well, I’m not sure, but I’m fairly certain they can’t date  _ other girls.   _ Honestly, Beca.  Read a newspaper.  Catholicism, like most religions, I guess, has a huge issue with homosexuality.  So, I’d say you’re SOL with this one. Back to kinesiology girl for you.” 

 

“Well, she was bendy,” she joked, causing Aubrey to spit a mouthful of coffee back into her cup. 

 

“Beca!” 

 

“She was.  But can you just call Jesse and ask him?” she pleaded as she followed Aubrey into her office and plopped down on her leather sofa, watching her dial.  

 

Beca could hear Jesse pick up on the other end of the line and she tried not to listen in as Aubrey relayed the question, but she couldn’t ignore the way Jesse snickered and says “So, who’s the girl?” 

 

She grabbed the phone from Aubrey’s hand, “Fuck you, Jesse.  Just answer the question.”

 

“Becs, you’re not going to get into a Catholic school girl’s pants with language like that.” 

 

“She’s not a Catholic school girl.  She’s --” 

 

“So there  _ is  _ someone,” Jesse teased.  

 

“Ugh.  Kiss my ass,” she said, tossing the phone back to Aubrey, but she could still vaguely hear Jesse in the background.  “Cursing. If memory serves, that’s three Hail Marys. Do you know the Hail Mary, Bec?” 

 

“All right.  Enough,” Aubrey said into the phone as she noticed the tips of Beca’s ears getting redder and redder -- a sure sign that she was through being playful.  “So...what’s the answer, dear husband? Here. I’m putting you on speaker.”

 

“Like everything, I think it’s a sliding scale.  It depends on how strict of a Catholic she is.” 

 

“She was at church on a Tuesday.” 

 

Jesse bit back a laugh. “Oh shit. Bec, I think you’re betting on the entirely wrong horse here.  She might date, but she’s probably still a virgin. Saving herself until she gets married. And strike two for you, because if she’s that observant, any girl-on-girl action is probably completely out of the question.” 

 

Aubrey and Beca both scrunched up their noses in disgust.

 

“I’m sorry,” he continued.  “I know that’s not the answer you wanted, but I don’t want you getting hung up on this girl when you don’t have a shot in hell.”  He paused. “Unless, maybe you were to convert.” 

 

It was a joke.  Beca knew it was a joke, but if he could tease so could she.  She could play along with the best of them. 

 

“OK. OK,” she said   What would I have to do to convert?”  Beca asked as Aubrey’s eyes went wide.  And she could hear Jesse’s gasp on the other end of the phone.  In an effort to not burst out laughing, she reached in to the front pocket of her jeans and pinched her thigh.  Hard. 

 

“Beca,” Jesse said weakly.  “I was...I wasn’t suggesting you actually...who is this girl and what did she do to get Beca Badass Mitchell to even  _ think  _ about converting?” 

 

Aubrey was still too stunned to speak, but she managed to eek out, “Well, I’m sure there’s a book...or something online.  I mean, if you’re really serious about --” 

 

“Assholes,” Beca laughed as her resolve crumbled. “Of course I’m not serious...not about the converting anyway, but --” she ducked as Aubrey reached across the desk to slap her.  “If I’m being honest, I can’t get this girl out of my head. I met her for like 10 minutes and I can’t...I just keep thinking about her.”

 

“Is it because she’s a virgin?” asked Aubrey.

 

“Are you a halo chaser?” Jesse chimed in.

 

“A what? What the hell, Jesse?  We are hanging up now,” Beca said as she hit a button on Aubrey’s phone. 

 

“Seriously,” Aubrey said with a stern look.  “We need to talk.” 

 

“It has nothing to do with the fact that she’s a virgin and, before you ask, I’m not attracted to her because I know I can’t have her.  She’s just -- well you’d have to see her. She’s got this soft red hair and my god, her eyes. I can’t unsee them, you know? Well, you don’t know because you’re married to...that.”  She gestures to the phone. 

 

“Hey, just because you’re madly in love with this forbidden fruit doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me and Jesse.” 

 

“I’m not madly in love with her.  I barely know her. I just...I  _ want  _ to know her.” 

 

“I think I agree with Jesse, Bec. This can’t end well for either of you.  Look, we’ve spent all morning signing contracts for more projects for the city. Let’s celebrate with a little lunch, huh?” 

 

“Yeah.  Yeah, OK.”  

 

Aubrey felt bad for Beca. She really did, and normally she’d be ready, willing and able to help her best friend, but if this girl was as religious as she thought, she couldn’t see how it would ever work out.  Beca would only wind up crushed and she definitely didn’t want that. It was a question of hurt now or hurt later.

 

XxxX

 

“How much coffee have you had this morning?”  Stacie looked up from the magazine she was reading, half annoyed, half concerned.

 

“None, why?” countered Chloe who had moved with her bowl of fruit and yogurt from the table, to the couch and now back to the table.

 

“It’s like you can’t sit still. What’s gotten into you?” 

 

“Nothing. It’s nothing,” Chloe rushed out.  

 

“Chloe, I’ve known you for nearly 10 years. I know when something’s up, I just don’t know what it is, so are you going to tell me or am I going to have to strap you down?” Stacie asked, waggling her eyebrows at the suggestion and making Chloe laugh. 

 

“I don’t...I can’t put my finger on it -- ” 

 

“I think that’s part of your problem. I’ve been telling you that for months now. Just -- ” 

 

“Stacie,” Chloe chided.

 

Stacie holds her hands up in mock defense.  “I know. I’m just saying, I think it would help.  It might relax you. They used to prescribe it for women in the 1800s as a cure for hysteria.” 

 

“I’m not hysterical, Stacie!”  Chloe yelled before realizing how she sounded and slinking back into the couch.  “I’m sorry,” she said putting her head in her hands.

 

“It’s OK, Chlo,” said Stacie coming to sit next to her.  “You wanna tell me about it, or do you just want to do a little toy shopping in my closet? What’s mine is yours, you know.  Just put it in the dishwasher afterwards.” 

 

Chloe picked her head up and looks at Stacie.  “You wash your sex toys in our dishwasher?” 

 

“Yeah, on the sanitary cycle.” 

 

Stacie’s response made Chloe put the spoon she was using to eat her yogurt into the bowl, pushing the whole thing away with the tip of her finger as if it were laden with germs.

 

“Don’t be such a prude.  Now, what’s eating at you?...Or not?” 

 

“I can’t, Stacie.  As it is, I’m going to be in the confessional long enough on Saturday.” 

 

“Oooh, do tell!”  Stacie tucked her legs up under her and leaned her head on her right arm, which was propped up on the back of the couch so she could face Chloe. 

 

“Well, you know yesterday when my car wouldn’t start?”

 

“Uh-huh?” 

 

“I went into the rectory to ask if I could use the phone.  I thought Father Lewyn would be there, but instead, this girl, Beca, answered the door. Long story short, she offered to fix my car and, well, the minute I laid eyes on her, I...I just haven't been able to stop thinking about her. She was sweet and funny and…” 

 

“Sounds like you have a little crush, missy,” said Stacie, flipping her friend’s hair. 

 

“On a girl, Stace.” 

 

“It’s just a crush, Chloe.  Just go take care of it. It will get uh -- “

 

“Beca.”

 

“Yeah, Beca off your mind and you’ll feel better.  And you’ll only have to fess up to impure thoughts, which seems like it would get you less of a sentence --” 

 

“Penance.” 

 

“OK, penance, than full on having sex.  And with a chick. Now...go on. I promise I won’t listen.  I’ll leave.”

 

Chloe stood up, but looked scared and doubtful.  Stacie patted her ass in an effort to get her to move along.  “Trust me, Chloe.” 

 

She reluctantly started up the stairs only to have Stacie call after her, “Hitachi magic wand! Start it on low speed!” 

 

XxxX

 

The toy looked more like a hand mixer than it did anything remotely phallic or sexual, much less appealing or a turn on -- not that Chloe needed any help in that department.

 

She shoved the toy off the bed and got back under the covers, hoping to fall back to sleep,  praying that when she woke up, all of  _ this... _ all that she’s feeling, that’s twisting inside her will have vanished.  Instead, like a cruel joke, all she could see when she closed her eyes was Beca and it made whatever was going on inside her flare up.  It was like spraying hairspray on a lit match. The heat coursing through her and she felt her insides tighten, even as she tried to chase the thoughts away. 

 

Eventually, sleep came.  Chloe didn’t.

 

XxxX

 

It was the first time in a long time that  Chloe couldn’t wait for mass to end. She didn’t want to chat afterwards. She didn’t want to go out for coffee.  She didn’t want to discuss that day’s homily in the rectory. And she definitely didn’t want to see Beca. 

 

Actually, she realized she wanted more than anything to see Beca, but something happens to her when she thinks about Beca. She didn’t really know what it was.  She just knew it wasn’t good -- well, it  _ was  _ good, which, if you’re Catholic, meant it was bad -- and she knew she couldn’t really control it.  

 

Of course, as if God were testing her, Beca appeared at her driver’s side door with a shy wave.  Not wanting to be rude, Chloe rolled down the window and she wondered if Beca could hear the way her heart was thudding in her ears.  

 

“Hey, Chloe.” 

 

“Hi Beca,” Chloe said, trying to steady the quiver in her voice. 

 

“You seem like you’re in a rush.  I won’t hold you up, but I just wanted to see if you had your car looked at and what they said.” 

 

“Thanks.  That’s nice.  I haven’t taken it in yet.  I have an appointment tomorrow, actually.” 

 

“Oh, OK.  Good. That’s good.” 

 

Chloe smiled a tight smile and nodded.  

 

“Well, I guess I’ll let you go.  Unless…” 

 

“Unless?”

 

“I just thought maybe I could buy you a coffee.”

 

“Now?”

 

Beca ran her hand through her hair.  She had no idea what she was doing other than playing with fire. “Yeah, now, or later.  Whenever.” 

 

“That’s sounds nice, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea.” 

 

“Oh,”  Beca looked crestfallen and it hurt Chloe to see.  “It’s just coffee,” she told herself. “Probably an hour and it’s over.  What could possibly happen? Beca probably doesn’t even like me that way.  You’re just psyching yourself up over nothing.” 

 

Chloe snapped herself out of it and laughed nervously.  “I’m sorry, that came out wrong,” and she immediately noticed the way the look on Beca’s face changed to one of hope.  It made that...that feeling flare up again, but instead of running from it, she was suddenly embracing it, allowing herself to be emboldened by it.  “I just meant, I should be the one buying you coffee. As a thank you for fixing my car.” 

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

 

“Well, I want to.  Hop in.”

 

Chloe watched as Beca jogged around to the passenger side and slipped into the seat, tugging the seatbelt across her hips.  It’s then she noticed a new scent filling the car...one that smelled like clean, crisp white sheets that had been dried outside on a clothesline.  She closed her eyes and inhaled. 

 

Beca didn’t appear to notice, but if she did, she didn’t acknowledge it.  Instead, she looked at Chloe with that same mischief dancing in her eyes and says.  “Well? My coffee awaits.” 

 

“Great.  Let’s go.” 

 

“Baked & Wired is right around the corner, or is that...they have alcohol so maybe that’s not -- “

 

Chloe giggled. “I’m not Amish, Beca.  I can be around alcohol and believe it or not, I do drink.”

 

“Noted,” Beca said with a sly smile that hid the way she was still trying to recover from Chloe’s adorable laugh.  “If it’s OK with you though, I’m going to stick to coffee. I have a big meeting with the city council tomorrow and I need to be on my toes.” 

 

“Coffee is totally fine.  What’s your poison?” Chloe asked as they parked the car and got out.  She had to admit she was flattered when Beca held the door to the cafe open for her.

 

“A latte would be great.”

 

“You got it.  One latte coming up,” said Chloe, setting her bag down on the table.

 

Beca took a seat and watched as the fiery woman she couldn’t get out of her head bounded to the counter to order.  She knew she had to reign in the smile that had spread across her face, but she couldn't stop herself until, when out of the corner of her eye, she saw a copy of the Bible that slipped from Chloe's bag -- a sobering reminder of the stained glass curtain that stood between her and Chloe.

 

XxxX

 

Neither noticed the way the time went by until the baristas started putting chairs up on tables.

 

“It's late,” Beca said, glancing at her phone. “I guess we should probably...” she jerked her head towards the door.

 

Chloe humed a reluctant agreement that wasn’t lost on Beca.

 

“Although,” she continued and watched the way a subtle, maybe hopeful, smile tugged at Chloe's lips.  “It is a nice night. Maybe we could, um, go for a walk. There's a park with a really nice --”

 

“Fountain.  I know. I'd like that.”

 

Now, it's Beca's turn to smile, as she again opened the door for Chloe.

 

When they entered the park, Beca noticed Chloe shiver.  It was early spring and the late night air was still a little cool.  She took off her hoodie and put it over Chloe's shoulders. 

 

“Thanks,” Chloe said quietly as she slipped her arms into the sleeves and tugged the front panels together to zip it up.

 

“Better?”

 

“Much.”

 

“Good,” Beca said as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, drawing Chloe's eyes to the spike through the cartilage.  It scared her, but in a good way; in a way that made her want to run her tongue over it, not run away from it. She sighed, trying to release the way her stomach tightened at the thought.

 

“You OK?” Beca asked quietly.

 

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

 

Beca nodded as they continued to walk side by side, toward the sound of running water.

 

The fountain was surrounded by benches that at this late hour were mostly vacant, save for a few couples who weren't quite ready to say good night.  Then, there was Beca and Chloe, who weren't sure what more there was to say.

 

Chloe was in a relationship with her religion and Beca...Beca was the kind of girl mothers prayed their daughters would never meet, let alone fall in love with. 

 

“How do you know about this place?” asked Beca as they circled the fountain slowly. “It's not near Barden.”

 

“No, but we sometimes have, uh, Bible study here.  When the weather's nice.”

 

Chloe's never been embarrassed or shy to talk about her faith.  She doesn't proselytize and she doesn't drop scripture into casual conversation, but when someone's asks, she's  open about her convictions. Yet for some reason, it all seemed so silly around Beca. And it was nothing Beca did to make her feel bad or ashamed. Chloe just felt that, suddenly, there was more out there for her, and that was a startling revelation.  

 

When she thought there could never be anything bigger in her life than her faith, her car wouldn't start, her cell phone died and Beca -- not Father Lewyn -- opened the rectory door. In the time it took to turn a doorknob, the world Chloe thought she knew, the things she thought she wanted, changed completely.  If she actually needed proof that God worked in mysterious ways, Tuesday night...Beca...was it. 

 

It occurred to her that maybe everything leading up to this moment was not her faith abandoning her or punishing her, but rewarding her for being so devout in the face of near constant temptation.  Or maybe Beca was the temptation that she had to resist. A test that she had to pass.

 

As if Beca could sense Chloe was in a deeply contemplative place, she stayed mostly quiet as they circled around the fountain once more, back towards the car. 

 

It was a public fountain, but Beca worried that her being here with Chloe was tainting this sacred spot where she dissected the Bible, poured over its meaning and how it applied to her life.  As exhilarated as she felt to be with Chloe, she was also equally uneasy...like the third wheel intruding on Chloe's relationship with her religion. 

 

As if to distract herself from her own fears and guilt, Beca broke the silence between them.  “You're quiet.”

 

She was hoping for some reassurance that she didn't unknowingly pressure Chloe into any part of this evening.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“You don't need to apologize, Chloe.  I just -- something's clearly going on in that head of yours and I -- well, if you want to talk about it…”

 

“Thanks, Beca.  I appreciate that.” Chloe tried to signal the finality of the conversation by unlocking her car, the horn beeping twice and the headlights flashing.  

 

But Beca missed the subtlety of the action.  Instead, she stopped in front of the driver's side door as Chloe got in and waited for her to continue.

 

When she didn't, Beca wrung her hands together in hopes that the friction might draw out some instruction for what she was supposed to do next.  Her mouth gaped, but instead of trying to goad Chloe into speaking, she simply made her way around to the other side of the car. Maybe in that time, she'd come up with a better way to draw out a suddenly withdrawn Chloe.

 

And then it came to her.

 

She felt the woman's eyes on her as she got into the passenger side and buckled her seatbelt.  That, coupled with what she was about to ask, made her smile even though she wasn't confident in the answer she'd get.

 

“What?” asked Chloe, unable to stop herself from mirroring Beca's grin, even as the significance of meeting Beca, the meaning behind it, and what, if anything, she was supposed to take away from it, rested heavily on her shoulders.

 

“I, um...so I DJ at a club every Friday and I was wondering if maybe you'd want to come this week?”

 

Chloe sighed, resigned.  She knew what she wanted her answer to be, but she was also keenly aware of what her answer needed to be.

 

“No.  I...I cant, Beca.

 

“It's after church.  And I'd get you VIP access so you could hang out in the booth with me.  Like, you wouldn't have to be on the dance floor or anything. You'd be away from all of the...uh... dirty dancing and stuff.”

 

Chloe couldn't help but laugh at Beca's rambling and her use of the term “dirty dancing.”  She also couldn't deny that the invitation felt like the start of a runaway train and for the first time in her life, she wanted to easily lose control without thinking twice, which is why she knew she had to push back hard against everything her body and mind was telling her.

 

She sighed hard.  Frustrated. Disappointed.  “I can’t give you what you want, Beca.” 

 

Beca looked startled.  “I don’t...I’m not asking for anything, Chloe, except your time so I can get to know you.” 

 

“And when that’s no longer enough…?” 

 

Beca wasn't sure what to say to that.  She opened and closed her mouth feeling like a literal fish out of water, struggling to breathe. Regardless of what Chloe thought about her or suspected about her intentions, she honestly hadn't planned any further ahead than spending time with Chloe -- nothing more.

 

Before she could offer any words of reassurance, though, Chloe started her car.  “That's what I thought.”

 

Beca was stunned that Chloe cut her off so quickly.   She could do little more in the moment than watch as Chloe's tail lights disappeared into traffic.


	3. Forbidden Fruit

“You have been in a mood all day.  What gives, Mitchell?” Aubrey not so much asked, but demanded.  

 

Beca barely looked up from her computer. “Just busy, Aubrey.” 

 

“Nope. No way.” Aubrey sat on the side of Beca’s desk. “I know ‘Busy Beca’ and she’s a far cry from this Beca.  This is…well…” she cocked her head, sizing up her friend. “This is ‘Distant Beca,’ ‘Despondent Beca’ and dare I say, ‘Depressed Beca’.”

 

“Impressive alliteration,” Beca said as she swivelled her desk chair to remove some paper from the printer.  “But, I am none of those things.” 

 

“Then what are you?” 

 

“I’m working, which is what you should be doing, too.  That is why I pay you, right? Not to assess my current mental or emotional state.” 

 

Aubrey crossed her arms and “harrumphed” as she started toward Beca’s office door.  She hated when Beca delivered a comeback for which she had no comeback...until she did.  It dawned on her that this is how Beca got when she didn’t get what she wanted. She pouted and moped like a petulant child.  Suddenly, it all clicked. 

 

“Is this all because you really like her, or is your ego just bruised because someone dared to say ‘no’ to Beca Mitchell?”

 

She watched as Beca swallowed hard, and she knew she was right.  She’d verbally cornered her friend and the only way out was for Beca to be direct and tell the truth or…

 

“What the fuck, Aubrey?  Kiss my ass, all right? Like where the hell do you get off talking about my damn ego.”  

 

Or...obfuscate the truth with a string of curse words, which is just as telling coming from Beca as being honest. 

 

Aubrey only smirked. “Uh-huh.  Look, I’m just going to say this and then I’ll shut up.” 

 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Beca mumbled just loud enough for Aubrey to hear.  

 

“You, Beca Mitchell, are sweet and thoughtful and caring.” 

 

“Hey, don’t spread that around, dude.” 

 

“I won’t.  I don’t have to.  You do a fine job of showing it to the people who you want to see it, and this girl --”

 

“Chloe.”

 

“--Is clearly one of those people, but you have your work cut out for you.  It’s you against her faith and maybe you’ll be the one...but maybe you won’t.” 

 

“Thanks for that vote of confidence, Aubrey.” 

 

“You didn’t let me finish.  I was going to say that I think you have a good shot, and if anyone can do it, you can.  You just have to be patient with her and understand everything she’ll have to sacrifice to be with you.” 

 

“Like what? What do you mean?” 

 

Aubrey closed the office door and sat in a chair across the desk from Beca.  “OK, let’s just say that she has feelings for you. No matter how you slice it, you’re forbidden fruit.  For her to reject that notion is to reject her entire religion. But, if she still chooses to pursue you in spite of that, she’s committed a huge sin in the eyes of the church.”  

“Just give me a pitchfork and horns,” Beca sighs.  “I don’t want to put her in that position...but I still want her.” 

 

“I think you’ve made that clear.  Now, you need to back off and leave it up to her.” 

 

XxxX

 

Beca sat in her parked her car, just down the block from the entrance to the church and she watched in her rear view mirror.  There was no missing the flash of red that exited, looked both ways and dashed across the street to her car. 

  
She felt a little creepy, a little stalkerish, but she needed to say her piece and then she’d disappear and let Chloe make up her own mind.   She promised herself and Chloe that she’d be OK with whatever the outcome was. 

 

Chloe must have tried to start her car three or four times.  She couldn’t believe this was happening again, especially when she’d just had the car serviced, including a brand new filter.   Beca was right, that was the problem according to the mechanic, but he’d given the whole thing a once-over, just to make sure there weren’t any other issues.  So, either he missed something, or he broke something else so she’d have to bring the car back for more work. 

 

It was when she dropped her head to the steering wheel that Beca got out of the car and made her way across the street, lightly tapping on the driver’s side window. 

 

“Hi, Chloe.”  She was used to being confident with women -- what did they call it?  Big dick energy? -- but she couldn’t muster the same bravado with Chloe.  It was almost as if she was the kryptonite to Beca’s Superman. She just became weak and powerless in Chloe’s presence.  

 

For her part, Chloe tried to sound patient, but she really wasn’t in the mood.  “Beca, now...it’s not a good time,” she said as she ran her fingers through her hair. 

 

“Please, just hear me out,” she paused, waiting for Chloe to cut her off again.  When she didn’t, Beca continued. “I wanted to apologize for the other night. Look, I like you.  I like spending time with you and I’d like to do more of it, so if that means doing it on your terms in a way that you’re most comfortable with, I’m all for it.  I really...I meant what I said. I just want to get to you know you. Zero expectations.”

 

Chloe was silent for a long time; so long that Beca started to walk away.   The reality was Chloe believed Beca. She trusted Beca, but she didn’t trust herself, as evidenced by the next word to leave her mouth.  “OK.” 

 

Beca stopped dead in her tracks and turned.  “OK?” she asked in disbelief, not sure if she heard correctly.

 

A small smile creeped across Chloe’s face.  “Yeah. OK.” She still wasn’t sure that was the right answer, but there was something about Beca that wouldn’t let her say ‘no.’  That could be problematic later, but she’d worry about that when the time came. For now, she convinced herself she wasn’t doing anything wrong.  She was a friend, just like Stacie, and there was nothing wrong with having another friend, right? Even if she was a really cute friend who made her stomach tighten everytime they were near each other, who made her heart drop whenever she reached out to touch her. 

 

It was then that she felt Beca’s hand in hers, placing something -- half plastic, half metal -- in her palm.  She opened her hand, looking down at it and then back up at Beca, who looked completely guilty. “What is this?” she asked.

 

“Uh, it’s a spark plug.  Your spark plug actually.”

 

“You took the spark plug out of my car?  Is that why it won’t start?” 

 

Beca started off sheepishly. “Yeah, I’m sorry.  In hindsight, it was kind of creepy, but I just needed -- I wanted to talk to you.  I didn’t want you to drive off like last time.” 

 

She stepped back as Chloe opened the driver’s side door and got out, spark plug still in her hand.  “I’m sorry about that, Beca. I just got scared.” 

 

“Of me?  Because I’d never -- “

 

“Not of you.  Of me. Of...that,” she jerked her head back towards the church.  

 

“Look, Chloe.  I don’t -- I’m not religious.  I understand what it all means in theory, but not in practice, so you have to tell me how much is too much for you.  That’s the only way we can be friends. Promise?” 

 

Chloe smiled.  “Only under one condition.” 

  
“What’s that?” 

 

Chloe grabbed Beca’s hand, turning it palm side up and placing the spark plug in it. “Fix my car, you...you…”

 

“You want to curse, don’t you?”  Beca’s smile was devilish and it twisted Chloe’s insides.  “I know you can’t...but I can. Would that help?” 

 

Chloe bit her bottom lip and nodded. 

 

“Asshole.”

 

“Yeah, that’s fitting,” she laughed and Beca laughed right along with her as she popped the hood of Chloe’s car and returned the spark plug to its rightful place.  

 

Chloe knew the drill, getting in the driver’s side and turning on the ignition.  When the car started, she breathed a sigh of relief. “I should thank you, but you’re the one who caused all this in the first place.” 

 

“I’m sorry, Chloe. I  just couldn’t let you go thinking that my intentions were anything other than innocent.”

 

“And I’m sorry for thinking the worst.” 

 

“So, we’re good?”

 

“Just as long as you don’t remove anything from my car that’s essential to driving it,” she said with a raised eyebrow.  

 

Beca knew she meant business, but she also couldn’t help but notice how cute she was doing it.  “Deal. So, I’ll see you around?” 

 

Chloe grabbed the phone out of Beca’s hand and put in her own number.  Then she texted herself so she’d have Beca’s. 

 

“There,” she said, handing Beca’s phone back to her and closed her car door.  “Be good, Beca.” And with that, she deftly backed out of her parking space and zipped around the block. 

 

When Beca looked back to her phone, she saw that Chloe put her number in under the name “Sister Chloe,” which made her laugh.  As conservative as Chloe was in some aspects of her life, she had a great sense of humor and wasn’t afraid to make fun of herself, which was a huge turn-on for Beca.  

 

This wasn’t going to be as easy as Beca thought.   

 

XxxX

 

Chloe was standing in front of the closet, pondering a shirt to pair with the slim fit jeans and heels she was wearing. 

  
“What’s up, buttercup?” Stacie asked, not at all surprised to find Chloe in her room.  

 

“Shopping your closet.  I need a top to go with these heels.” 

 

“Are you the ‘don’t’ model for a ‘how to dress for church’ poster?”

 

“Very funny.  No, I’m going to a club.” 

 

“I’m sorry, you’re what?” 

 

“Beca invited me to see her DJ tonight.” 

 

“And you said ‘yes’?”

 

“Actually I said no, because I thought she just wanted sex, but she stole the spark plug out of my car yesterday and apologized and...Ikindofwanttoseeher,” Chloe took a deep breath.  “And maybe surprise her.” 

 

“She -- wait -- what?”   Stacie pulled out a royal blue satin blouse.  The modest high neck and long sleeves balanced the cutout in the front that let some of Chloe’s freckled decolletage peek through and the barely there back, which showed off her muscular shoulders.   

 

“It’s a long story,” she said as she took the shirt from Stacie and started to put it on.    
  
“Well, start talking while I get dressed.” 

 

“Hot date?”

 

“Yeah, you.  I’m not letting you go to this club alone.  Beca sounds like a delinquent, stealing the spark plug from your car.” 

 

“She’s not.  She wanted to apologize.  It was...sweet.” 

 

“I think the church incense has gotten to you.  Either that, or you’ve sneaking sips of the communion wine.  Which is it?” 

 

Chloe laughed.  “Neither. Now, are you coming or not?  We’re going to be late.” 

 

XxxX

 

The club was loud.  Stacie took to it immediately, but Chloe needed a moment to adjust to the music, the lights, the bodies.

 

“You OK?” Stacie shouted into her ear.

 

“Yeah.  Fine. It’s just been a while.”    
  
Stacie nodded.  “If it gets to be too much, just say the word and we’re out of here.  Until then, let’s have a drink.” 

 

Chloe nodded and let Stacie lead her to the bar where she promptly ordered two gin and tonics and opened a tab.  

 

“Chloe?” Stacie said as she tried to hand her her drink, but Chloe’s focus was elsewhere. Specifically on the elevated DJ booth that was floating above the dance floor.  Stacie followed her line of sight to settle on a petite brunette, dressed in a pair of black leather pants and a retro sleeveless t-shirt from Blondie’s 1979  _ Parallel Lines  _ tour, her long hair kept out of her eyes by a huge pair of headphones -- one held in place by the woman’s shoulder, which was raised up to her ear, and the other pushed back to expose her ear spikes. 

 

“Is that --?” Stacie looked at Chloe in disbelief. 

 

Chloe bit her bottom lip, trying to suppress a smile and nodded.  

 

“Jesus Christ, she’s hot,” Stacie fanned herself and, realizing what she said, turned to apologize to Chloe, but Chloe only brushed it off.  

 

“I’m glad one of us can say what we’re both thinking.”

 

“Chloe, I’m just going to tell you this once.  “If you don’t sleep with her, I definitely will.  C’mon, let’s get closer.” Stacie tugged her forward, but Chloe didn’t move.  “What?” 

 

“That’s the VIP section, Stace.  I don’t think we’re allowed up there.  I mean, Beca offered to put my name on the list, but when I told her I wasn’t coming, I doubt she did.”

 

“Well, it can’t hurt to at least try, can it?  The worst they can say is no.” 

 

Stacie approached the bouncer behind the velvet rope.  “Chloe Beale,” she said with confidence. 

 

The bouncer thumbed through several pages of his list and then shook his head.  “Sorry. No Chloe Beale on the list.” 

 

“No no,” said Stacie.  “It should be there. I’m friends with Beca,” and she gestured to the DJ booth.

 

The bouncer quirked his eyebrow, doubtful about Stacie's claim.  “Nope. You’re not on the list. And if you’re not on the list, I can’t let you through.” 

 

“Can you please check again?  Maybe it's under 'Sister Chloe’.”

 

He didn't even bother to look at the clipboard, but instead rolled his eyes, “Miss, I don't know how many other ways to say this --”

 

Just then a blonde appeared over the bouncer's shoulder.  “Did I hear you say Sister Chloe?”

 

Chloe laughed.  “Yes, but she’s just -- that's not -- I'm not a nun.”

 

“She just likes to spend her free time on her knees,” Stacie said, earning a swat from Chloe.

 

“Ignore her.  I'm, um, a friend of Beca's and --”

 

“I know exactly who you are, Chloe.  Beca won't shut up about you. C'mon,” she said as she unclipped the velvet rope and pulled it to the side.  “I'm Aubrey. Beca's best friend and business partner.”

 

Chloe and Stacie followed Aubrey to a circular booth.  “It's nice to meet you, Aubrey. This is Stacie, my roommate.”

 

Stacie wasn't shy about eyeing Aubrey before shaking her hand and sliding into the booth next to her.

 

“Chloe, does Beca know you're here?” asked Aubrey, sipping on a hard cider.

 

“Um, no.  I told her I couldn't make it, but then my plans changed so I thought I'd see if she maybe there was a chance...”

 

“She’s going to be floored that you're here.”

 

“In a good way, I hope.”

 

“Most definitely.  She should be finished with her set in…” Aubrey checked her watch. “About an hour.  Until then, the VIP bar is over there,” she pointed over her left shoulder. “And if you want to go down to the dance floor, just make sure Pauly gives you a green bracelet,” she held up her wrist to show off a fluorescent green wristband, “so you can get back into the VIP section.”

 

Chloe and Stacie both nodded in understanding.  “Thanks for your help, Aubrey.”

 

“I couldn't believe it when I heard you say, ‘Sister Chloe.’ Talk about being in the right place at the right time.”

 

From the booth, Beca swore she saw a flash of red hair below. For a fleeting moment, she let herself be hopeful, but when nothing and no one materialized, she chalked it up to wishful thinking and refocused her attention on her mixing.  She reminded herself that Chloe was pretty clear about about declining her invitation and the odds of her changing her mind were nearly nil. 

 

As Beca dropped a bass line into the song, she again -- seemingly for the thousandth time -- 

thought back to Aubrey’s question:  Was Beca really attracted to Chloe, or was this some sort of cat-and-mouse game?  And everytime Beca considered her answer, she was more and more resolute in the fact that she was really drawn to Chloe because she was...Chloe.  Simple as that.

 

But of course, nothing about this was simple.  Beca always seemed to pick the path of greatest resistance.  If it were just the thrill of the hunt, so to speak, she could virtually guarantee the chase would get old.  She’d get distracted by something, or someone, else, and Chloe would be yesterday’s news. Unfortunately for her though, she knew her feelings for Chloe would only get stronger, which made it likely that Chloe’s resistance would grow proportionally, eventually pushing them -- and keeping them -- apart. 

 

Beca sighed and queued up some pre-recorded music to keep the crowd on their feet while she took a break.  She exited the booth and slammed into a hard body -- one that gripped her shoulders to stop her from falling over. 

 

When she opened her eyes, she thought maybe, just maybe, she’d sustained a sharp blow to the head and was imagining things because there was that flash of red she thought she saw earlier, this time for real.  

 

“Chloe? What are you --?”

 

“Hi, Beca,” she said beaming. 


	4. Confession

Beca couldn’t help but smile.  The look on Chloe’s face was one of pride, almost as if she’d successfully sneaked out of the house after curfew and despite being grounded.    

 

“Holy shit!” At that exclamation, Beca clapped her hand over her mouth, making Chloe laugh.   “Sorry,” she continued. “What I meant was, what are you doing here?”

 

“I hope it's OK that I came,” Chloe said, now suddenly second-guessing her decision to surprise Beca.  “Aubrey overheard us talking to the bouncer and got us in.”

 

“Of course it's OK.  It's great actually. I'm just...surprised.  In a good way.” She laughed nervously as she pulled Chloe into a hug.  “Hi.”

 

“You are...amazing,” Chloe said, gesturing to the DJ booth as they parted.  

 

“Oh, thanks.  It’s just, you know, a hobby.” 

 

“I’m…”  Chloe’s eyes roamed Beca’s face and wound up lingering at her lips, which Beca couldn’t help but notice.  “...impressed.” 

 

Instead of responding, Beca took a huge gamble and reached for Chloe’s hand.  To her surprise, Chloe accepted it readily, tightening her grip when Beca gave her fingers a light squeeze.  

 

“So, you met Aubrey?” Beca asked, leading them to the bar. 

 

“Yep, she’s over there,” Chloe pointed to the booth where she last left Aubrey and Stacie, who were chatting like long-lost friends. 

 

“Who’s the brunette?”  

 

“That’s Stacie. My roommate.  I want you to meet her.”

 

Beca leaned into the bar as the bartender approached. “Sure. What are they drinking?” 

 

“Uh, ciders, I think.” 

 

“And you?” 

 

“Gin and tonic.”  

 

The bartender nodded and set to work popping caps off bottles and garnishing a glass with a slice of lime. 

 

“Really?”  Beca grabbed the glass and stuck in her nose to take a sniff.

 

Chloe snatched it back, giggling.  “Yes,” she said taking a step into Beca’s space.  “It’s a sin to lie you know.” 

 

The new proximity of Chloe, nearly pressed up against Beca’s front made Beca swallow hard.  She wasn’t sure what was happening. She just knew she needed to stay in control, willing her arms to stay rigid at her side, rather than wrapping them around Chloe’s waist and pulling her into a kiss. 

 

“Shit,” Beca thought to herself.  She ran a hand through her hair and exhaled.

 

Chloe, getting the message -- and secretly loving the fact that she was having this effect on Beca -- stepped back, right in time to reach around Beca and grab the drinks the bartender set before them.  She was halfway to their friends before Beca caught up. 

 

Aubrey and Stacie glanced up when Chloe appeared at the table, drinks in hand, and Beca bringing up the rear. 

 

“Hey, Bec,” said Aubrey.  “Great set.” 

 

“Yeah,” said Stacie, standing directly in front of Beca.  “It was hot, Bec.” 

 

Beca gaped at the tall stranger before her, her ample chest right in Beca’s line of sight making it difficult to look elsewhere. 

 

Chloe rolled her eyes and laughed as she handed Stacie her drink.  “Beca, this is my best friend, Stacie.”

 

“Hey Beca,” Stacie said, taking a sip of her drink.  “I've heard a lot ...and I do mean a lot...about you.” 

 

“Thanks...I think.  It’s nice to meet one of Chloe’s friends.  Do you guys know each other from church or --”

 

Laughs from the other three cut Beca’s question short.  She looked at them, puzzled, like she completely missed the punchline of their joke. 

 

“Oh, Beca,” said Stacie, placing a hand on her shoulder and running it down Beca’s arm.  “I think you’ll learn I’m like…” she thought for a moment, considering her words, “...the anti-Chloe.” 

 

Beca raised an eyebrow.  “That’s...interesting. And a little scary,” she said, chuckling, as she sat down in the booth, next to Chloe.  “So, how do you two, um, know each other?” 

 

“What you really want to ask is, where does the saint meet the sinner?”  

 

“Ooookay.” 

 

“College.”

 

“Of course,” Aubrey chimed in.  “That’s where I met this one,” she said, flicking a straw paper in Beca’s direction. 

 

“And think about how boring your life would be without me. You thank God everyd--”  Beca looked up at Chloe, guilty. “Sorry, Chloe. I mean…” 

 

“Beca, you have to stop apologizing. It’s OK,” Chloe reassured, placing her hand over Beca’s. 

 

“Yeah, Beca.  She lives with me and she hasn’t burst into flames yet, so I think you’re fine,” Stacie assured.   

 

“I know.  I’m just trying to be, you know, considerate,” she said as she fiddled with a straw paper.  

 

Hoping to break some of the awkwardness that settled over the table, Chloe got up and grabbed her drink.  “Let’s dance!” 

 

“Good idea,” said Aubrey, following Chloe out of the booth.  

 

It was then that Stacie leaned in to Beca.  “Seriously, just be you. Don’t worry about the rest.  Now, go dance,” she said, shoving Beca out of the booth. “Just not too close.  Remember to leave room for the Holy Spirit.” 

 

Stacie’s words stunned Beca into silence until Stacie unleashed a seemingly uncontrollable laugh that made Chloe and Aubrey stop in their tracks.  

 

“Stacie!”  Chloe chided as she made her way back to Beca.  “Ignore her,” she said. “C’mon.” 

 

The quartet made their way out of the VIP section and past Pauly.  He gave Beca a high-five and the other three a polite head nod as he unhooked the velvet rope to allow them to pass. 

 

Once on the dance floor, the girls danced together, Aubrey laughing when she realized that Beca had mashed up Avicii with Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up,” and layered in “Tubthumping,” by Chumbawumba, the latter of which made the entire dance floor yell out, “I get knocked down, but I get up again. You’re never gonna keep me down.”  

 

Beca’s playlist then took a decidedly different direction, changing the entire mood of the club from rowdy to intimate and angsty.  It surprised even her when the opening notes of a stripped down version of the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “Maps” came through the speakers, and suddenly, everything else fell away.  

 

There was only Chloe. 

 

Chloe, who she’d pulled tight -- and held tight -- against her.  Chloe, who had her fingers tangled in the hair at Beca’s nape, her slow scratches and scrapes making Beca’s stomach feel like it might bottom out right there on the dance floor. Chloe, who was so close, Beca swore she could almost feel the woman’s heart beat against her own rib cage, as if it were knocking, begging to get inside.  

 

Beca was always, always sober during her DJ gigs, preferring to be clear-headed but, right now, she felt drunk and unsteady.  She knew her face was flushed. Her breaths were shallow, and she barely registered when her hands dropped to Chloe’s hips. Later, she’d only remember the feeling of denim on her palms and the gentle curves of Chloe’s body right below the waistline of her low-slung jeans.  

 

When she blinked to try and clear her head, to get control of her...everything...she found herself staring into saturated blue eyes and felt sweat forming where their foreheads were pressed together.  Chloe had only to move a fraction of a millimeter closer and they would have been kissing. Beca waited, but Chloe was still, almost as if she were frozen in place. It took all of Beca’s strength not to be the one to surge forward, to pin Chloe against the nearest wall, and grip her thigh to lift it and wrap it around her waist.  

 

It was almost as if Chloe could read her thoughts, because she finally pushed forward, closer against Beca, brushing their lips together.  It wasn’t a kiss by any definition -- it was better. A fleeting taste. A tease. A temptation that left them each wanting more. There was something so...seductive and alluring and just downright beautiful about getting lost together in a haze of restraint and resistance.  

 

Suddenly, the whole Adam and Eve thing made a lot more sense to Beca, who didn’t immediately notice when Chloe fisted the front of her shirt and pushed her back, giving her room to drop her head to Beca’s shoulder.  

 

“Jesus Christ,”  Chloe breathed out with what sounded like the last bit of breath in her lungs. 

 

It surprised Beca, who wasn’t sure if it was a plea for help or a prayer of thanks.  Rather than question it, she put her hands over Chloe’s to pry herself free, but Chloe only tugged her closer again and whispered against her lips, “Stay with me tonight. Please.” Her eyes searched Beca’s face, desperate for any immediate reaction, but Beca was too stunned by it all to say much of anything.  Instead, she just swallowed hard and nodded. 

 

Her eyes connected with Aubrey’s in the crowd, who was seemingly acting as a wing-woman for Stacie, pointed to Chloe and then to the exit. 

 

Aubrey, looking confused, pulled Stacie away from that evening’s potential conquest and motioned for Beca to come over to them. 

 

“Hang on,”  she said to Chloe, withdrawing the arm that was curled around her waist.  “I just 

need to to talk to Aubrey for a sec. I’ll be right back.” 

 

“Beca,” Aubrey chastised as Beca approached.

 

“Aubrey, she asked me to leave with her. Not the other way around,” Beca said as she looked between Aubrey and Stacie and then watched as they exchanged glances. 

 

Stacie was the next to speak, looking at Aubrey. “Chloe’s a big girl.  She knows what she’s doing. For the most part.” Her glance shifted to Beca.  “It all comes down to faith with her. Go slow and God help me, don’t hurt her.” 

 

Beca nodded and noticed Stacie looking over her head at Chloe as if to make certain she was OK.  

 

“We’re, um, going back to your place, Stacie.”

 

“Does that mean I need to find somewhere else to stay? Because I bet he has a nice apartment,” Stacie said, eyeing a well muscled guy at the bar. “C’mon, Aubrey.  Behave, Beca.”

 

Beca rolled her eyes and made her way back to Chloe, who was standing near the club’s entrance, checking her phone. She paused to drink her all in and at once felt incredibly guilty and insanely giddy about the possibility that the rest of the evening held them.   

 

“Hi,” Beca said sliding her hand across the small of Chloe's back. “You ready?”

 

Chloe looked up at Beca.  “Yes…” and then bit her lip.  “And no.” 

 

“It’s OK, Chlo.  Nothing has to happen.” 

 

“Yeah, OK,” Chloe said as she tucked herself into Beca’s side.

 

“Good. My car is around back.  Just give the driver your address.” 

 

“The driver?”  Chloe questioned as they approached a Land Rover with tinted windows.  The driver flashed his lights and unlocked the doors when he saw Beca, jumping out to help her in.

 

“Yeah, the club gives me a driver so I don’t have to worry about lugging my own equipment, or if I have a few drinks.”  

 

Beca then turned to a young man in skinny jeans and a faded t-shirt.  “What’s up, Eric? This is Chloe.”

 

“Hey, Beca.  Nice to meet you, Chloe,” he said before shutting the door and hopping back into the driver’s seat.  “Where to, ladies?” 

 

“Um, the corner of Varick and Franklin, please,” said Chloe.

 

“Sure thing.” 

 

Eric started driving south and Chloe realized that the words leaving her mouth made this all the more real.  Beca was going home with her. Anything could happen. Anything she wanted, but she wasn’t really sure what she wanted. Or rather, what she wanted more.  

 

XxxX

 

Chloe kept her hand wound around Beca’s as they rode up in the elevator to the ninth floor.  Whenever she got nervous and tightened her grip, Beca squeezed back her reassurance. 

 

She waited patiently as Chloe unlocked the apartment door and let her inside.  

 

“Have a seat,” Chloe said.  “Anything to drink?” 

 

“Water would be great,” Beca said as she sunk into Chloe’s couch. “I definitely don’t drink enough while I’m DJ-ing. I mean, it’s not like I’m running a marathon, but I still work up a sweat.” 

 

Chloe emerged from the kitchen with a bottle of water.  “I’m sure,” she said, handing it to Beca. “It’s definitely more physical than I thought.”

 

Beca smirked.  She was tempted to ask Chloe whether she was merely listening to the music at the club or if she was more preoccupied with the DJ, but she resisted, not wanting to put her on the spot. 

 

Instead, she popped the cap and took a long swing of water, knowing all the while that Chloe was standing in front of her, eyeing her -- watching the way her lips pursed, the way the muscles in her neck tightened as she swallowed, and the way her fingers curled around the plastic.  

 

When Beca was through, she leaned forward and reached around Chloe to set the bottle on the coffee table.  “C’mere,” she said quietly to Chloe, taking her hands to pull her down on to the couch. 

 

She was surprised when Chloe shook her head “no,” and tugged back, bringing Beca to her feet and leading her down the hallway to her bedroom.   “I don’t feel like dealing with Stacie’s comments,” she said. 

 

Beca nodded. “I get it, but the way she was eyeing that dude by the bar, I don’t think she’s coming home tonight.” 

 

Once they were in the bedroom, door closed, Beca spotted over Chloe’s shoulder an iPhone dock on the nightstand. “May I?” she asked holding up her phone.

 

“Sure, I’m just going to --” she hiked her thumb behind her in the direction of what Beca guessed was the bathroom.  

 

“Yep,” Beca said, already settling on the bed and scrolling through a playlist.  

 

She was still absorbed in her phone, “She Burns” by Foy Vance floating through the room, when Chloe emerged, dressed in a pair of striped boy shorts and a fitted pink t-shirt. 

 

Beca looked up when she heard the bathroom door close, and Chloe immediately felt the weight of her stare, mistaking desire for distaste. “You probably like something with a little more lace, but this is all I have.  For now, anyway.” 

 

“Chloe,” Beca felt her palms sweating and her arms twitching, wanting to shoot out from her sides and wrap Chloe up. She sat on her hands to still them.  “You have no idea how incredibly sexy you look right now, do you?” she asked. 

 

“You don’t have to say that, Beca.” 

 

“You’re right. I don’t.  But I wanted you to know,” Beca said, taking Chloe’s hands and scooting backwards on the bed toward the headboard, pulling Chloe to straddle her hips. “So I’ll tell you everyday until you believe me. And then, I’ll keep on telling you just because you deserve to hear it.” 

 

There was no hiding that Chloe was turned on by a sweet, earnest Beca. Her pupils were blown, taking nearly all of the blue with them, and the thin cotton of her shorts easily betrayed how wet she was.  Beca could even feel it through her jeans.

 

She wanted to encourage Chloe to grind down.  She wanted -- oh God, she wanted -- to slip the material of Chloe’s boy shorts aside and gently, lovingly explore the soft contours hidden away between her muscular thighs, but she convinced herself that what was happening in that moment was just as good. 

 

Beca loved the feel of Chloe’s weight on her, loved the way Chloe leaned forward -- her hair curtaining them in the faint smell of citrus, arms on either side of Beca’s head -- as Beca slipped her hands up under her shirt, palms just skimming the smooth skin of Chloe’s lower back.

 

When Chloe trembled, Beca gently rolled them both onto their sides, face to face, finding the edge of the covers and burying them both beneath pure white. 

 

Chloe tangled her legs with Beca’s, jutting her hips out to shift closer, but Beca placed a hand on her chest to stop her while she reached down to shimmy out of her jeans.  

 

“I want to feel you,” she whispered against Chloe’s cheek.  And it was Beca who curved a hand over Chloe’s hip to tug her into her body.  “Better?” 

 

Chloe bit her lip and leaned into Beca’s other hand, which emerged from the pillows underneath their heads to move a strand of red away from her eyes.  It was then that Chloe turned to kiss Beca’s palm.

 

Their breaths were ragged as Beca continued to reach, threading her fingers through Chloe’s hair, softly scratching her scalp, relaxing her and pushing her gently to lay on her back.  

 

Chloe wanted to close her eyes, but she couldn’t look away from Beca.  She couldn’t stop watching as Beca’s lips brushed her mouth, her neck, down solid shoulders and across her freckled chest, but never landing an actual kiss.  The feel of Beca's breath on her skin flooded her with goosebumps and made tiny hairs stand on end -- she swore she could feel every single one.

 

It was a long time since Chloe had been in bed with anyone, but she didn’t remember it being at all this soft, slow and graceful, like a ballet.  Maybe because those times, few as they were, weren’t with a woman. Maybe because they weren’t with Beca. 

 

She exhaled and rolled back toward Beca, hooking her leg over the woman’s hip.  As Beca continued to nuzzle at Chloe, she trailed her fingers down a firm thigh to Chloe’s knee, lifting it, effectively repositioning Chloe’s center against her stomach. 

 

Chloe felt Beca smile against her skin, not sure whether she did it on purpose, or was simply benefitting from the new position. Her first instinct was to pull away, to drop her leg from where it rested on Beca and recoil.  But she couldn’t ignore how much pleasure Beca was taking in her body. She’d barely done anything except put on a pair of boyshorts that, OK, she knew hugged her ass, and she had Beca at her mercy -- respectfully, but still at her mercy.  

 

Her restraint, her self-control felt like they were pushing at seams of her skin, threatening to burst.  She always envisioned the embodiment of temptation as ugly and crass. But here it was, this beautiful creature with soft hair and honorable, honest blue eyes, on top of her, touching and caressing her, wanting so badly to love her, to make love to her.  And Chloe wanted so badly to just give in.

 

The urge was so great that it surged through her arms like electricity, gripping Beca's shoulders and gently but firmly pushing her away, though never letting her go.

 

For all their pulling and tugging toward one another the sudden distance, even though only inches felt like light years to Beca.  She looked at Chloe with a question in her eyes, but she already knew the answer.

 

“If we keep going,” said Chloe, her thumb caressing Beca's face, reassuring, “I'm not going to be able to stop.”

 

Beca dropped her head to Chloe's shoulder, her breathing was still heavy and uneven, but she was otherwise silent.

 

The worry was evident in Chloe's face.  “Are you mad?”

 

Beca rolled onto her back, her shirt wrinkled and bunched from where Chloe had fisted it earlier at the club.  “No. Of course not. Not at all,” she said running her hands through her hair. “Just a little, um, keyed up.”

 

Chloe curled into Beca, placing her head on Beca's chest.  “I know. I'm sorry. I feel like a tease.”

 

“You're not.  You're absolutely not.  I never thought that for a second,”  Beca said, lightly dragging her fingernails across the tender skin on the back of Chloe's neck. “I knew full well what I was getting into, Chloe, and I went willingly...because you're so worth it.  So worth the wait.”

 

Beca felt Chloe bury her face in her shirt, her breath hitching, almost as if she were sobbing.  Her head was bowed, allowing Beca to place a kisses across her hairline, and drawing from her a content moan.

 

It was then that Chloe looked up at Beca, eyes pleading, “Promise you won't leave.”

 

“Promise,” said Beca, still caressing Chloe's neck.

 

She lay awake, staring at the ceiling long after Chloe fell asleep, trying to decide if this was heaven...or hell. 


	5. Penance

Chloe eyes fluttered against the light streaming into her windows and she smiled when she felt a weight pressed into her side and a hand caressing her cheek.

There, hovering over her, was Beca. Beca who’d stayed the night -- just as she promised -- and was looking at her with utmost reverence on her face. It immediately allayed any of her fears from last night because despite what Beca said -- that Chloe wasn’t a tease. That Chloe didn’t lead her on -- she still felt like she was and she did.

“Hey,” Beca said, and Chloe swooned at the sleepy rasp that still lingered in her voice. “Sleep well?”

“Better than I have in a long time, yeah,” Chloe said, placing her hand over Beca’s that rested on her cheek.

“And you’re OK? You know, after last night?

Chloe nodded against the pillow and smiled when she felt Beca's hand drop out from under hers and slip under her shirt, just above the waistband of her shorts, urging her closer by the small of her back.

Beca’s palm was warm, a heat that only increased as she rubbed small circles into Chloe's skin, and Chloe let herself be moved in every sense by the care Beca seemed to take with her, physically and emotionally.

“Good, I’m glad.” Beca said as she nuzzled into Chloe’s hair and trailed her nose over her ear, across her jaw and down her neck.

Chloe loved the feel of Beca’s soft, barely there lips sucking gently at her skin. She tipped her chin up and exhaled heavily, hoping the hard breath would disguise the twinge of arousal that crackled through her body.

But the beautiful bubble that Chloe thought they were in seemed to burst in the next instant when Beca, with one last gentle kiss to Chloe’s neck, announced panting lightly, “I hate to do this, but I have to leave for a bit.”

Chloe could only groan in response.

“I know. I don't want to go either, Chlo,” the nickname making Chloe's stomach swoop and tighten, “especially not when you look so kissable,” Beca continued, “but Aubrey texted and needs me in the office. But maybe we can do something later.”

Chloe really didn't want Beca to go. If it were up to her, they'd spend all day together in bed, dozing, laughing, touching. Afterall, when she thought about being with someone, that’s always how she’d imagined it. But having Beca here, getting lost in her soft caresses and gentle, innocent teasing, also disguised an ugly secret that Chloe didn’t want to face: the guilt that was slowly suffocating her like quick sand.

She knew she had to let Beca go, and she told herself it would give her something to look forward to, even though she knew once Beca walked away, she would only see shame. Then, Beca leaned down to place a chaste kiss -- albeit one that was full of affection -- on her mouth, and it took all of Chloe's willpower not to pull her back down into bed and declare Beca her new religion.

She touched her fingertips to her lips, still able to feel, taste Beca on them. Shifting to her side, she propped her head on her hand, watching as the other woman stepped into her jeans and picked up her phone from the nightstand. “I’ll call you later.”

In response, Chloe raised an eyebrow at the cliched line as if to say, “You sure about that?”

Beca smirked back, feeling the full force of Chloe’s (unfounded) skepticism. “Believe me when I tell you, I always finish what I start.”

“And what did we start?” Chloe asked, challenging.

“I’d like to think it’s something,” Beca said. “If you’d like it to be, that is.”

Chloe bit her lip in an effort to hold back a smile.

Beca turned back toward the bed, kneeling on the mattress with one leg and letting the other be the force she needed to topple Chloe onto her back, pressing her into the mattress and kissing her soundly.

The pressure on her mouth pulled a deep, low moan from Chloe, and Beca took advantage of her slightly parted lips to let her tongue taste Chloe gently, caress softly and tease playfully.

Well past the point of needing to break the kiss for necessary air, Beca pulled back slightly from Chloe, both breathing heavily, chests heaving. Beca couldn't help but be leveled by Chloe's swollen lips and the flush in her face. She looked utterly disheveled and completely beautiful.

With a third and final kiss -- this one a quick peck -- Beca exited the bedroom, leaving Chloe a panting, turned-on, wanting-more mess in her wake. Truth be told, Beca didn't fare much better, but she hoped work might take her mind off of the near constant throbbing...in her chest and between her legs.

Meanwhile, Chloe laid back in bed, flinging her arm over her eyes, hoping and waiting for Beca to come rushing back into her room, but when 15 minutes, half an hour passed she knew she'd have to find it in her to get up and face the day, to occupy her time with things that didn't remind her of Beca.

As she moved her arm again, she felt her hand graze soft fabric hanging off the headboard. Chloe gave it a yank and it fell near her shoulder. Beca's hoodie, the one she'd given to Chloe earlier that week when they went for a walk around the fountain, filled her nose with the familiar scent that she’d come to associate with only Beca -- one that had always been pleasant, but that she now relished for the warm, comforting feeling it gave her and the way it seemed to set off a swell of emotion within her.

She moved the hoodie to the floor and groaned, unable to bear the burden of her feelings any longer. She knew she should pray for guidance but hands that should have been folded together in obedience, submission, even repentance, were otherwise occupied.

As she realized what she was about to do, she paused, her right hand just barely skimming the waistband of her boy shorts -- the ones Beca thought looked so sexy. She flashed back to that feeling of being the object of Beca's gaze, what it felt like to sit astride Beca and to have Beca's hands on her body.

It made her blush. It made her wet. It made her throb.

She arched her back as her fingers made contact with her clit and then easily slid to her slit, feeling the moisture that had quickly collected there.

She rubbed the wetness between her fingers and then back over her clit, enjoying the way they glided across sensitive flesh, loving the feel of her pussy swelling under her constant touch.

It had been so long since she’d done this that she’d almost forgotten how good it felt, how much she loved to be touched. But what really surprised her was how much she wished it was Beca touching her.

She spread her legs further and parted her pussy lips with two fingers so that she could slide them along either side of her clit. Every squeeze sent rolling waves of pleasure through her body and she couldn't help the deep sigh of contentment that escaped her.

Needing more friction, she rolled onto her stomach, her hand under her, still teasing her clit as she pressed her hips against the mattress, rocking against her fingers.

Her face was buried in her pillow, muffling the increasing pace and volume of the groans that escaped her. She should have been embarrassed, but she knew Stacie wasn’t home and, even if she were, she’d probably be proud that Chloe was taking matters into her own hands.

Literally.

The pressure building between her legs was nearly unbearable, but touching herself this way, after so long, felt so good that she almost didn’t want to climax. She squeezed her thighs together and let her pussy pulse, hard and fast, against her fingers like a heartbeat.

She continued to rub herself to the point that it felt like she might come and then she’d stop, relishing the way her fingers slipped over her pussy lips and dipped into her slit, then back up to her increasingly hard clit to start the pattern all over again.

She grew so wet that her fingers just seemed to slip inside with no effort, no warning and she let out an almost primal growl at how good it felt to be filled like that, to fuck herself like that. But the angle was all wrong and she knew she couldn’t get deep enough to come.

It felt so, so dirty and so, so good to get on her knees and spread her legs, her head heavy on her arm, which rested against the headboard. She looked down and watched two fingers scissor and roll her red, swollen clit before disappearing inside herself, amping up her arousal to a level that made Chloe shudder and her legs quiver with both the anticipation and the strength of her impending orgasm -- her first one in nearly a decade.

Her fingers thrust in and out, in time with the rock of her hips, and she there was no disguising how wet she was. The sound alone spurred her on. She wanted Beca to be there, between her legs, to witness how much Chloe wanted her. To feel it. Taste it.

Oh god, the thought of Beca’s tongue in her pussy, sucking on her clit, sent an involuntary shiver up Chloe’s spine that made her torso buckle, nearly folding her in half from the pleasure coursing through her entire body. All at once, she curled her fingers, hitting her g-spot and her thumb pressed into her clit, manipulating it as she rode her fingers. It wasn’t long before she could no longer control her hips, which jerking frantically, absorbing the shock of her climax.

She moaned Beca’s name as she came -- first a quick jolt followed by a much longer, drawn out orgasm that pounded through her body like ocean waves in a storm, a short burst of warm liquid coating her fingers.

Once she’d stroked herself down, she felt her back and shoulders relax and her breathing return to normal. Her forehead where it was pressed against her arm on the headboard was sweaty. She collapsed onto the bed, dropping her head onto the pillow to wipe the thin sheen away, her hips still rutting into the mattress with aftershocks. She was tempted to call Beca, to confess what she’d just done, all in great detail, all because of her, because of the feelings she had for her.

Instead, she found herself at church no more than an hour later, shutting the door of the enclosed cubicle behind her, kneeling and crossing herself. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been a week since my last confession,” she said through the screen.

XxxX

Chloe spent the rest of Saturday in church. Head bowed, hands folded, she knelt saying her penance from the priest. And she stewed, guilty because she knew she should be feeling worse about what she’d done that morning. She knew she should stop thinking about it, especially while she was in the house of God, but she just kept replaying the moment over and over, growing more angry with herself for denying her body that pleasure for so long. That feeling of ire rapidly overtook any culpability she knew she should been feeling for pleasuring herself, not just because she masturbated but because she allowed herself to be loved, and by another woman at that.

As Chloe repented, her phone sat in her bag, untouched. Since it was hard to get closer to God and fully meditate on the sins she’d committed with her phone pumping out “Bulletproof” everytime she got a call or text, she put it on mute when she began to ask for absolution.

But her request for forgiveness turned into a plea for clarity. For answers to questions about her sexuality and, specifically, what to do about her attraction to Beca. She prayed for a sign that would provide her with some direction, a signal that she should put an end to all of this.

The hours went by and the pins and needles in her legs gave way to a growing numbness that, when no answer seemed to come, made its way to her heart. It was one of the first times, maybe the only time, she could remember God and her devotion to her religion failing her.

If she’d been looking hard enough, though, she probably would have seen it -- absence of a sign was the sign. But she missed it, much as she missed all of the calls and texts from Beca throughout the day, asking to see her (a second sign) and growing increasingly worried.

Instead, she got herself home, feeling worse than when she left (probably a third sign) and threw herself into bed -- the same bed that she shared with Beca, the same one that made her feel so incredibly good that morning had betrayed her, offering absolutely no comfort. Speaking of comfort, she again thought about calling Beca, if for no other reason than to take her mind off things, but she couldn’t risk succumbing to her intensifying want for the woman.

As she stared at the ceiling, another series of calls and texts from the very object of her growing affection and dissolution, went unnoticed and unanswered.

On the other end of the line, Beca absentmindedly bit at the skin around her fingernail, wondering and starting to flat out worry about Chloe.

Chloe told Beca she usually went to confession around 2 p.m. on Saturdays, but it was already nearly 9 p.m., and there had been nary a word from her. At first, she thought that perhaps Chloe was ghosting her. After all, that spark plug stunt she pulled a few days ago wasn’t so cute in hindsight. Then, she thought about their night together last night, remembering the deep want in Chloe’s eyes and the soft rock of her hips, and Beca knew that wasn’t it at all. She started to wonder if the simple act of sharing the same bed, doing no more than holding each other, not even kissing, was more verboten than Chloe let on.

And dammit if she wasn’t feeling some residual Catholic guilt.

“God, that shit is strong,” she said to no one in particular, bemoaning the fact that her attraction to Chloe was probably the reason that poor woman had to spend the afternoon, arms out at her sides, palms up, holding a Bible in each hand until she could no longer support the weight, or kneeling on peas, or some other antiquated form of mild torture that was passed off as repentance cloaked in some abomination of devotion and reverence.

Beca was about to call Stacie for help, but figured with the time and it being Saturday night, Chloe’s sex-starved roommate was probably out (or in) with her latest conquest. After some careful contemplation about what that might entail, she decided that she didn’t want to potentially interrupt the live version of the Kama Sutra. She was sure that even she was too virginal for some of the things she figured Stacie might be into.

Instead, she came up with another plan.

XxxX

Chloe should have been back from Sunday services nearly two hours ago, Beca figured. The coffees next to her on the ground had gone cold and she was pretty sure the warm, freshly made bagels she’d picked up on the way were now rock hard.

She sighed and gathered up the take-out bags around her, figuring that she’d just keep trying to reach Chloe through voicemail or text until she just had to accept that Chloe didn't like her and didn't want to see her.

As the elevator doors opened and she stepped in, she was hit squarely by a pair of voluptuous --

“Shit! Stacie, I’m sorry,” Beca said as the impact of her collision with Stacie’s chest sent her back a few paces.

“Beca, what are you doing here?” Stacie asked, reaching out to steady her.

“I’ve, uh, been waiting for Chloe. Have you seen her or heard from her?”

“Well, I haven’t exactly been paying attention to my phone. Is everything OK?” She jerked her head in the direction of her and Chloe’s apartment, motioning for Beca to follow.

“I don’t really know. I haven’t been able to get in touch with her.”

Stacie unlocked the apartment door and threw her bag against the wall with Beca not far behind. “Is that coffee?”

“Yeah,” Beca said, trailing her into the kitchen, “but --”

“Just what I need. Thank you.” Stacie put the cup to her lips, taking a sip and immediately spitting it into the sink. “It’s cold.”

“Well, I ordered it nearly two hours ago.”

“You’ve been skulking around my apartment for two hours?”

“I was waiting for Chloe.” Beca put the bags on the counter.

“Beca, I know you and Chloe just met, but if you know anything at all about her then you know that it's Sunday and she's at church,” Stacie said as she opened the fridge in search of breakfast.

“I know. Though to be fair, Chloe goes to church everyday, sooo --”

“Right, but that’s all like pre-gaming for Sunday.”

“I know, but I thought she said services usually end at 10, so she should have been back at 11 at the latest. It's now nearly noon and no sign of her.” Beca pulled out a stool at the kitchen island to sit.

“Well…” There was a pause that suggested maybe Stacie knew more than she was letting on. “Maybe she went to 11:30 mass and you just missed her.”

Beca’s eyes narrowed. “Stacie, what are you hiding? Are you why she didn’t respond to any of my voicemails or texts yesterday, either?”

That caught Stacie’s attention and her head snapped up from where she was squeezing a grapefruit in the crisper drawer. “She didn’t respond to you? That’s...odd.”

“Well, look who just caught up.”

“Hey, I'm still having aftershocks. Be gentle, because God knows he wasn't,” Stacie said, winking suggestively.

Beca scrunched up her nose. “Gross, Stace.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Aren't you worried about her?”

“Yes, but not for the reason you think.”

“Cryptic and not helpful.”

Stacie only smiled in response and reached for the coffee pot.

“Seriously though. Do you think she's avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?”

I'm putting on some coffee. Fresh, hot coffee,” she glared at Beca. “Then, we should talk.”


	6. Gospel Truths

As Beca settled into the couch, she couldn’t help but fidget a little.  She wasn’t sure if she was getting the “best friend” talk -- which she could totally handle -- or if something even more threatening awaited her.

  
It wasn’t long before Stacie sunk down next to Beca with two cups of hot coffee, handing one to her.  

 

Beca wrapped her hands around it and relished the warmth.  “So,” she said before taking a sip. 

 

“So,” Stacie responded.  

 

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them before Beca spoke up.  “Stace, you’re killing me here.” 

 

“Sorry, I’m not trying to stall.  I guess i’m just trying to figure out where to start.”   
  


“How about at the beginning?” 

 

“Does Chloe know how much of a wise ass you are?”

 

“I don’t know, but wise ass or not, I need to know what’s going on.  Like, am I totally wasting my time here?”

 

Stacie hurriedly swallowed and set the cup down on the coffee table in front of her.  “No, Beca,” she rushed out. “Not at all. You’re absolutely not wasting your time. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but any time spent with Chloe Beale is well spent.  I promise.” 

 

“OK,” Beca said reluctantly.  “You realize that clarified all of nothing, right?”

 

“I’m getting there.  Patience, grasshopper,” Stacie said as she patted Beca’s leg. 

 

“Let’s see.  Well, you know Chloe and I went to college together, right?”    
  
Beca nodded.  

 

“Her brother Charlie was a senior when we were sophomores…”

 

“I didn’t know Chloe had a brother.”

 

“Oh yeah, they were incredibly close.” 

 

_ Were.  _

 

Beca swallowed hard at Stacie’s use of past tense and didn’t really believe her own rationalizing.  Maybe Stacie just slipped up or Charlie and Chloe had some sort of falling out. She forced a light tone when she responded.  “Funny, I don’t recall her mentioning him, even when I told her I had a step-brother.” 

 

“I’ll get there.  It will all make sense in just a minute.” 

 

“OK,” Beca acquiesced because what else could she do?

 

Stacie hummed, as if she could sense Beca’s patience starting to wear thin. “It was January 20th, and we had tickets for Rihanna that night.  God, Chloe was so excited. I think the only other time I’ve ever seen her that excited was this past Tuesday night.”

 

Beca’s eyes flicked up from where she was staring into her cup of coffee to Stacie.  “What, uh, what happened Tuesday night?” 

 

“She met you.” 

 

“Me?”

 

“Yep,” she said with a smirk, before realizing the solemn task ahead of her.  “Anyway, it had snowed all day leading up to the concert and I was so certain they were going to cancel it, but for whatever reason, they didn’t.  And Chloe...well, not going just wasn’t an option for her. 

  
Busses weren’t running and she called all over town trying to get a taxi, but no one was willing to drive us.  She was devastated.”   
  


“Big Rihanna fan was she?” 

 

Stacie nodded and reached for her coffee.  Beca got the impression she was trying to stall. Or at least find it in her to finish this story.  She couldn’t help the way her nerves sparked and the way her stomach twisted as she waited. But she waited.  Because Stacie’s demeanor had completely shifted to a shell of her usual flirty self. She was quiet and serious -- almost somber.  This clearly wasn’t a story to rush anyone into re-telling. 

 

After taking a sip, Stacie continued.  “Anyway, she called Charlie to beg him to let us take his car, and like a good brother he refused.  But he hated to see Chloe unhappy. All of us did really. It’s like she pouts and you expect to hear a Sarah McLaughlin song in the background and someone asking for $19 dollars a month just to make her smile again. That’s how depressing it is.  

 

“Uh, wow.” 

 

“You’ve been warned.” 

 

“Noted.” 

 

“So, still trying to be a good big brother, Charlie offered to drive us instead, and of course Chloe jumped on his suggestion immediately.  She was giddy the whole way there. We made it to the arena, no problem. The snow had let up and the roads were completely passable.” 

 

Beca could feel her palms starting to sweat and a sick feeling rise up in her stomach.  It was like she could almost sense the sour turn this story would take. 

 

“When the concert ended though, it was a totally different story.  The snow started up again and once we got out of the city and onto the highway, we could barely see the car’s tail lights in front of us.

 

“It was nerve-wracking to say the least, but Chloe used to say there wasn’t anything Charlie couldn’t do and truth be told, he was great driver, even in those conditions.

 

“When we got off the highway on our exit, I think we all heaved a sigh of relief.  That is until we were about three miles from the dorms.” 

 

Stacie’s eyes started to water and she bit her lip to try and hold back her tears, which fell anyway, darkening the grey of her sweatpants.  

  
Beca could do little in the way of offering comfort.  She was never good at that sort of thing. The best she could muster was a stiff, unsure hand on Stacie’s shoulder.  But even that little gesture seemed to give Stacie the resolve she needed to continue. Either that, or Beca’s touch made her so uncomfortable that the preferable option was to continue on with this story that, while Beca wasn’t sure how it ended, she knew for certain it wasn’t going to end well. 

 

In any case, Stacie took a deep, but shaky breath and continued on, eyes closed.  “We approached the intersection. Charlie was doing the right thing, going slow, even though we had the green light and then, there was this flash of light and the sickening gnashing of metal against metal.”

 

Beca tried to hold back her gasp, but she was pretty sure it slipped out anyway.  Stacie wiped at her tears with the palms of her hands. 

 

“The next thing I know, I woke up in the hospital, Chloe in the bed next to me, still out of it.  I remember her parents standing over her bed, sobbing, and I really thought she died, but --”

 

“It was Charlie,” Beca said softly.  “Charlie died.” 

 

“Yeah. Yeah, he did.  On impact. The other driver was going too fast.  He couldn’t stop on the ice even though he had a red light and he slid right into us.  Into...into Charlie.

 

“When Chloe was released from the hospital about two weeks later, she was just inconsolable.  Her parents tried everything. Therapist. Grief counselor. A support group of other people dealing with survivor’s guilt. But nothing seemed to help...” 

 

Beca found herself tearing up.  She didn’t know Charlie at all, didn’t know he even existed. Hell, she barely even knew Chloe, but she knew Charlie must have been something special if she was so attached to him.

 

“She’d disappear for long stretches, and no one ever knew where she went.  It turns out, she would go to the school’s chapel. She said it was because it was quiet and no one bothered her.  She could just be alone and think and hurt and whatever else she needed to do to process that Charlie -- her brother, her protector, her best friend -- was really gone.  Forever. But I think she needed to find a way to forgive herself and she thought religion might help release her from all the guilt she felt.

 

“Did it?” 

 

“I don’t know.  You’d have to ask her. What I do know is that it slowly brought her out of her grief, but she was just never the same Chloe.” 

 

Beca raised an eyebrow in question, and Stacie smiled a tight smile.  She wondered if she should even fill Beca’s head with stories of the “old” Chloe.  Why ruin a good thing? But she thought Beca deserved to know because she had a feeling Beca could help Chloe find herself again. 

 

Stacie sat back against the couch cushions as she remembered.  “Chloe just loved...loves music, but that night...it changed how she thought of it.  How she thought of everything really.”   
  


“How so?”

 

“Chloe was thoughtful and responsible, but carefree.  Never let anything get her down. She was always up for a good time.  And she was so affectionate. Like, she loved everyone and never hesitated to give out hugs like they were air.”  

 

“I still see all that in her.” 

 

“A bit, yeah.  But I think she lost most of it or gave it up maybe, I’m not sure, for the only thing that brought her comfort.” 

 

“Church,” said Beca, catching on.

 

“Church.  Yeah. Religion.  And then she met you and I think she really likes you, Beca, but I don’t know if she knows how to reconcile those feelings, or her sexuality in general, really, with her religious beliefs.  Or if she feels she’s even capable of doing that.  It’s a vicious cycle.  She keeps hanging on to the thing that’s potentially standing in the way of her happiness to try and figure out how to be happy.”

 

“That’s…”  Beca couldn’t find the word for it -- it was tragic and depressing and frightening and a little admirable all at the same time -- but it didn’t matter.  What mattered was that she finally had some clarity and insight into Chloe’s head. 

 

“So, now you maybe understand a bit better about why Chloe’s so skittish.” 

 

“I do, but I don’t really know what to do about it. I don't want to be the one to convince her to walk away from her beliefs.” 

 

“Do you like her?” 

 

“Yeah, I mean, I like what I know so far.  It’s enough to make me want to know more.” 

 

“Good, so just go slow and make sure she knows she can trust you.  That you don’t just want to get in her pants.” 

 

Beca thought back to the other night -- how amazing it felt to be so close to Chloe.  How she wanted to do more. How she knew  _ Chloe  _ wanted to do more.  And how they both stopped themselves. For Beca, it was like pushing back against a cement wall that was slowly closing in on her, backing her into another cement wall.  To be honest, she wasn’t sure how long she could keep that up, but she would sure as hell try. She wanted to try for Chloe. 

 

“Unless all you want is just to get in her pants,” said Stacie. 

  
That snapped Beca out of her thoughts.  “Huh? What? No. No. Look, I’ll do...I’m willing to do whatever Chloe needs.” 

 

“Really, you can give up sex that easily?” Stacie asked, taking a sip of coffee.

 

“Well, it won’t be easy, Stacie.  I mean, have you seen Chloe?” 

 

“I have, which is why I know how tempting it probably is to get her into bed -- “   
  


“I have no problem getting girls into bed, dude.” 

 

“Well, little Beca Mitchell has a big ego,” Stacie teased.  

 

“It’s not -- no, I don’t.  I don’t have an ego. I’m just saying that if I only wanted to sleep with someone, I’m sure there would be plenty of girls out there completely willing to have a nameless, meaningless one-night stand.  But I don’t want that.” 

 

“What do you want?” 

 

“I want to get to know Chloe.  All of Chloe. At her pace.” 

 

“Right answer.  Oh, and don’t mention any of this to her.  I thought you should know, but I’m sure she’ll tell you on her own time, so act like it’s the first time you’re hearing it.”

 

“Got it.”

 

“Do that, and we won’t have any issues.” 

 

Just then the door opened.  “Issues. Issues with what?”  Chloe stopped short when she saw Beca on the couch. 

 

“Hey, Chlo.” 

 

“Beca,” Chloe sounded surprised, though not necessarily happy, to see Beca sitting on her couch.

 

“Well, I’m going to shower,” Stacie got up and excused herself as Chloe took off her coat and dropped her bag by the door.  

 

“Are you...um...waiting for me?” she asked.

 

“I was, yeah,” said Beca. “You didn’t return any of my calls or texts yesterday and I was worried about you. Are you OK?”   Her eyes searched over Chloe for any signs of distress, physical or otherwise. 

 

“I can’t believe you were worried about me,” Chloe whispered, almost in disbelief.   

 

“Of course, Chloe,” said Beca, somewhat incredulous that Chloe would think she was absolutely anything else.  She reached out and lightly grasped Chloe’s hand, flipping it gently to stroke her palm with her thumb.

 

Chloe watched wide-eyed at the clear gesture of Beca’s affection before gasping and pulling away.  “Thank you for coming, Beca but, as you can see, I’m fine.” 

 

“OK.  OK good.  That’s a relief.”  

 

When Chloe said nothing in return, Beca continued.  “I..we...talked about maybe doing something this weekend and I know it’s already Sunday and you have school tomorrow, but maybe we could grab lunch or -- ” 

 

“I’m sorry, Beca. I have a lot of reading to do for classes this week, so it’s probably better if I take a raincheck.” 

 

Without Stacie’s story, Beca would have taken this as the ultimate rejection, the easy let-down, the big, flashing neon sign that Chloe just wasn’t into Beca.  And it would have been a bitter pill to swallow, but Beca would have accepted it. 

 

Now though, after talking to Stacie, Chloe’s rebuff bounced off her. That’s not to say it didn’t sting, but Beca understood it wasn’t rooted in dislike or disinterest. In some ways, maybe that would have made it easier, honestly.  Instead, she had to fight the protest rising within her -- the impulse to shake the religion from Chloe, to stomp on her rosary beads and shatter everything they stood for. 

 

“OK, Chloe. I'm going to hold you to that because I'd really like to see you again and I'm wrapping up my work at St. Mary's, so you won't have any more eye candy at the rectory.  Unless you think Father Lewyn…”

 

She stopped and watched as Chloe tried to bite back a laugh before continuing.  “Call me. Or text me. Whatever. I don’t care. But please don't disappear like that on me again,” Beca pleaded.

 

Smile now faded, Chloe nodded.

 

“Talk to you soon,”  Beca said as she leaned into Chloe, placing a soft kiss on her cheek before leaving the apartment.

 

Chloe sat back, letting the couch cushions consume her in defeat.  Just then, Stacie came into the living room in a bathrobe. “Hey, where'd Beca go?”

 

“I sent her away,” Chloe said, barely above a whisper. It was obvious she regretted letting Beca leave, but she knew Beca was probably too far gone by the time she gained the presence of mind to run after her.

 

“Chloe,” Stacie said.  It was partially a question, to be followed by “What did you do?” And in part said in exasperation because she knew Chloe was letting Beca slip through her fingers like water.

 

Chloe waited patiently for Stacie to continue, but she never did.  Instead, she sat next to Chloe on the couch, pulling her close and burying her face in red hair.

 

“I know,” she mumbled into the top of Chloe's head, “how important church is you.  It helps you you not to feel alone. It helps you deal with...whatever. It has for a long time.” Stacie placed her hand over Chloe's. She waited and watched the tears that rolled down Chloe's cheek, landing on the back her hand. She knew the weight of those tears, swore they sounded like cymbals crashing, but she also knew she right.  She needed to say this. And Chloe, Chloe needed more than anything -- maybe even more than Beca -- to hear it. “But I can tell you're lonely, Chloe. You thrive on affection and love and closeness and you've deprived yourself of that for entirely too long.”

 

Chloe shakes her head in protest.  “I've had you and --”

 

Stacie stops her. “It's not the same, and you know it. You’re so afraid to let anyone in, and you fight so hard to resist temptation out of loyalty and obedience to your religion, but you have to ask yourself, ‘Is it getting me anywhere anymore?’  Beca is so much more than just walking, talking, tattooed desire. She wants to be more than that to you and for you, but you have to let her. She can only do so much before she starts feeling like a hamster in a wheel, expending a lot of energy, but getting nowhere.”

 

She knew she essentially provided Chloe with an ultimatum, but she wasn’t asking her to choose sides.  She only wanted her to find a balance between the two. To hang on to the best of both worlds.

 

XxxX

 

“You’re coming to Fat Amy’s party this weekend, right?” Aubrey asked as she placed a hot cup of coffee on Beca’s desk. 

 

“Hrumph,” said Beca, shrugging and barely looking up from her computer.

 

Aubrey sat down, steeling herself.  She knew from Beca’s response -- or lack thereof -- that whatever was weighing on her wasn’t going to be fun to try to coax out of her.  “I so love it when you devolve into a moody teenager. Wanna clue me in, Mitchell?” 

 

“It’s been three days and she hasn’t called or sent a text or anything,” Beca pushed herself away from the desk and rubbed her palms on her thighs.  

 

“Are we talking about Chloe or is there someone else?” 

 

“No.  Just Chloe. Only Chloe.” 

 

“Well you mentioned you had a long talk with Stacie. Was she able to shine any light?” 

 

“I mean,” Beca stood up and started to pace in front of her office window.  “She just said that I should be patient with Chloe and not push her into anything.” 

 

Aubrey sipped her coffee, her eyes following Beca’s back and forth.  “Sounds like good advice from someone who knows Chloe really well. Can you stick to it?”

 

“I don’t know.  I’ve never had this happen before.”

 

“Yes, yes, we know,” Aubrey said, suppressing a smirk.  “We’ve heard all the stories about how women just throw themselves -- and various undergarments -- at you completely unprompted.” 

 

The comment stops Beca in her tracks.  “I never said that! Some woman left her underwear in my bed once.  One time. And suddenly it’s some kind of urban legend!” 

 

“Admit it, you enjoy it.” 

 

“Well, yeah, I do.  I did.” Beca resumes pacing. “But I really want to try to make this work with Chloe.” 

 

Aubrey stood up and walked to the other side of the desk, gripping Beca’s shoulders to hold her in place.  “If that’s what you really want --” 

 

“It is.”

 

“Then I think you really need to take a step back and let her find her way through this.  She’ll come to you when she’s ready.” 

 

Just then, Beca’s phone dinged, drawing both of their attention to the device on the desk.  Aubrey picked it up, looked at the display curiously and turned it to Beca.

 

“Looks like she’s ready,” said Aubrey. 

 

“Holy shit,” Beca breathed out at the name on the display.

 

Sister Chloe.


	7. Lilith & Eve

As Beca grabbed for the phone, Aubrey pulled it back out of her reach.

“What the fu --” questioned Beca.

“This is the beginning, not the end, Beca. Just because she’s texting you doesn’t mean she’s ready to pack a U-Haul. Remember what Stacie said. Go slow. You really like this girl. Don’t fuck it up with your libido.”

Beca rolled her eyes as Aubrey tossed her the phone and left the office, closing the door behind her.

She sat, or more like, fell into her chair and tapped the message with her thumb.

**Sister Chloe [10:43 a.m.]:** I’m sorry.

**Beca [10:43 a.m.]:** You have nothing to be sorry for, Chloe.

**Beca [10:43 a.m.]:** If anything, I should be the one apologizing.

**Sister Chloe [10:44 a.m.]:** For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.

**Beca [10:44 a.m.]:** I feel like maybe I’ve been pushing you in a direction you’re not comfortable with.

**Sister Chloe [10:44 a.m.]:** Did I seem uncomfortable the other night, when we were together?

**Beca [10:44 a.m.]:** No.

Beca’s thoughts flashed back to how unbelievably soft Chloe’s skin felt and the way their bodies pressed up against one another. She swore she’d never need to have sex again as long as she could be like that with Chloe anytime she wanted. It was enough. Chloe was enough. A realization that was equal parts foreign, surprising, and gratifying.

**Sister Chloe [10:44 a.m.]:** You’re fine, Beca. It’s just...it's been a while.

**Beca [10:44 a.m.]:** No explanation necessary. I’m just happy to hear from you.

Any nerves that had built up in Chloe, any fear she had that Beca would be angry with her or -- worse -- not want anything to do with her dissipated, curling into the air and vanishing like incense from a thurible.

**Sister Chloe [10:44 a.m.]:** :)

**Sister Chloe [10:45 a.m.]:** So, I’m out of practice, but here it goes anyway…

**Sister Chloe [10:45 a.m.]:** Would you maybe wanna hang out this weekend?

**Sister Chloe [10:45 a.m.]:** I have a huge exam on Thursday night, but am free after that.

**Sister Chloe [10:45 a.m.]:** That is, if you’re free too.

**Sister Chloe [10:45 a.m.]:** And you want to, of course.

Beca smiled at Chloe’s ability to ramble over text. “Jesus, is there nothing about her that’s not cute?” she said into the emptiness of her office.

**Beca [10:46 a.m.]:** Take a breath, Chloe. The only plans I have are a friend’s party on Sat.

**Beca [10:46 a.m.]:** Maybe you’d want to be my date?

Too many seconds went by and Beca didn’t know what to think. Chloe surprised her at the club, so she couldn’t imagine if or how a party would give her pause. She just kept replaying Stacie’s advice in her head. “Go slow.”

But at what point would going slow turn into standing still? Or going backwards? Or running circles around Chloe? She shook the thought from her head; it was too soon to worry so much and too harsh not to give Chloe the benefit of the doubt, especially after everything she’d learned from Stacie.

Instead, she took a deep breath, eyes trained on the three little dots at the bottom of her screen and waited. And waited. And waited. She had one toe over the edge of giving up when her phone dinged, echoing in the silence that had descended around her and in her head.

**Sister Chloe [10:51 a.m.]:** Sorry!!

**Sister Chloe [10:51 a.m.]:** Dumb phone died and I couldn’t find the charger.

Whew! Beca kicked herself for being such a pessimist, always thinking the worst.

**Sister Chloe [10:51 a.m.]:** But yes, I’d love to.

**Sister Chloe [10:51 a.m.]:** I really want to see you.

Beca had to read Chloe’s last two messages more than once. Maybe more than 10 times to make absolute certain she was seeing what was, in fact, there on the screen, in black and white, and not just what she wanted to see.

Now it was Chloe’s turn to sweat the silence. Maybe she’d been too forward. Too effusive. Afterall she and Beca had known each other only a little over a week, and while Beca had reassured her that she wasn’t just looking for sex, she couldn’t quite shake the little devil on her shoulder that seemed to always be very helpful in casting doubt in her head. However, even he found it hard to deny that Beca’s touches weren’t those of someone who just wanted to get laid. They were soft and so slow that Chloe swore she could feel every ridge of Beca’s fingerprint on her skin. Every contact with Beca -- innocent or not, unintentional or purposeful -- was another brick in the wall, another stone in the bridge that was beginning to rise and arc between them, cementing little by little the trust Chloe was gaining in Beca.

**Beca [10:53 a.m.]:** Me too, Chlo. I’ll pick you up at 7 and maybe dinner before hand?

Chloe high-fived Stacie. “I just asked someone out on a date for the first time in like 10 years.”

“I hate to burst your bubble, Chlo, but technically Beca asked you on a date. You suggested the idea, but she was the one who came up with the plan.”

“What, so I only get partial credit?”

“You’re not going to get any credit unless you answer the poor girl and put her out of misery.”

**Sister Chloe [10:54 a.m.]:** That sounds like plan.

**Sister Chloe [10:54 a.m.]:** Looking forward to it.

**Beca [10:55 a.m.]:** Me too.

**Beca [10:55 a.m.]:** Hey…

**Sister Chloe [10:55 a.m.]:** ????

**Beca [10:55 a.m.]:** Good luck on your exam.

**Sister Chloe [10:56 a.m.]:** Thanks!

**Beca [10:56 a.m.]:** Study hard and maybe there will be a little reward for you afterwards ;)

**Sister Chloe [10:56 a.m.]:** Well, that’s a great motivator if ever I heard one.

Chloe tilted the phone screen so Stacie, who was sitting on the couch next to her filing her nails, could see the message. She raised an eyebrow in question.

“What do you think it could be?” asked Chloe.

“I know what that sounds like to me,” Stacie teased. “But coming from Beca, I’m sure it’s purely innocent. I wouldn’t worry.”

“Worry? Who’s worried?” Chloe said as she popped off the couch. “I’m excited.”

Stacie smiled. “Good, you should be.” She was pleased at this tiny blink-and-you-might-miss-it change in her roommate and best friend.

“Ugh,” Chloe looked at the clock on the wall. “I’m also really late for mass.” She chugged her last few sips of coffee and put the mug in the sink before heading down the hallway to her bedroom.

“Two steps forward, one step back,” said Stacie, rolling her eyes affectionately and returning her attention to her manicure.

XxxX

Chloe had spent longer than usual in church this week. She chalked it up to praying about her exam, but really she was thinking about Beca. Beca and Charlie. The question racing around her head was whether God took Charlie away so she’d find Beca. It seemed like an odd swap. Brother, family, blood in exchange for a complete stranger with whom she was meant to fall in love. And, it had to be love, right? Because anything less would mean Charlie’s death was all in vain.

Thoughts of him brought on an all-too-familiar tingle in her nose and warm tears welling up in her eyes. Her hands knitted together in prayer unfolded to wipe away the streaks down her cheeks. As her vision cleared, she glanced up and saw Father Lewyn, watching her with a kind expression on his face. He only winked and went about organizing the hymn sheets for the next service, leaving Chloe to finish her meditation in peace. She liked Father Lewyn a lot, but at the moment she was glad for the distance he maintained, for the solitude he afforded her.

It was then that she glanced at her watch and realized what time it was. She was exhausted, but knew she had one final push before her exam later that night. The only thing that kept her going -- aside from being officially finishing up her first year in grad school -- was whatever surprise Beca had planned for her.

When she got to her car and turned her phone back on she felt the familiar flutter in her chest that had quickly become synonymous with seeing Beca’s name on the display. She clicked on the message and smiled as she read it, and then read it again: “Good luck today. I’m thinking about you and rooting for you ;).”

XxxX

Beca never really ever prayed. It just wasn’t something she was brought up doing. Ever the eternal pessimist, she never even really expected good things to just...happen, but as she rode the elevator to Chloe’s apartment that night, she found herself talking to God, or Buddah, or Allah or whomever would listen -- she wasn’t picky -- asking for good news to greet her when she knocked.

Bag of Chinese food in one hand and several pints of ice cream in another -- good for celebrating if things went well or to wallow if they didn’t -- she made her way to Chloe’s apartment door and smiled when she heard one of her mixes blaring through the walls. It was so loud, she wasn’t even sure Chloe would hear her knock, so she waited for a break in the throbbing bass line that she knew was coming and lifted a closed fist to announce her arrival, but before knuckles touched metal, the door flew open and Chloe pounced, surrounding Beca in a flood of red and tugging her inside.

She couldn’t help but laugh, setting the bags down inside and gently cupping Chloe’s hips to guide her backwards, further into the apartment. “So, it didn’t go well, I take it,” Beca said, her hands sliding around to the small of Chloe’s back.

Chloe smiled, more at Beca’s touch than her words. “It went really well, and I’m so happy it’s over,” she said before peering around Beca at the bags on the floor. “What’s all that? My surprise?” she asked hopefully.

“Not quite. Your surprise will be here in about two hours. Just enough time for dinner,” she said as she picked up one bag, “and dessert.” She picked up the other and made her way to the kitchen.

XxxX

Chloe slumped down next to Beca on the couch. “I’m so full. I can’t believe you guessed my all of my favorites.”

“Well, to be fair, who doesn’t love an egg roll and dumplings. And sweet & sour chicken? And veggie lo mein. And...”

How Chloe had never noticed it -- or more like admitted it -- was beyond her, but the way Beca was reciting the Chinese food menu, most of which was currently sitting on her coffee table, seemingly attacked by a pack of Tasmanian devils, was adorable. Sexy even.

She found herself gripping the fabric of the couch cushion on either side of her to anchor herself to one spot, to stop herself from throwing a leg over Beca’s lap, taking her by the shoulders and kissing her, kissing her hard, until their lips were too tired and too numb to continue.

That thought quickly dissolved, though, with a knock on the door and the couch shifting as Beca stood up. “That, Ms. Beale, is your surprise.”

Chloe’s eyes shot up to the door, not really knowing what to expect.

There stood a blonde woman with a giant, padded table folded in front of her. “Hey Bec,” she said, greeting Beca with a huge smile and a hug.

“Thanks for coming, Jess. C’mon in.”

Jess angled the table, sliding it through the doorway before she entered behind it.

“Do you need help with anything else?”

Jess shook her head. “Nope, this,” she said patting the table, “and these,” she held up her hands and wriggled her fingers, “are the only tools of the trade.”

“Cool,” Beca said before turning to Chloe and winking, knowing that she’d thrown her for a bit of a loop. “Chlo, this is Jess.”

Chloe waved shyly.

“Jess, Chloe.”

“Hey, Chloe,” said Jess. “Congratulations on finishing your exams. I’m jealous!”

“So, Jess here is training to become a massage therapist and she needs more victims --”

Jess laughed, but swatted Beca firmly across the stomach making Beca bend to absorb the blow. “Hey!”

“Sorry. Sorry...I meant, volunteers…” Beca said with a smirk, looking at Jess, who nodded her approval. “I swear I said ‘volunteers’.”

The antics between the two made Chloe relax a bit. She knew Beca would never do anything to make her uncomfortable, but like most reasonable people, she also had a fear of the unknown and just wasn’t sure what to expect from the promise of a “surprise” from someone she'd only known a week.

The picture was becoming clear though, and Chloe’s heart thumped at what Beca had done for her -- that she’d thought about what Chloe might want and what might feel good after weeks of stress and studying. Sure, flowers would have been nice. Kind of generic, but nice. Even the Chinese food and ice cream were thoughtful, but this, this was just a level of attentiveness and consideration that Chloe had never experienced from anyone, and she was overwhelmed with emotion.

“Seriously though, Jess needs to complete a certain number of training hours and I thought that a massage might feel good after you -- ” Beca looked at Chloe and her face went ashen when she saw the tears in Chloe’s eyes. “Chloe? What’s wrong? I’m sorry, I figured --”

Beca looked back at Jess and held up a finger, asking her silently to hold on as she rushed to Chloe and gently pulled her up off the couch and into the kitchen.

Once they were alone, Chloe brought her hands up to cover her face, but Beca immediately pried them away. “I can tell her to go, Chloe, if you’re not comfortable with this. I just thought -- ”

Beca was internally kicking herself for thinking this was a good idea. She also made a mental note to fire Aubrey for agreeing.

“Oh, Beca, it’s not --” Chloe felt terrible for ruining what was the sweetest, most indulgent surprise she’d ever received. “I love the idea. I do. I just --” She started to pace. “No one and I mean no one has ever done anything like this for me. You’re so unbelievably…” she stopped in front of Beca, “wonderful.” God, that sounds so cheesy,” she said running a hand through her hair, “but’s true. It’s overwhelming, in a good way,” Chloe began pacing again, “to be taken care of like this, and I know I'm rambling, but I guess with all the stress...I’m just emotional or something. I don't know.”

Beca gripped Chloe's biceps to still her. “So, you’re...you’re crying because I’m too nice? That’s a new one.”

Chloe laughed a watery laugh, but her smile still beamed through the tears and Beca smiled back, relieved. “Are you sure this is OK?”

“I’m sure. I can’t believe you did this for me,” Chloe said as she let Beca dry her cheeks with the cuff of her shirt.

“Well, technically Jess is going to do it, but I’ll take the credit. Now, go enjoy yourself and relax.”

“Are you leaving?”

Beca took Chloe’s hands and swung them gently out and in. “I can if you want. Otherwise, I’ll hang out and swap out all the rom-coms on your Netflix queue with Czechoslovakian horror movies.”

“You’re trouble, Mitchell,” Chloe teased, poking her in the chest with a finger.

“Oh, you have no idea,” Beca winked.

Chloe did have some idea though. It was an idea she thought a lot about and adding a massage into the mix nearly sent Chloe into overdrive.

While she knew the massage would be heavenly and would rid her of that knot between her shoulder blades, the tension in her lower back, in that moment, she really didn’t want to leave Beca’s side. Beca’s gaze. Her touch. If she were being honest, what she really wanted was for Beca to be the one touching her tonight. Lithe fingers dancing down her back, pressing into her skin, kneading her tight muscles, coated in massage oil and inching up higher and higher on her thighs.

It made her wet to think about Beca’s hands on her like that, and she tried without much success to exhale away the pressure building between her legs.

“Ready?” asked Beca, still looking a little concerned.

Chloe nodded and led the way back out into the living room. Jess picked her head up from her phone when she heard Beca clear her throat.

“Everything OK?”

“Oh yeah,” said Chloe. “It’s just been a really stressful week and I wasn’t expecting such a thoughtful surprise.” She glanced back at Beca.

Jess smiled warmly. “I get it. And yeah, you’re learning that our Beca here is just a total smoosh,” she reached forward and pinched Beca’s cheek as Beca swatted her hand away. “Now, where can I set up?”

“This way,” Chloe said, giggling and leading them down the hallway. “My room.”

“Hey, hey! Let’s not let this rumor get around, all right?” When they didn’t answer, she yelled louder after them. “And no more squeezing my cheeks!”

After no response, Beca huffed and flopped onto the couch, losing herself in her phone.

A little more than an hour later, Jess and Chloe emerged from the bedroom, the latter looking meltingly relaxed in a long terry robe and her hair in a bun. Beca’s breath caught at the sight. Chloe looked so incredibly fresh and beautiful -- the embodiment of bliss -- that it took her a moment to figure out how to acknowledge Chloe's presence in the room while keeping her distance because all she wanted to do was touch. To slowly peel the robe from Chloe’s body and gently lay her down on the couch, or the bed, or the floor, or -- she really didn’t care.

But then, there was that voice in her head. Stacie saying “Go slow.” It was Beca’s constant reminder that Chloe was more than just sex. More than a body. She was a heart -- that had been almost irreparably broken -- and a brain, a brilliant smile, and eyes, God those eyes could bring her to her knees. Yes, she wanted Chloe, but she also wanted more with Chloe, the possibility of which was so worth keeping her libido in check.

“Everything good?” was the best she could do, but Chloe didn't seem to notice.

Instead, she just smiled at Beca and nodded. “Everything is...there’s a word, but I can’t think of it. My brain is mush right now.”

“Well, that means my work here is done,” said Jess, hefting her massage table to the door.

“Thanks, Jess,” said Chloe as she plunked onto the couch. “That was exactly what I needed.”

“Can I help with this thing?” Beca asked, gesturing to the massage table.

“Thanks, but I’m good,” Jess said guiding the table into the hallway. “We have a whole class dedicated to lugging this thing around. Hey, I’ll see you at the party tomorrow, right?”

“Yep, and Chloe, too.”

“Oh, cool. Well, until then, have a good night, you two.”

“Same, Jess. And thanks again.”

“You bet.”

Beca closed the door behind her and made her way to the couch, sitting next to Chloe.

“So, was your massage OK?”

“It was better than OK, Beca. Jess is great, and I don’t just mean as a masseuse. She’s really sweet.”

“Yeah, she’s one of the good ones. I’m glad you liked her. And she’ll be another friendly face at the party.”

“I’m excited to meet more of your friends,” Chloe said as she tucked her legs under her robe, inadvertently tugging it open slightly at the neck to reveal creamy, freckled skin and the ample curve of her left breast.

Beca couldn’t look away, and if Chloe knew where she was looking, she made no effort to cover up. She felt her palms start to sweat and that familiar pull to the woman sitting just a few tantalizing inches from her. It was eroding her resolve like a sandcastle helpless against the incoming tide.

She wasn’t the religious one and yet she felt like someone was tempting her. Testing her faith in her own self-control. Self-control that was promptly whisked away when Chloe looked up at her, eyes completely innocent, and asked, “Will you stay with me tonight?”

Beca blinked once, twice, three times, leaving the question hanging in the air around them as she tried to convince herself that Chloe wasn’t the devil in disguise. In a gorgeous, sexy disguise that Beca just wanted to feel and learn. She wanted to know every dimple, every curve on Chloe's body, every place where she was ticklish, every spot that made her moan.

Her mouth gaped opened, but closed again when she realized her brain couldn’t compose an answer. She was daring herself to say “yes,” but was either too stupid or too noble to actually go through with it.

The words that finally did trickle out were definitely not the ones she wanted to say, but she knew they were the ones she had to say:

“Last time I did that, I didn’t hear from you for like four days,” she glanced up to see a tinge of guilt in Chloe’s eyes. “I really want you to come to the party tomorrow and meet my friends. I’d also like to see you this weekend. Like, maybe you'd come to the club again or something. So, as hard as it is, I’m going to say no,” she signed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. “But if you still feel like you want to spend the night together, we can plan a sleepover for tomorrow, OK?”

Chloe couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. That was definitely not the answer she wanted, but she was so taken with Beca’s reverence that it was hard to feel anything other than flattered. “I’ll miss you,” she said, walking Beca to the door.

“I’ll miss you too, Chlo, but I think this is for the best,” Beca said as she stepped into the hallway, surprised when Chloe gripped her wrist, tugging her back.

“Thank you for tonight, Beca,” she said earnestly. “For everything.”

“It was no big deal, Chlo, but I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Beca said. Her eyes dropped to Chloe’s lips before she freed herself from Chloe's grasp and slipped their fingers together, giving them a squeeze before setting off down the hallway to the elevators.

Chloe watched her until the elevator door closed. Maybe Beca was right. Maybe the Chinese food, the ice cream, wasn't a big deal. Even the massage cost her nothing more than a favor, but to Chloe it was huge. She was taken with how generous Beca was, not just with money and gifts, but with her time and the thought she put into the night, making sure Chloe felt pampered. Relaxed. Take care of. Loved.

Wait. Loved? Really?

Did Beca love her?

Did she...did she love Beca?

Chloe sat on the edge of her bed, unconsciously biting her lip, fully expecting the weight of her answer to return the knot to her shoulder blades and the tightness in her back.

She wasn't quite sure what to do when that tension didn't materialize, or when she found herself wishing it would so that she would know better what to do about everything she was feeling.

About Beca.


	8. Thou Shalt Not…

“Jesus Chr --” Chloe yelped before clapping her own hand over her mouth to stop herself as they pulled up to the huge mansion in Buckhead. 

 

Her exclamation took Beca by such surprise that she nearly plowed into the Alfa Romero parked in front of her in the circular driveway.  

 

“What the -- ? Chloe!” 

 

“Sorry!” she said, getting out of the car and looking up at the house towering in front of her. “It’s just...mind telling me what your friend does that she’s able to rent out a place like this for a birthday party?”

 

Beca chuckled and tossed her keys to the valet.  “Hey Roman,” she said to him. 

 

“Sup, Mitchell?”  he asked, snatching the keys out of the air with one hand and high-fiving Beca with the other.  “You want it in the front, right? I know you like to sneak out early,” he smirked and folded himself into the driver’s seat.  

 

“You can put it six or eight cars deep for all I care, dude.  I’m not the one who has to figure out how to get it out of there when the time comes  And you know I don’t like to wait,” she said smiling. 

 

Roman playfully rolled his eyes and pulled the car door closed before he drove away.      
  


Beca lightly jogged across the expanse of the driveway to catch up to Chloe. 

 

“You know these guys,” Chloe asked?

 

“Oh, sure.  Amy lived with me -- rent free -- for a long time when I was in grad school while she was...doing whatever she does.  The least she can do to repay me is let me use her pool in the summer and every once in a while let her valet guys wash my car.” 

 

“I’m so --” Chloe shook her head as if that might help her make sense of all of this.  “So, Amy lives here?” 

 

“She does.  Her dad was some kind of Australian mobster or something.  She turned him in and got his entire fortune. A few hundred million, I think.  But you learn not to ask too many questions. You’ll see.”

 

Chloe opened her mouth to speak, but Beca cut her off.  “Oh, and it’s Fat Amy.” 

 

“Fat?  Amy?” Chloe said somewhat incredulously as she eyed the grand foyer of the house. 

 

Before Beca could answer, Chloe heard an Australian accent cut through the din of the party. “Yeah, so twig bitches like you and your lesbi-pal here don’t do it behind my back.” 

 

Beca laughed.  “Chloe, this is Fat Amy.  Fat Amy, Chloe Beale.” 

 

“Ah, the nun,” Fat Amy said.  “It’s nice to meet you. Listen, there’s porn playing on a loop in a few of the bedrooms upstairs.  If that’s offensive to you, well, just don’t go in there and we’ll both be right with the Lord, yeah?”

 

Chloe nodded and couldn’t help but laugh (and part of her was curious about what exactly was on the TVs in those bedrooms, especially now that Beca had taken off her silky bomber jacket and was clad only in a boxy muscle shirt that floated above the waistband of her jeans, exposing her midriff).  

 

“She’s not a nun, Ames,” Beca said, touching Chloe’s bicep.  “She’s just a normal, fun person.”   
  
Amy eyed Chloe up and down and turned back to Beca.  “Doubt that if she’s hanging out with you, Shawshank.”

 

Upon hearing the nickname, Chloe raised a questioning eyebrow in Beca’s direction.  Beca only dropped her head and sighed. “Later,” she said quietly to Chloe. 

 

“Oh, and no sex on the pool table,” said Fat Amy. “I’m telling everyone that, not just the gays.  I just don't want you don’t think I have anything against some lady lovin’ because I don’t. I tried it with a girl once, but so many men revolted and I just couldn’t handle the crushing guilt.”  She grabbed her crotch, a la Michael Jackson before she was absorbed back into the crowd. 

 

“Wow!” said Chloe. 

 

Beca ran a hand through her hair and blew out a puff of air.  “Sorry. Even after all this time, I forget how much preparation is required to meet Fat Amy for the first time.  But, hey, you survived and lived to tell the tale.” 

 

“I did.  And now I think I need a drink.”

 

“A well deserved one at that,” Beca said, leading Chloe out a set of French doors to Amy’s pool, which was bigger than Chloe had ever seen.  

 

Amid the moonlight, pool toys abound and 80s music blasted from speakers.  While Chloe was taking it all in, Beca slipped away to the bar and grabbed them each a gin & tonic.  “Here you go,” she said, handing the cool glass to Chloe. “This should help.”

 

Chloe took a sip and Beca found herself mesmerized when the tip of Chloe’s tongue peeked out to lick the remnants of the sugary tonic from her lips.  “Thanks, Bec,” she said. “This hit the spot. I can’t believe it’s after 9 and it’s still so hot.” 

 

“That’s Atlanta for you.”  Beca couldn’t tell if it was the temperature that was starting to get to her, or if Chloe just being...Chloe, but she knew she needed to cool off. “How about a dip?  You brought your suit, right?” she asked, handing Chloe her glass. 

 

Then, it was Beca’s turn to send Chloe’s senses into overdrive.  Chloe watched helplessly as Beca crossed her arms in front of her and gripped the hem of her shirt, pulling it off over her head to reveal a black bikini top and the toned stomach that Chloe remembered from the other night, the way the muscles quivered under the light touches of her fingertips.  She then kicked off her Vans and pulled her Ray-Ban aviators from where they were resting on the crown of her head, setting them on the ground. 

 

Chloe yelped and jumped back a bit as Beca leaped into the pool, landing on her butt and sending up a larger than expected splash.  When she broke through the surface of the water she quickly found Chloe again and swam back towards her, throwing her arms over the pool’s edge, showing off her strong shoulders and biceps. 

 

“C’mere,” she said making grabby hands at Chloe, who was captivated by the way the water hung on to Beca’s long, curly eyelashes. It seemed to make her eyes shine even brighter, more mischievous than usual.  

 

“Uh-uh,” she said, keeping a safe distance. “You think I don’t know what’s going to happen?  I’m going to walk over there, and you’re going to throw me in. I don’t think so, Trouble.” 

 

Beca wiped the water from her eyes.  “Hey, if you don’t want to come in, you don’t have to.  Just sit on the edge. Promise. Look…” 

 

To prove she was serious, she pushed off the wall to the middle of the pool until Chloe sat down, a glass on either side of her, and slid her long, muscular legs into the water.  She didn’t take her eyes off Beca the whole time, watching her swim back to the wall, where she surged out of the water making Chloe yelp again, but Beca only grabbed her drink and laughed.  “A little jumpy tonight?” Beca teased.

 

Chloe pushed Beca away again with her foot, but this time, when Beca came back to the side, she pulled herself up and crossed her arms over Chloe’s thighs. Chloe had to admit that the cool water provided much needed relief from watching Beca’s impromptu strip tease, the graceful way she propelled herself through the water and the way the water beaded on her smooth skin, reflecting in each drop the light of the moon.  She looked like a dream, and Chloe wanted to kiss away the water that hung from the tip of her nose and splashed onto her lips. Instead she took another sip of her drink -- anything to divert her attention from the way Beca was looking at her. 

 

But when she couldn’t take the intensity of Beca’s gaze anymore, “What?” she asked, somewhat self-consciously.  

 

“Don’t like the water? Because I can get out and we can just go hang out in the lounge chairs or inside.  I hear they’re playing porn in the bedrooms,” Beca said as she waggled her eyebrows. 

 

Chloe laughed again. Beca was being so cute and accommodating, and the truth was, she did want to go in.  She just felt a little exposed in her bathing suit. It had been a long time since she’d worn anything other than a modest one-piece, but Stacie had convinced her otherwise and lent her an electric blue bikini that matched her eyes.  She was certain Beca wouldn’t be able to look away, and at first Chloe was eager to test that theory. Now, though, in the presence of other people, she was nervous. 

 

“I do.  I love the water.  I’m just easing my way in.  While I do, you can tell me a story.” 

 

“A story?” 

 

“Yeah,  _ Shawshank _ .” 

 

“Nope.  Not that story,” Beca refused, getting exactly what Chloe was intimating. “ How about a nice little tale about three bears and a little blonde girl who likes porridge instead?” 

 

“Sure,” Chloe challenged.  “But no story, no pool. Your choice.” She started to stand, but before she could withdraw her other leg from the water, but Beca caught her around the ankle and gave a gentle tug.   “Beca,” Chloe chastised as she wobbled on one foot.

 

“Fine.”  Beca relinquished her grip and watched Chloe sit back down, wondering what kind of bathing suit she was she was wearing.  It had to be skimpier than the already-skimpy cut offs she had on -- a thought that made Beca’s stomach tighten in anticipation...and arousal.  

 

“I’m waiting.”  Chloe’s firm request snapped Beca out of her thoughts.  

 

“Um, it’s not that exciting, really,” she began.  “About two years ago, I went to jail for attempted breaking and entering.”   Beca could see the shocked look on Chloe’s face and rushed to allay whatever horrible thing she was imagining about her past.  “I didn’t -- I mean, I wasn’t trying to steal anything. I needed to get the rest of my stuff from the apartment that my ex and I shared, but she apparently changed the alarm code and forgot to tell me.  Then, she went off to model for Paris Fashion Week or something...”

 

“You, um, you dated a model?” 

 

“Yeah,” said Beca nonchalantly. 

 

Of course, Chloe thought.  Of course Beca dated models, and Chloe couldn't help but wonder what she saw in her, why she was wasting her time with a prudish grad student.

 

As if Beca sensed the question boiling in Chloe’s head, she continued: “She was beautiful,” Beca said thoughtfully, “but she just wasn't the total package, you know?” It took Chloe a minute to realize the wink that followed was aimed squarely at her.  It wasn't a dirty or salacious gesture. It wasn’t laden with innuendo. Instead, it was almost as if Beca had a secret that she was divulging -- that Chloe was beautiful, smart, funny, giving, loving and a host of other things Chloe forgot could make a person attractive.  Sexy even. 

 

It had been a while since she felt like she needed to actually use any of those weapons in her arsenal.  She'd kept her sexuality at bay for so long that she’d forgotten she was attractive, maybe even alluring.  Once? Still? But she liked the way Beca seemed to naturally bring it out in her, sometimes without her knowing, realizing or expecting it.  It made her blush, but it also lit a fire of confidence with in her. 

 

“Anyway because of the time difference, they couldn't reach my ex to confirm that I had a right to be in the apartment, but Amy bailed me out so I wouldn't have to spend the night in jail.  Aaaand in return, she gets to call me Shawshank for as long as we both shall live. So there you have it.”

 

“Can  _ I _ call you Shawshank?” a puckish Chloe asked.

 

Beca sent a gentle splash in Chloe's direction. “No, but you can get in the pool,” she said as she slid her arms down Chloe’s thighs. “A deal's a deal.”

 

The alcohol, paired with Beca’s subtle, flirtatious touching, had started to dissolve Chloe’s inhibitions.  She stood up, watching Beca watch her as she popped the button fly on her jean shorts and slid them down her legs. Loving being the object of Beca’s gaze, she pulled her shirt up over her head and dropped it to the pile Beca created earlier.

 

She sat back down at the edge, jutting her hips out and lowering herself into the water.  Suddenly, she felt hands gripping her ribcage, guiding her down. When she looked up, she was face to face with a very wet, very cute Beca. 

 

“Hey, you,” Beca said softly. 

 

“Hi,” Chloe whispered, inching closer to Beca’s lips, watching the smile spread across her face before she found herself submerged.  Then, just as quick, Beca’s hands were on her back, jerking her back up above the water.

 

“Sorry, you looked a little too, uh, hot,” Beca said, and there was that wink again.

 

It made Chloe want to wrap her legs around Beca’s waist and squeeze. And this time, rather than second guess herself, she just...did it.  She draped her arms over Beca’s shoulders and rested her calves against the curve of Beca’s hips, as Beca brought her hands to Chloe’s back to support her.    

 

They were face to face, and Beca could feel Chloe’s soft breath on her lips.  She tried to distract herself by counting the freckles on Chloe’s face, but she only got to 134 before she realized just how weak she was with this woman in her arms, their bodies folded together, like origami.  Right at that moment, Chloe dipped her head and Beca, without thinking, captured her mouth, sucking gently on her lower lip. The kiss pulled an unexpected moan from Chloe, who smiled and kissed Beca back. It was tentative at first, but like riding a bike, Chloe's muscle memory kicked in and she soon regained her confidence in her lips, her mouth, her entire body. 

 

That’s all it took for Beca and Chloe to quickly forget about the party going on around them.  

 

Chloe let Beca tug her closer. As hot as it was outside, Chloe felt a million degrees hotter pressed up against a wet Beca. She couldn’t ignore the pounding in her head, the way everything seemed to turn dull and muted.  But she knew alcohol wasn’t the only culprit. Lust, her attraction to Beca, was descending over her hard and fast, and she had only a split second -- the flick of a tongue -- to decide: should she keep kissing Beca and let it lead where she inevitably knew it would? Or should she gently pry herself away and decline Beca’s advances, which would deliver much needed clarity, but little in the way of actual relief or resolution.  Because lately, that feeling of being rooted in something steady and stable and reliable no longer felt as comforting or as secure as being with Beca. 

 

Thankfully, a familiar voice somewhere behind them made the decision for her. “Hey.  Hey! Didn’t you two hear Amy’s rule? No sex in the pool.”

 

Beca tried hard -- and failed -- to stop her lips, still pursed against Chloe’s, from stretching into a smile and naturally breaking the kiss.  Chloe laughed and dropped her head to Beca’s shoulder as Beca turned to find Stacie, beer in hand, floating next to them on a giant penguin shaped raft.   

 

“She said no sex on the pool  _ table, _ dude.” 

 

“Shit,” said Stacie. “Well, guess I’m never going to be allowed back here again.”

 

“What are you doing here in the first place, Stace?” asked Chloe.  “How do you know Amy?” 

 

“Think of it like...like Six Degrees of Fat Amy.”  

 

“So,” said Chloe, quickly putting the pieces together.  “You slept with a guy, who slept with a girl, who slept with a guy -- “   
  
“Well, another girl, but yeah, that’s the idea.  So, are we enjoying ourselves?” 

 

“We  _ were,”  _ said Beca, hoping Stacie would get the hint.

 

“I’m sorry, did I interrupt something?” the ever-coy Stacie smiled. 

 

Chloe looked curiously at Beca to see if and how she was going to respond, but as Beca opened her mouth to speak, Stacie’s raft flipped, dumping her into the pool. Suddenly,  Aubrey and Jesse broke the surface of the water like a poor man’s Doublemint Twins. “Oooh, what did we interrupt?” Jesse asked, eyeing the girls. 

 

By this time, Stacie had resurfaced, her beer managing to stay above water the whole time. “I think we just cock-blocked lil Becs here.” 

 

Beca brought a hand back, intending to splash Stacie, but Chloe grabbed both of Beca's wrists and placed them back around her waist.

 

“All of you can just,” Beca reached up and covered Chloe's ears, “get fucked.”

 

“We’ll follow your lead, Beca,” said Stacie. “Show us how it's done.”

 

“All right, all right,” said Aubrey, getting between Stacie and Beca.  “Cool it, you two. There are ladies present.” 

 

“You’re right, Aubs,” Beca said. “Sorry, Jesse, for offending your feminine sensibilities.” 

 

With that, Beca quickly detangled herself from Chloe as Jesse launched himself at her. She ducked right in time, and Jesse lightly belly-flopped, completely missing his target. 

 

By the time he surfaced, the four girls were making their way over to the side of the pool in the shallower end where they could all stand. Stacie and Aubrey were submerged up to their shoulders.  Beca pressed her back up against the wall of the pool, her legs out at an angle, and she pulled Chloe in to stand between them, wrapping her arms around Chloe’s waist and locking her fingers across her bare stomach.  

 

Chloe seized up at the touch, the rush of how good it felt to be held like this, or at all, flooding her senses for just a second before she relaxed into Beca’s embrace, her head on Beca’s shoulder.  

 

Jesse approached the four of them, giving Aubrey a kiss on the cheek and Beca the finger, which made her roll her eyes and laugh. “Is it rude if I don’t introduce you to Jesse?” she asked Chloe, her voice loud enough for him to hear above the ambient noise of the pool party. 

 

He fired off an indignant “Yes!” 

 

She reached out to shove him playfully and then turned to Chloe.  “I’m sorry to do this, but Chloe, this is Jesse, Aubrey’s husband.  Aubrey can probably attest to whether his aim is as bad in bed as it is in the pool.” 

 

“Oooh, burrrrn,” laughed Stacie.  

 

“What is it?  Gang up on Jesse night?” he pleaded with the girls.  “Is it because I’m the only guy?” 

 

“Chloe’s not ganging up on you,”  Beca offered.

 

“I just don’t know him well enough yet, but after tonight, I think I can probably start,” Chloe said. 

 

Aubrey and Stacie high-fived her, laughing.  Beca squeezed her waist a little tighter under the water in response -- a much smaller, much less visible signal of approval and maybe even affection that Chloe felt for the rest of the night. 

 

XxxX 

 

“I’m pruney,” Chloe said, showing her shriveled fingers to Beca.  

 

The five of them had been in the pool for well over an hour.  Chloe seemed to fit right in, never once batting an eye at the foul language or innuendo that was bandied about as if they were discussing what they each ate for lunch.  But, Beca couldn’t stop herself from worrying whether it was all too much for Chloe -- if she was keeping a running tally of all the sins she’d have to confess the next day or whether she worried about the guilt of from her touches drowning her alive.    

 

“Mmm, ribbed for your pleasure,” said Stacie, winking at Beca.  

 

Beca scrunched up her face.  “On that note, we’re getting out of the water and getting away from you nerds.”  She nudged Chloe toward the stairs, beating her out of the pool and wrapping her up in a huge towel from the towel warmer. 

 

Chloe hummed her approval as Beca ran her hands up and down Chloe’s arms.  “You OK? I know we can be pretty offensive. Add Stacie to the mix, and wow, even I was blushing.” 

 

“I’m completely fine. Father Lewyn on the other hand is in for an earful tomorrow.” Chloe waited for a reaction, laughing only when Beca smiled and shook her head.   

 

“What am I going to do with you?”  

 

Beca’s question was undoubtedly rhetorical, so she wasn’t expecting a response...much less Chloe’s response. 

 

“I don't know.  What do you  _ want  _ to do with me?” 

 

Chloe's tone was one that Beca hadn't really heard before.  Flirty. Confident. Even needy.

 

Her head whipped around to make sure the words came from the woman behind her, wet hair plastered to her forehead, wrapped in a towel, biting her bottom lip. 

 

Beca took one step back towards Chloe  and with her thumb tugged Chloe's lip out from between her teeth, kissing her soundly.  “I, um...do you want to maybe...go?” she asked hesitantly, not wanting to assume anything or worse, rush Chloe into something she wasn’t ready for.  

 

To her surprise, Chloe nodded, admitting to herself that the wetness between her legs was not just from the pool.

 

XxxX 

 

The ride back to Beca’s was physically uncomfortable.  Not only were they both in wet swimsuits, having left the party in great haste, but they were also incredibly turned on. 

 

Beca tried hard not to touch Chloe, even as Chloe ached to feel her hands everywhere and anywhere.  Part of her was secretly hoping Beca would veer the car off the road on to the shoulder, put it in park, and fuck her right there in the front seat.  

 

But that incredible want clashed with intense, almost suffocating, guilt, and she felt herself slowly coming apart as opposing forces pulled her in completely different directions. 

 

“Chlo?  What is it?” Beca asked softly, seeing Chloe’s furrowed brow and almost intuitively sensing the conflict thrashing in her head. 

 

When Chloe didn’t answer, Beca continued.  “Look, I've told you, Chloe. Nothing needs to happen.  I will stay on the couch.” 

 

“What if...what if I want something to happen?” Chloe almost couldn't believe those words left her mouth, but she didn’t have to wonder about what was so needy within her to let them just escape like that.  Now that they were out there, she felt...relieved.

 

“Then…” Beca thought carefully about her answer.  Stacie's voice reverberated in her head, “Go slow,” but she didn't want to give Chloe the idea that she wasn't attracted to her.  That couldn't be further from the truth. “Then... something will happen. Could happen. If you want.”

 

What she wanted right now was to reach out and thread her fingers with Chloe’s but she worried about what message that might send -- if her actions might betray her words -- so she kept her hands to herself, kept quiet until they were in Beca’s room, Beca plucking a pair of shorts and a faded “Frankie Says Relax” t-shirt out of her drawer and handing them to Chloe. 

 

The selection was completely inadvertent, but it made Chloe giggle.  “Is this,” she said unfurling the shirt, “your official recommendation?” 

 

Beca turned to see what she was talking about.  A smile cracked through her apprehension. “I...uh, no,” she rolled her eyes at her own fumbling.  “I mean, it wasn’t intentional, but it’s not a bad suggestion.” She stepped into Chloe’s space and kissed her cheek, “I’m not going to hurt you, Chloe, and I’m not going to do anything you don’t want.” 

 

“Beca, I -- ”

 

Beca held a hand up, gently placing it over Chloe’s mouth and then kissing it.  

 

Chloe withered at the simple, sincere gesture and smiled when Beca withdrew her hand.  “Go change please. You’re shivering and you’re making a puddle on my floor. The bathroom’s right there,” she pointed across the room. 

 

As she peeled the wet swimsuit from her body and changed into the clothes Beca gave her, she prayed for guidance, an answer.  She'd settle for even the smallest sign and she could only hope she'd have the wisdom to recognize it.

 

So when she opened the bathroom door, she couldn't be sure whether a Beca propped up in bed, wearing a faded tank top -- the tattoos that pieced together her full sleeve plainly visible and bright even in the dark -- black-rimmed glasses, and her hair in a ponytail, was her sign,  _ the  _ sign, or if it was just pure, heated attraction.

 

Seeing Beca like that, so at ease and relaxed,  was incredibly sexy and Chloe had neither the time nor the desire to figure out the right answer.

 

“I’ll move to the couch when you’re ready to go to sleep,” Beca said, without taking her eyes off the TV screen.  

 

To be honest, she wasn't really interested in whatever was on at this hour, but she needed something, anything to take her mind off the inadvertent temptress sinking into bed next to her.

 

She felt the cool rush of air as Chloe slid between the sheets.  Her smooth legs found Beca’s and it was as if they’d been in this position a hundred times.

 

Beca sunk down into the pillows, naturally curling her arm around Chloe.  Her hand fell to the dip in Chloe’s back right above the waistband of the shorts Beca gave her.

 

Wait. 

 

Beca had given her shorts, right?  She was sure of it and yet, her fingertips didn’t meet fabric of any kind.  There was only the gentle slope of Chloe’s back and then...then she felt it as Chloe shifted her hips, pressing herself up against the side of Beca’s thigh. 

 

“Chlo?” she turned and opened her mouth to ask a question, any question really. It didn’t matter and she sure as hell didn’t care about the answer.  She just needed a minute to breathe. To process what was happening and then to make sure it  _ was  _ really happening, that she wasn’t imagining it. 

 

But the soft, wet heat was real.

 

The gentle rock of Chloe’s hips was real.   

 

And the proximity of Chloe’s lips to hers was oh so very real.  

  
Her head came off the pillow, one arm under her, propping her up and the other cupping Chloe’s cheek.  

 

It would have been so easy for Beca to pull Chloe down on top of her and kiss her until morning.  It was the only thing she could think of, the only thing she wanted.

 

Because she’d earned it.  She’d been good. She’d been respectful and God, she’d been patient in ways she never thought possible.  

 

Something had to give. 

 

The dam had to break.

 

And Chloe was going to be the one to do it.

 

Beca could count Chloe's every breath against her face, feel Chloe’s eyelashes on her cheek with every blink. 

 

Her hand slid through thick red waves to the back of Chloe's head and Chloe tried hard to keep her eyes from slamming shut, anticipating the feel of Beca's lips on hers.

 

But Beca, instead of kissing Chloe's mouth like every single cell in her body was begging for her to do, stopped and pulled away.

 

“Chlo,” Beca said, serious and sober.  “Look at me.” 

 

Chloe's eyes fluttered open, and Beca could so clearly see the desire, the want. It was the answer to her question, but she still needed to hear Chloe say it out loud to be certain of, confident in, her own actions.

 

She tucked a wayward tendril of hair behind Chloe's ear and Chloe leaned into the touch.  

 

“Tell me,” Beca breathed out in barely a whisper, her eyes never leaving Chloe's.

 

It was Chloe who brought their faces close together again and nodded.

 

“Say it, Chlo.  What do you want?”

 

“I want --” Chloe swallowed hard. “I want you to watch me.”

 

That...that was  _ not _ at all what Beca was expecting but if the low growl that rumbled in the back of her throat was any indication, Chloe's was an invitation she couldn’t to turn down.

 

She surged up, placing her hands on either side of Chloe's face, dragging her down and kissing her hard.

 

Chloe planted her hands on the mattress to brace herself against the force of Beca's mouth -- like a downpour after a years-long drought, replenishing the scorched Earth, nourishing and reviving all that was weathered, withered and wary.

 

She was completely defenseless. Vulnerable.  Yet she felt so safe with Beca this close, her inhibitions miles away, the sins about to befall her suddenly so comfortably insignificant.

 

Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe's, mouths still moving together as if they were singing the same song.  She dug one foot into the mattress and used the other for leverage, pushing her hips up and into Chloe, swinging a leg over Chloe's waist and flipping them.

 

The splay of red hair on the pillow beneath her was brilliant, like fireworks on the 4th of July-- a sudden explosion of vibrance shooting through the dark.

 

Beca so consumed by Chloe's kisses that she barely even noticed the way the woman's shirt had bunched up around her waist when they switched positions, didn't notice the way the fabric tented at the push of her hard nipples, and somehow completely missed Chloe snaking her hand between them.

 

It was only when Chloe parted her legs, dropping Beca in between them and rocking her hips that Beca could feel on her stomach the rhythm of Chloe's deft fingers beneath her. 

 

She looked down between them and then back up at the woman under her, lips parted slightly allowing short, panting breaths and gentle moans to escape her.  She watched the tongue she was just teasing and sucking poke out of the corner of Chloe’s mouth and sweep across swollen pink flesh. Her eyes were screwed shut, brows furrowed, face and neck flushed.  Heated.

 

It was all almost too much to witness, especially when Beca sat up further and settled on to her haunches, watching the scene unfolding -- somewhat literally -- before her.  

 

Admittedly, she'd had some pretty, uh, interesting experiences with women who liked it kinky, or women who had fetishes but, surprisingly, none had ever masturbated in front of her.   Sure, they'd touched themselves, but never to climax. And yet, here was Chloe, who went to church every day -- not just every Sunday -- asking Beca to watch her get off. 

 

Maybe she should have taken more time to consider what what they -- or more specifically, Chloe -- were about to do, but every thought she should have had about this moment bypassed her sensible head and went straight to her sensitive pussy.  Any desire to second-think what was about to happen was just replaced by the desire to watch Chloe come and, perhaps selfishly, Beca wasn’t about to question that. 

 

Chloe's legs were spread, the soles of her feet facing each other, knees pointing out.  Her first finger and ring finger gently parted her pussy lips, while her middle finger started slowly stroking a perfectly pink clit, peeking out from delicate folds of feminine flesh that seemed to be alight with arousal.

 

Beca watched, transfixed, as two of Chloe's fingers captured her clit, smoothing over it, again and again.  Long languid strokes that made her moan, and short but firm brushes that made her hips buck into her hand -- a clear response to the building, twisting pressure low in her belly.

 

She knew because she was feeling it too -- a hunger, famine really, that needed to be fed.

 

But she felt frozen in place, too in awe to even answer the primal drive that felt like it was clawing at her skin from the inside out.

 

The only thing to shake her out of her lust-induced stupor was the admission from somewhere in front of her.  “This is what I do when I think about you.”

 

Those words reached into her chest like hands to stop her heart and she wasn't sure if she grunted at the intrusion or the rush of feeling.

 

But it spurred her to action, climbing over an all-consumed Chloe, legs now bent at the knees, heels dug into the mattress to brace herself against the shattering orgasm that, if her panting was any indication, would drop her like the break of a wave drops one to the ocean floor.

 

She scrambled to slip behind Chloe, sitting with her legs bracketing her on either side, and she pressed herself into the small of Chloe's back.  For as blearily turned on as Beca was, she didn’t miss the way their bodies fit together -- just the way saints and sinners shouldn’t -- and she felt a distant pang of guilt for dragging Chloe down with her. 

 

But any fault that simmered in her subconscious was quickly tamped down when Chloe whimpered, in response to Beca parting her legs further, spreading her wet pussy and grinding it against her.

 

Beca brushed Chloe's hair to one side, exposing her neck.  What started as sweet nuzzles and teasing nips quickly gave way to Beca sucking at the thin skin there. As she raked her teeth along a pronounced jaw bone, her eyes flicked up, over Chloe's shoulder. She couldn't tear her gaze away from Chloe’s hand working between her own legs, teasing and playing with herself.  Beca watched intently the way Chloe jerked her hips or flinched when she touched herself a certain way, pressed down on her sensitive clit, even gently pinched and tugged at it.

 

With every stroke, Beca felt her resistance waning until her hand, almost of its own doing, followed the path that Chloe's had taken earlier, coming to rest atop slick fingers. Beca intertwined them, coating her own hand with Chloe.

 

She felt her mouth water as she brought her hand up, sucking each finger from the tip down to the webbing to make sure she tasted all of the woman quickly coming apart in front of her.

 

Chloe watched from the corner of her eye as Beca's tongue wrapped around each digit.  She let a small moan escape at the sight, but Beca reduced the woman to near sobs when she dropped her hand between her legs again, letting Chloe guide her and show her how she liked to be touched with the pads of her fingers and the way she liked to rut up against her palm.  

 

She could tell by the flex of Chloe's abs and the tension in her legs that she was getting close to coming.  Beca pulled her hands away to massage Chloe’s inner thighs, keeping her legs spread wide as she dragged her thumbs through the creases of her bikini line.

 

Chloe didn't seem at all distracted by Beca's ministrations.  Like a whirling dervish, she had worked herself into a trance with the way she rubbed her entire pussy and then lavished attention on her very hard, very sensitive clit.

 

Beca, hands still gripping Chloe's thighs, holding her open, closed her eyes and concentrated on her own orgasm, rocking her hips into Chloe's backside, building a rhythm across both of their bodies.  

 

Perhaps the sweat was to blame or maybe it was just that Chloe was so wet, she was practically dripping, but Beca's fingers slipped back into Chloe's soft folds.  She only really noticed when she felt Chloe's clit pulsing against her, and she looked down to find that Chloe had removed her own hand, hooking it around Beca's neck to pull her closer in for a plunging kiss and leaving Beca to…

 

“Make me cu -- uuuhh…”

 

Chloe's words were cut off when her hips dropped and her back arched.  Beca threw an arm over her stomach to steady her thrusts as she continued to rub frantically, sliding her fingers through Chloe’s red, swollen pussy.  She had to fight to keep her hand against Chloe, even as Chloe squeezed her thighs together to hold Beca in place.

 

A second hand -- Chloe's -- over Beca helped direct her orgasm, placing Beca's fingers right where she needed them, speeding them right up to a hard climax that contorted her body and snatched the breath from her lungs,her jaw dropping open in a silent cry.

 

Beca could feel Chloe's entire pussy tighten before delivering shuddering contractions through the woman's  entire body once, twice, three times, four...before Beca lost count, her own orgasm washing over her brought on by the way Chloe had been inadvertently, but relentlessly, rocking into her clit.   

 

The sensation was almost too much.  Beca hissed as Chloe scooted forward.  She rolled over and got on to her knees, pushing Beca back by the shoulders.

 

“Chloe, did you…did we...?” asked Beca trying to catch her breath.

 

Chloe dropped her head to Beca's chest and smiled against her skin.  “Well, Frankie did say, 'relax’.”

  
  



	9. On Earth As It Is In Heaven

Chloe wasn't sure what part was her favorite. Coming in full, uninhibited view of Beca or waking up next to her, strewn only in a sheet, exhausted, sore but happier than she could remember being in a long time.  Maybe ever. 

 

She reached over a sleeping, half-naked Beca to fumble for her phone on her nightstand. 10:47 a.m.  She knew if she hurried and if she didn’t dry her hair, she could make mass at noon, but then Beca rolled over, onto her stomach, her arm lolling over Chloe’s lower back and her hand coming to rest on a prominent hip, and an earthquake, the end of the world, wouldn’t have forced Chloe out of that bed. 

 

Her thoughts drifted back to last night.  

 

Chloe’s plan was to go to confession, have dinner with Beca and then meet her later at the club.  She was now an automatic VIP, Pauly not even bothering to check his list before unlatching the velvet rope and letting her through, always draping his bear-like arms around her for a hug. 

 

But at about the time Father Lewyn was probably hearing his first confession, Beca had Chloe on the couch, lying between her splayed legs, kissing and sucking at her neck.  As the last penance was given, most of Chloe’s clothes were piled up on the floor, next to where she and Beca were engaged in a very heavy make-out session that ended with Chloe unable to control her orgasm, not once or twice, but three times -- the last after grinding herself relentlessly on Beca’s stomach.  Needless to say, Beca almost missed her gig and Chloe was entirely too spent to do anything other than nap on and off while she waited for Beca to return. 

 

Once Beca had showered and climbed into bed next to Chloe, they spent the entire night, much as they had several nights a week over the last month or so:  touching themselves, touching each other, sometimes together, sometimes one watching the other, even directing the other to pinch her own nipple or rub her own clit, to sink a finger inside and fuck herself while the other watched, legs spread, swollen clits begging for mercy.  

 

The flashbacks made Chloe want to kiss Beca awake and climb on top of her, straddling her stomach.  Her pussy clenched thinking about how Beca’s eyes would be fixed on the darkened patch of fabric between Chloe’s legs.

 

There in the soft morning light, she closed her eyes and let her mind run with the fantasy. 

 

_ “You want to watch, don’t you?”  Chloe asked with a raised eyebrow.   _

 

_ Beca nodded, inhaling sharply, her teeth snagging her bottom lip.  _

 

_ “You want to feel me.” It wasn’t a question and Chloe didn’t wait for a response.  She didn’t need one. By now, she knew Beca and knew how much she loved to touch every inch of Chloe.   _

 

_ Chloe got onto her knees and shimmied her shorts down, rolling her hips forward and waiting with anticipation, hands on her own breasts, for Beca’s fingers to trail down her stomach and through a patch of trimmed red curls to work over an already-excited clit.  _

 

Chloe pressed her lips together to bite back a moan as Beca stirred beside her, quickly extinguishing the daydream, but doing little to blunt the pressure building between her legs.  

 

“W’time’s it?” Beca slurred, burying her face in the pillow before turning her head to face Chloe, her hair falling over her eyes.

 

Chloe brushed it away.  “Almost 11, baby.”

 

Beca grunted in response and started to fall back to sleep before her eyes shot open and she sat up.  “Wait, what about church?” 

 

“I know, Bec.  It’s OK,” Chloe said, running her hand through messy chocolate brown hair. 

 

“But Chlo, you missed confession yesterday because we were...you know, messing around.” 

 

Chloe smiled at how attentive and caring Beca could be, especially when it came to this part of her life.  “Don’t worry. I’ll go during the week while you’re at work. I’d much rather be here with you,” she said, kneeling in front of Beca, taking her face in her hands and kissing her soundly.  

 

“You sure?” Beca asked, smiling as she felt Chloe straddle her lap. 

 

“Don’t I seem sure?” Chloe said, sitting astride Beca’s thighs.  

 

She was undeniably wet, and Beca wasted no time shucking off Chloe’s shirt, bringing her arms around her back and pulling her close so she could re-attach their lips. “You’re so good to me,” she said in between kisses. 

 

“Why’s that?” Chloe mumbled, swiping her tongue up Beca’s lips. 

 

Beca pushed Chloe back slightly, dotting her decolletage with kisses, “Because,” kiss, “you know,” kiss, “that I always,” kiss, “wake up horny,” kiss, “and you’re almost,” kiss, “always here to help.”  

 

Chloe dropped her head back, exposing her neck, at which Beca didn’t hesitate to nip.  “ _ Almost  _ always?”

 

Beca grunted, Chloe’s skin in between her teeth.

 

Chloe snapped her head forward, not giving Beca much of a chance to leave a mark. “Show me what you do when I’m not here to give you a hand,” she said suggestively, now staring directly into steel blue eyes. 

 

It took Beca a moment, searching Chloe’s face to try to figure out if she was aware of what she just said or if it was an inadvertent double-entendre that will have her flushed and giggling into Beca’s shoulder as soon as she realized.   

 

But when Chloe’s gaze didn’t waver, didn’t falter, when she felt the density of Chloe’s expectant stare, Beca swallowed hard.  She knew without a doubt that what Chloe said was exactly what Chloe meant. 

 

Beca wasted no more time.  She gripped Chloe’s shoulders and somewhat roughly took her down to the mattress, falling on top of her and immediately nipping at any exposed flesh she could get her mouth, teeth, tongue on.

 

The way Chloe squirmed underneath her, digging her nails into her back only spurred Beca on. She pulled back, both of them breathless, tossing her shirt and her bra on to the floor to reveal a clean, unencumbered line from between her breasts, down her tight abs, to her almost-bare pussy.

 

Chloe reached out tentatively, wanting to touch, but she held back.  Beca took her hand and placed it on her lower belly, closing her eyes as Chloe’s fingers made contact with smooth, freshly shaved skin, fingers weaving through a thin, neatly trimmed strip of dark, wet curls.

 

Beca's hand followed, gripping Chloe's.  She hissed with pleasure, feeling the squeeze against her swollen pussy lips and hardening clit, intensifying the steady pulse of arousal she felt there.

 

Chloe, thinking she'd hurt Beca quickly withdrew her hand with a whispered, “Sorry.”

 

“Chlo, baby.  It's OK. It felt good.   _ Really  _ good.” Beca ducked her head and kissed from Chloe's lips, over her chin, down the column of her neck, to her breasts.

 

“Beca,” Chloe quietly pleaded, trying not to outright beg. 

 

Beca smiled against her skin before continuing her kisses over the graceful swell and wrapping her lips around a rosy pink nipple.  

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Chloe brought her hand up to pinch the other nipple, rolling it between her thumb and forefinger.

 

With her mouth still on Chloe, “You like that?”

 

Chloe's eyes were closed, her head pressed into the pillow beneath her and her lips pursed.  She only hummed in response.

 

Beca flicked Chloe with her tongue, pulling a gasp from the woman beneath her.  Satisfied, she sat back and watched as Chloe's other hand came up to tug at a now wet and very hard nipple.

 

“You look so good, Chlo,” she said as she fell forward again, one hand planted on the mattress, supporting her weight, the other slowly teasing the tip of her own clit.

 

When Beca gasped out at the contact, Chloe opened her eyes.  She was still toying with her nipples, but she was singularly focused on watching the way Beca was touching herself, grinding her pussy against her hand.  And Chloe wanted so badly to feel Beca on her, to be the one Beca was grinding on. The one she was coming on.

 

Her hands left her breasts and curled around Beca's waist.  The choice was simple, or should have been. Either pull Beca down on top of her or thrust her hips up to meet Beca's.  Instead, she just held Beca, watching her as lithe fingers spread her pussy lips, exposing a hard, swollen clit.

 

She licked her lips, thinking about what it might be like to bury her face in between Beca’s legs.  She wondered what Beca tasted like and whether she liked to have her clit licked or flicked? Nipped or sucked?  What made Beca moan? What made her hips thrust in desperation? What made her legs tense and quiver? 

 

Beca's fingers were getting more frantic as she stroked herself toward her release, and Chloe couldn't tear her eyes away as she watched Beca slip two fingers inside herself, moaning as they disappeared, only to reappear after merely a thrust or two covered in Beca.

 

Chloe wasted no time grabbing Beca's hand and licking her fingers clean, her tongue trailing to the tips to make sure she'd captured every last drop.  She let Beca withdraw them from her mouth, their eyes locked on one another the entire time, and Beca quickly slid them easily back inside herself.

 

She groaned out as her clit made contact with the palm of her hand, and Chloe felt the sheet beneath her dampen with how turned on she was simply watching Beca work herself over.  She reached up under Beca’s arms and raked her nails down her back, making her shudder and her nipples harden. Unable to resist, Chloe thrust her chest up to press their breasts together, brushing over sensitive skin. 

 

The thrill of having their nipples connect drove Beca’s fingers further inside herself, her hips absorbing her frantic thrusts. 

 

“Feel good?” Chloe asked.

 

Beca whimpered.

 

“Maybe I should try it too,” Chloe offered, eyebrow raised, just waiting for a reaction. 

 

Beca eyes snapped open at the suggestion.  She’d seen Chloe masturbate several times over the last month or so that they’d been together, but watching the way she touched herself was, well, Chloe elevated it to an art form.  And this time was no different, except it was made all the more erotic by the fact that they were touching themselves together. 

The arm that had been bearing Beca’s weight was about to give out, and she was disappointed.  She liked being on top of Chloe; it was easier to pretend she was fucking her, but lying next to her, their fingers in their respective pussies, was undeniably sexy too.

 

Beca lowered herself to Chloe’s side to watch. She’ll admit she was a voyeur, and Chloe liked to put on a show.  One hand draped over the soft, damp skin of Chloe’s thigh, spreading her legs wide to reveal red, swollen lips and an erect clit, all just begging to be manipulated.  It made Beca’s clit pulse in response, and she could have come at the mere scent of Chloe’s arousal alone, but she stopped touching herself and withdrew her hand from where it was nestled deep inside, instead preferring to rest her head near Chloe’s knee to watch. 

 

“You look so good, baby.  So ready to come.” 

 

Chloe could feel Beca’s breath on her pussy as she spoke, and the one finger that was rubbing her clit quickly became two as she rolled her hips into her hand, searching desperately for the right amount of friction.     

 

“That’s it,” Beca said, kissing her way up Chloe’s leg, stopping only to lick the deep crease between her pussy lips and her inner thigh.  “I love watching you touch yourself.” 

 

Chloe was wet enough that Beca caught a sweet taste of her and it only served to make her crave the woman more, but with a deep exhale to steady herself, she held back, crawling up Chloe’s body and kissing her.

 

Chloe moaned when she tasted herself on Beca’s lips and Beca smiled against her lips at Chloe’s reaction. 

 

“You taste so good,” she whispered in Chloe’s ear. 

 

Those four words did something to Chloe.  It wasn’t like she hadn’t heard them before but they never stirred emotion in her like this.  Sure they were a little dirty, and they turned her on, but more than that, they made her feel wanted -- and not just for sex.  Beca somehow made every part of her feel beautiful, desirable and desired, whether they were in bed making love, out getting ice cream or simply grocery shopping.

 

The way Beca loved her -- in that moment and always -- was so unconditional and so complete that it nearly brought tears to her eyes.  She never thought she’d be a crier during sex, but here she was, fighting back sobs with each tender, burning touch. 

 

Beca positioned herself next to Chloe, on her side, dragging her lips across her cheek, down her neck and across her chest.  Her tongue flicked a stiff nipple, making Chloe flinch involuntarily. 

 

Her eyes were trained on the way Chloe was working her clit, heels pressed into the mattress and Beca knew she was close. 

 

She slid her own hand between her legs to find her clit just as hard and sensitive as when she’d left it mere moments ago, and she started to rub herself again in sync with Chloe’s strokes.  “Almost there?” 

 

Chloe, feeling her orgasm start to tense in her lower belly, breathed out, “Mm-hmm.” 

 

Whether she intended it or not, her tone did something to Beca.  It was seductive and teasing and it made Beca crave Chloe that much more -- something she didn’t think was possible.

 

“Good.  I want to come with you.”  Beca’s voice was strained from holding back just about everything -- from her emotions for Chloe to her frustration at not being able to fuck her into the mattress like she wanted -- but that resolve that was weakening with each roll of Chloe’s hips and much faster than Beca anticipated.   

 

Before she knew it, she was on top of Chloe, needing to feel her closer, her tongue deep in Chloe’s mouth and suddenly, there were Chloe’s hands -- both of them -- cupping her face to pull her down. 

 

Reflexively, Beca reached up to mirror Chloe’s actions, her hands in red hair. She gasped and pulled away when she realized the position they were in, but it was too late. 

 

She felt Chloe’s warm, wet clit against hers, felt Chloe rock against her -- a few quick thrusts before she came on Beca’s pussy and Beca, thoroughly enjoying the subtle pulsing of Chloe’s orgasm beneath her, came almost immediately after. 

 

Spent, Beca draped her body over Chloe’s, half expecting her to freeze when she finally came out of her post-coital haze and realized what they’d (almost) done, but Chloe only caressed Beca’s smooth legs with her feet and breathed into the crook of Beca’s neck.  

 

It was, Beca thought to herself, as hot as not having sex could get...until the moment Beca decided she needed to get her hands, her mouth on Chloe.

 

And that moment was approaching like a runaway train.

 

XxxX

 

Beca speared a tomato in her salad before setting the fork back down on the plate.  

 

Stacie and Aubrey exchanged knowing glances. 

 

“Haven’t heard from her, huh?”  asked Aubrey, trying to hid her pity. 

 

Beca only shook her head.  “Not directly, no. We’ve been playing phone tag, but I can’t shake this feeling that she’s avoiding me when I call and then calling back when she knows I’m busy or can’t pick up.” 

 

It had been three days since Beca last talked to Chloe and she knew immediately, knew that moment in bed on Sunday was Chloe’s undoing.  She hid it well, but Beca just felt in her gut the conflict that hung over her. 

“You guys had sex, didn’t you?” Stacie’s question was just a little too enthusiastic.  It made Beca scrunch up her nose and Aubrey choke on her iced tea.

 

“No!  No. We didn’t have….” Beca swallowed hard, “sex.” 

 

“Convincing, Mitchell,” Stacie teased.  “She’s probably on her knees in church praying for more.  I bet you wish she were on her knees in front of you, huh?”

 

“We didn’t...how the fuck can you joke about this?” Beca wasn’t subtle about the way she stood up, shooting the chair back behind her.  The legs scraped the floor with a painful screech, drawing attention to their table. “Your best friend is clearly upset and you can’t get your fucking mind out of the gutter.” 

 

“Beca.  Bec --” Aubrey tried and failed to grab Beca’s wrist as she stormed past, out of restaurant, shooting a leveling glance over her shoulder at Stacie.     
  
“Chloe is fine,” Stacie said, almost absentmindedly as she returned to her lunch. “I think Beca’s the one who’s wound a little too tight about this.”

 

“Care to explain?” 

 

“Look,” Stacie wiped her mouth and set the napkin back across her lap.  “I don’t know if they had sex or not, but if they did, then Chloe was fine with letting it happen.  She’s religious. She’s not stupid or naive or gullible…” 

 

“No one ever said that…”

 

Stacie held up a hand, asking Aubrey to let her continue.  “And while I know it would never come to this with Beca, Chloe’s not afraid to say ‘no’.”

 

“I think Beca just feels guilty that she’s coming between Chloe and something that’s important to her.” 

 

“ _ Beca  _ is important to her,” Stacie stressed.  “Regardless of what actually happened, Chloe knew what she was doing.  It’s a good thing that they finally did it. I think it says a lot that Chloe was willing to trust Beca that much.”  

 

“Believe it or not, my dear, that might have been the more helpful thing to say.”  Aubrey arched an expectant eyebrow.

 

“Fine,” Stacie said, exasperated.  She tossed her napkin on the table and stood up.  “I’ll go talk to her.” 

 

Outside the restaurant, she spotted Beca getting into her car.  “Bec,” she yelled.” 

 

At the sound of her name, Beca glanced up only to see Stacie walking purposefully to her car.  She only rolled her eyes and proceeded to get back in, but Stacie bravely gripped the door before Beca could slam it shut.  

 

“What, Conrad?”

 

“Bec, what -- just tell me what happened between the two of you. Please.” 

 

“Stacie, I’m not going to indulge your perverted fantasies or break Chloe’s trust by telling you what we did or didn’t do.” 

 

“It’s not like that. Look, I actually think I can help, so just be honest.  Did you have sex or not?”

 

Beca put her head back on the seat and sighed, “Not.”

 

“But you came close?”

 

“I guess. Yes.” Beca said reluctantly, not making eye contact with Stacie. 

 

“And afterwards?”

 

“I don’t know,” she huffed.  “We kissed a little more and then we fell asleep together.”

 

“I would bet these perfect tits,” Stacie said as she cupped her breasts, “that Chloe is just trying to work through all this.  And not in a bad way. These last few months are the happiest I think I’ve ever seen her, especially since Charlie died, and maybe ever.  She likes you so much, Beca.”

 

Beca looked up at her with an odd mix of both relief and concern.  

 

“More than that, she clearly trusts you because she wouldn’t give up something as important to her as religion for just anyone and she wouldn’t  _ almost  _ have sex with just anyone. Whatever she’s doing right now, I can almost guarantee that she’s not running from you or dodging you.  She’s thinking about what she needs to do to be with you. You’re so good to her and for her, Bec. Please don’t give up on her.” 

 

“Conrad, so help me if --”

 

“Mitchell,” she said, squeezing her boobs again.  “I wouldn’t put these beauties at stake if it wasn’t a sure thing.  Trust me.” 

 

XxxX

  
Stacie was right.  Chloe was at church.  It was the first time in a long time -- nearly two weeks -- much of that taken up with everything Beca.  

 

But contrary to Beca’s fears, Chloe had no regrets and very little guilt about everything that had happened between them, even their most recent encounter. 

 

It had been a good, really good, two weeks, Chloe thought.  They made her happy. They made her feel like she could actually love someone again without that all-consuming fear that they’d be ripped away from her, and she was genuinely starting to feel more like herself.  She knew she had Beca to thank...and she thought she knew just the way to do it.

 

She smirked to herself, but quickly schooled her expression when she felt a presence next to her.  

 

“Hey stranger.”

 

Chloe lifted her head.  “Father Lewyn.” 

 

“Nice to see you, Chloe.  It’s been a while.” 

 

“Sorry -- I --”

 

Father Lewyn held up his hands “No, no.  No need to pack a suitcase for a Catholic guilt trip.  I promise. I was just concerned and wanted to make sure everything was OK.”  He bumped her shoulder. “So, is everything OK?” 

 

“It is actually,” Chloe’s smile was easy.  She couldn’t help it.

 

“Good. So, what’s his name?” 

 

“What?”  Chloe was taken aback.

 

“C’mon Chloe.  I know I’m a priest and I’m a little long in the tooth, but I’m not completely -- 

what do you kids say? -- OOTL.”  He smiled proudly. 

 

Chloe couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“I’ve seen it before. Everyone is all about church and bible study until they meet their soulmate and then they vanish.  So, who is he? Tell me about him.” 

 

“I’m not abandoning church, Father,” Chloe said earnestly.  “This is all still really important to me.” 

 

“I know.  I never said that, Chloe, and it’s totally OK to fall in love.  In fact, if I’m being honest -- because let’s face it, what other choice do I have, amiright?” He elbowed her in jest. “I’m glad to see you have a bit of a distraction, though I hope he’s more than that.” 

 

Chloe wasn’t sure how to tell Father Lewyn that he was really only half-right.  She didn’t know if she should correct him or just play along, but being in the house of God, sitting next to a priest, she didn’t really want to take the gamble. 

 

“Father Lewyn, I don’t know how to say this,” Chloe ran her fingers through her hair.  “He’s, um, he’s a she.” 

 

“Oh my --” He gasped, a reaction that startled Chloe, and every muscle in her tensed.  She was sure he was going to tell her she was unwelcome at church, that he he didn’t want to be privy to her sick, predatory choices, that he was going to kick her out.  Instead, he just shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Chloe. It was incredibly narrow-minded of me to just assume it was a guy.” 

 

“You’re not -- that’s not…?”  Chloe said, dumbfounded. 

 

Father Lewyn chuckled.  “I know some of my brethren frown on it, or worse, and I might get smoted for what I’m about to say, but to quote that Hamilton guy --”

 

“Lin-Manuel Miranda?”

 

“Yes!  Him. To quote Mr. Miranda, ‘love is love is love.’  I really believe that because who am I or anyone else to judge, except...” He points skyward.  “The Big Guy.” 

 

“Really?”  Chloe always knew Father Lewyn was different, but his response exceeded her expectations. 

 

“You sound surprised.” 

 

“I am.  I just thought same-sex relationships were a big no-no.  You know, Leviticus 18:22.”

 

Father Lewyn laughed out loud, “Leviticus is...well, I could go on for days about Leviticus, but I’ll just say this: you can’t live your life by the Bible, Chloe.” He realized what he said and quickly backtracked.  “I mean you can. I do, of course, but you live it by your interpretation, no one else’s. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of translations of the Bible. Who’s to say which one is,” he made air quotes with his fingers, “right? All it takes is someone like St. Jerome to mess up one word and before you know it, Moses is sporting a fine pair of horns.” 

 

The reference went over Chloe’s head, but she trusted that Father Lewyn knew what he was talking about, and she made a mental note to Google “Moses with horns” when she got home, just out of curiosity.

 

“I’ll tell you what I tell my pre-Cana students.  What matters most is that she --” 

 

He pauses, a silent cue that Chloe immediately takes.  “Beca.”   
  
“Thank you.  What matters most is that Beca shares your faith.”

 

Chloe’s shoulders slump. “She doesn’t though, Father Lewyn. She’s not religious at all.” 

 

“Ah, rookie mistake, Chloe.  People often confuse religion and faith, but they are two very different things.  You can still have faith, you can still follow the Golden Rule without having to follow any doctrine --”

 

His statement, the fact that the two are so vastly different in his mind, staggered Chloe.  She blinked, trying to absorb all that Father Lewyn was saying, while trying to right herself from the sudden shift in perspective. 

 

“As long as she has faith in you and you have faith and trust in one another --” 

 

“We definitely have that.  She’s...she’s -- I don’t have the words right now.  She's attentive and caring and supportive. Patient.  And just...incredible.”

 

Father Lewyn hummed.  “And have you told Beca about Charlie yet?”  

 

“Not yet.”

 

“Really?  Well, I know how protective you are about that part of your life, and I think it speaks volumes that she’s been so understanding and accommodating without even knowing why you're slow to trust.” 

 

“It definitely says a lot about who she is.  I got really lucky.” 

 

“I’d have to agree with you on that. But you are going to tell her, right?” Father Lewyn asked expectantly. 

 

“I am.  I am. Definitely.  She needs to know.”   
  
“She does.  And you owe her that.”

 

Chloe nods in agreement. 

 

“I can tell that she’s a good one, Chloe, and good for you, so let her be all of that for you, OK?  I trust you’ll figure everything else out.” 

 

“Thanks, Father Lewyn.”   
  
“Anytime, young lady.  I’m happy to see you happy.”  He stands up and exits the pew, straightening his white collar.   “Oh, and tell Stacie I’m still praying for her.” 

 

Chloe laughs loudly, clapping her hand over her mouth to contain the noise.  It makes Father Lewyn smile.

 

“I better see you around, Chloe.” 

 

“You will.”  Chloe smiles and collects her bag, immediately finding her phone to call Beca. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://christandpopculture.com/bizarre-reason-michelangelos-moses-horns/


	10. Take Me To Church

Stacie heard the key in the lock and stood in the entryway of her and Chloe’s apartment, her hands on her hips, waiting.

 

Chloe looked up from her phone as she entered and not a moment to soon, avoiding running headlong into her roomate.  “Did I break curfew or something?” she asked as she set down her bag. 

 

“You better call your girlfriend before you don't have a girlfriend anymore.  You can't keep ditching her.”

 

“It's funny you say that because I called her on the way home from church.  I told her I needed to talk to her. She's coming over at 7, which means I have two hours to get ready and you have two hours to find somewhere else to stay for the night.”

 

“That's not hard.  Are you going to tell her about -- ?”

 

“Yes.  I’d decided I wanted to tell her after our weekend together, and then I talked to Father Lewyn about it and he gave me his blessing.” 

 

“He -- wait -- what?  He was OK with it?”

 

“Yeah,” Chloe took her phone from her back pocket and flopped onto the couch.  “He was really impressed that Beca has been so willing to wait for me and he said, you know, as long as we’re there for each other and supportive of each other, which Beca has totally been, he doesn’t see any reason why I can’t love who I love.” 

 

“Wait, you love Beca?” 

 

Hearing her words parroted back to her made Chloe pause, but only long enough to take a deep breath and smile.  “Yeah. Yeah, I do. I love her.” 

 

“Ohmigod, Chloe!”  Stacie wasted no time pouncing on Chloe, who put her hands up to absorb the impact of Stacie’s body on hers.  “This is huge!” 

 

“OK.  OK,” Chloe said, laughing.  “I think you might be more excited about this than I am.” 

 

“Well, of course I’m excited.  My best friend is in love. And I don’t know anyone who deserves it more,” Stacie peeled herself from Chloe and sat next to her on the couch, her legs tucked under her. 

 

“Pretty sure you’re still in the running, according to Father Lewyn.” 

 

Stacie looked at Chloe with a question.  

 

“He said he’s still praying for you.” 

 

“Father Lewyn actually said that?” 

 

Chloe laughed.  “Yep.” 

 

Stacie stood up and smoothed her hands down her body.  “Well, maybe tonight will be my lucky night. And if I’m going to get down and dirty, I guess I better clean up, huh?”   

 

“That’s some logic, Stace.”  Chloe turned her attention to her phone as Stacie started down the hallway, before stopping and rushing back to the couch.  

 

She gripped Chloe by the shoulders.  “Wait. If you’re going to tell Beca tonight, does that mean…?”

 

Chloe bit her lip. “I hope so.  I mean, I want it to.”    
  
“Why didn’t you say that in the first place, Chlo?” Stacie pulled Chloe to her feet.  “Nevermind me. Let’s get you ready,” she said as she dragged Chloe down the hall by her wrist.  “First things first,” she steered Chloe to her bed, “have you done any, uh, landscaping lately?”

 

“Yes, Stacie,” Chloe said, with a roll of her eyes.  “Beca and I haven’t had sex yet, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t…” 

 

“OK.  OK,” Stacie held her hands up.  “I don’t need the details. I mean, I  _ do  _ if you’re giving them up, but...”

 

Chloe couldn’t help but laugh at Stacie’s feeble attempt to hold back her enthusiasm and excitement.

 

“I’m sorry,” Stacie said, sitting next to Chloe and taking her hand.  “I’m just -- this is a big deal and I want it to be special for you. And for Beca.  What can I do to help? And if you tell me to fuck off, I’ll do that too.”

 

Chloe didn’t respond immediately, and the silence was killing Stacie. 

 

So…?” she said after a minute, prodding Chloe.  

 

“Actually, there is something you can do.  You know that gauzy white shirt you have? The one that buttons up the front?”

 

A predatory smile stretched over Stacie’s face -- one that said she knew exactly the shirt Chloe meant -- and she nodded. 

 

“Do you mind if I borrow it?”

 

XxxX

 

Beca was nervous.  Despite everything Stacie said, despite all the reassurances, she was worried that Chloe was going to tell her she felt entirely too guilty giving up her religion for their relationship.  Somewhere in the way back of her mind, she always knew that possibility existed but suddenly it was palpable. 

 

Chloe was nervous.  There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to have sex with Beca -- she thought about it more times than she could count.  And she knew she wanted to  _ be  _ with Beca.  She just wasn’t sure how to tell Beca as much, or if Beca felt the same in the first place.  Maybe Chloe had held her at bay for entirely too long. Maybe she lost interest. Maybe she wasn’t willing to share Chloe with her religion. 

 

She jumped out of her thoughts and off the couch when she heard a knock at the door.  It was undeniably Beca -- the drum line for Queen’s “We Will Rock You.” It made her smile briefly before she remembered the task in front of her.  Then she thought about the reward -- so to speak -- that hopefully awaited both of them after their talk and smiled again. 

 

“Hey,” Beca said softly when Chloe opened the door.  Her hands were shoved in her pockets, resisting the impulse to surge forward and press her lips to Chloe’s -- an inaction that felt completely unnatural and ran counter to their usual, easy affection. 

 

Chloe wished she could feel Beca’s body against hers.  She needed that comfort right now, but she merely stepped aside to allow Beca in. “Hi, Bec,” she said, closing her eyes when she caught the scent of Beca’s shampoo that always made her stomach flutter. Every time felt like the first time she was smelling it.  “I thought it might be a good idea for us to talk.” 

 

“I’ve been thinking the same thing,” said Beca.  She watched as Chloe walked past her to sit on the couch, distracted by the way she tucked her hair behind her ear.  “Because I don’t think it’s any surprise that I really like you, Chlo, but,” Beca dropped down next to Chloe, close, but not touching, “the hot and cold is -- it’s hard.  And, I just need to know what's going on with you because I don’t know if I can continue like this. Or want to.” 

 

Chloe swallowed hard.  She knew Beca was incredibly, almost inhumanly patient with her, and she loved her for it. But Beca's frustration was evident and reinforced the importance and necessity of what Chloe was about to do. “I understand,” she said earnestly, her gaze unwavering.  “And, it’s nothing you did, or didn’t do, Beca. That’s -- that’s kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I...there’s something...someone, actually, standing in the way of...this. Of us.”

 

If it weren’t for Stacie, Beca would have been certain that Chloe was breaking up with her. Or worse, cheating on her.  Instead, she suspected Chloe was finally ready to tell her about Charlie. 

 

She couldn't help it.  As frustrated as she was with Chloe, she also couldn't stay away and couldn't stay upset with her, especially when she knew how this was gnawing at her.

 

Warm fingers surrounded Chloe’s and squeezed gently.  Chloe smiled weakly, not really sure how to read the gesture -- whether it was reassurance or an easy let-down, relief that Chloe seemed to be the one putting an end to their time together.

 

Chloe was too on-edge to play a guessing game with herself or to get mired in the what-ifs of Beca's intent so she decided there and then to end the mystery.

 

“Assuming you want their to be an us,” she said quietly, trying to keep the hope out of her voice.

 

“I do.  Very much,” Beca said, softly sliding her hands into Chloe's hair and pulling her closer to kiss her. When she pulled away, Chloe could see the worry in Beca's eyes.  “But I need you to be honest with me and I need it to be soon, Chlo.”

 

Chloe heaved a shuttering sigh, a cleansing breath.  “I had a brother. His name was Charlie, and…”

  
Hearing the story of Charlie’s death once before did absolutely nothing to blunt the sadness but, the real heartbreak was witnessing how the mere mention of his name wrecked Chloe.

 

It only took the sight of Chloe welling up for Beca’s demeanor to shift, turning attentive and caring as she gently took Chloe’s face in her hands again, caressing her cheeks with her thumbs, stopping her tears in their tracks, as Chloe spoke about the night of the concert. 

 

“Thank you for telling me all that, Chlo.  I know it couldn’t have been easy,” Beca said once Chloe had finished.  

 

Chloe sobbed, wondering what she did to deserve someone like Beca, wondering  _ if _ she deserved someone like Beca.  She didn’t mean to be a tease, didn’t want to lead Beca on or play some cutesy cat and mouse game and she felt so guilty for giving in to all of it because she couldn’t move on from her brother’s death.  

 

“I -- I, um, I didn’t tell you so that you’d pity me or because I thought it might excuse my behavior.  I just...I wanted you to know that part of me because even now, 10 years later, I still think about him.  All the time.” 

 

“Chlo, look at me, baby,” she said, pausing until Chloe’s eyes connected with hers. “No one will ever love you the way Charlie loved you.  He was... _ is _ ...your brother.  But I love you too and no one will ever love you the way  _ I _ can.  I want to prove that to you, but you have to let me show you. You have to let me be there for you.” 

 

“You already are.  And you have. You’ve proven it over and over again, so many times in so many ways -- big and small -- that I...I’ve lost count -- ”

 

Chloe’s breath hitched.  She wasn't sure if it was another sob, or the feel of Beca’s lips on her cheeks, gently kissing away her tears.  She closed her eyes and hummed, letting herself have this with Beca, losing every and all sense of how many places their bodies were touching and where.

 

It’s why she almost missed the way Beca nuzzled her cheek, the way her mouth found Beca’s like a magnet.  Like a beacon beckoning her ship to safe shores. It was an exploratory kiss, shy and tentative. No tongue.  Just all soft lips and long, slow even breaths, and Chloe's fingers scratching lightly at the nape of Beca's neck, which made them both sigh with contentment. 

 

Each touch of their lips seemed to last and last until one would pull away to find a new angle or a new place for a kiss -- cheek, chin, jaw, neck, chest -- and the other would chase her mouth, not satisfied to be apart from the other for anything more than a mere second.  Nevermind oxygen. Nevermind sloppy or graceful. This was their dance now. Desperate need. Aching want. This was the cap finally coming off their bottle of restraint.

 

Chloe pressed harder against Beca.  Closer. And Beca responded, dropping one hand to pull Chloe in by the small of her back, the other gripping her under her knee and lifting it over her lap. 

 

Their kisses grew deeper, longer and more intense.  Breaths clipped and tight, as their chests heaved against one another, both preoccupied with finding any available skin to lick and nip.

 

From her new perch astride Beca, Chloe broke the kiss to look down between them.  If she concentrated hard enough, she could almost feel the heat from Beca’s pussy on hers -- a thought that sent a trickle of moisture down her thigh, as if she weren’t wet enough already.

 

It made her grind down onto Beca’s stomach, the seam of her yoga pants rubbing against her clit just right, making it incredibly sensitive. 

 

She felt Beca’s hands.  On her back. On her ass.  Then at her hips, squeezing, urging her to continue.  And finally coming to rest high on the tops of her thighs, Beca's thumbs caressing the insides.

 

“Feel good?” she looked up at Chloe with a knowing smirk.

 

“You always feel good, Bec,” Chloe said, whimpering as she felt Beca's palms smoothing up under her shirt, stopping only when they hit hard nipples that were straining against the fabric of Chloe's bra.

 

Beca looked up in surprise when Chloe pushed her hands back down and gripped the hem of her shirt whisking it off over her head, but her mouth fell open when Chloe reached around with one hand, unhooking her bra.  As it slipped slightly off her shoulders, Beca reached up to gently to slide it down Chloe's arms and away from her, letting it fall between them.

 

Sure, she had seen her fair share of breasts before -- of course she had -- but Chloe's were a sight to behold.  Full and firm, they were a perfect fit for Chloe's trim but muscular frame. Creamy skin, punctuated with rosy pink areolas and plump nipples, all surrounded with a dusting of ginger freckles.  And for the first time in her life, Beca was overwhelmed. She didn't know where to start worshipping the beautiful woman before her, who was looking at her shy, but expectant. 

  
Chloe arched her back, pushing her chest forward, giving consent for Beca to touch her, and Beca couldn’t resist any longer.  She needed to feel perfection. 

 

She palmed a breast, 100 percent certain it was the last one she would ever touch, ever  _ wanted  _ to touch.  Her other hand slipped to Chloe’s back, pulling her closer so she could wrap her lips around a semi-hard nipple.  The collision of Beca’s warm, wet mouth on sensitive, charged skin made Chloe throw her head back and sent her hips rocking hard against Beca. 

 

“I really want to fuck you, Chloe. I want my mouth on you, my tongue... in you,” Beca whispered against heated skin. 

 

It was the heat of the moment and Beca was incredibly turned on.  The words, while she meant them -- God, did she! -- just kind of came out, but after they did, she wasn’t sure whether she’d crossed a line with Chloe.  Whether she’d killed the mood. 

 

Chloe answered her question when fingers that had woven their way through Beca’s hair earlier to keep her close almost reflexively tightened and tugged her head back towards a desperate, needy breast that had been neglected for far too long.  

 

Beca was determined to make up for lost time and Chloe wasn’t about to stop her, nudging her  towards her other nipple begging for attention. 

 

She happily compiled with Chloe’s request, and if Chloe weren’t so turned on, she would have chuckled at Beca’s eagerness.  Instead, what was supposed to be a moan came out as a squeak as Beca lavished slow licks and long, drawn-out sucks on what were now very erect pink tips. 

 

It was clear the way were breathing -- like they’d just completed an Ironman -- that they were both incredibly turned on, and Beca decided neither could (or should) wait any longer.  Afterall, they’d waited long enough. 

 

In Beca’s mind, it didn’t matter if the sex was good, if the orgasm rendered her helpless, or even if she orgasmed at all.  All she wanted, all she cared about, was that she could finally be this way, this close, this intimate, with Chloe. 

 

Without a second thought, she wrapped Chloe’s legs around her waist before gripping her under her thighs and whisking her off to the bedroom, all the while whispering her the depth of her love across Chloe’s chest. 

 

XxxX

 

Beca gently guided Chloe to the bed, landing half on top of her, half next to her, dipping her head for a kiss.  But it was a kiss that Chloe rejected, pushing a confused Beca away slightly so that she could sneak out from under her.  

 

“Don’t go anywhere. I just, um, I have to pee,” Chloe giggled.  It made Beca roll her eyes in an unsuccessful attempt to hide the smile that broke out across her face.  She couldn’t help it, couldn’t help that Chloe’s ability to be adorable and hot all at once both melted her and turned her on.  

 

But no sooner did she have that thought, Chloe appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, dressed only in a gauzy white shirt, the buttons down the front completely open, with only silky black boy shorts underneath -- a far, very far cry from the first time she spent the night with Beca. And suddenly, the choice between sweet and sexy was clear. 

 

Chloe approached Beca with confidence, standing in between her legs and closing her eyes as Beca smoothed her hands over the backs of her thighs, the swell of her ass and up her sides, dropping back down to hook her thumbs in the waistband of Chloe’s undies. She waited for Chloe to nod before sliding the boy shorts back down her legs to the floor.  

 

“I know you just put these on but…” 

 

“I only put them on so you could take them off,” Chloe said, placing a gentle hand on Beca’s shoulder to balance as she freed herself from the undergarment.  

 

Beca stood to kiss her and started to undo the button on her jeans, only to feel hands on hers. “Let me,” Chloe said. “I want to feel you, all of you, tonight.” 

 

After taking off Beca’s jeans, Chloe gripped the hem of Beca's t-shirt, pulling it off over her head and unhooking her bra, seemingly in one fluid motion.  Her underwear -- navy blue bikinis -- followed quickly thereafter. 

 

Chloe had glimpsed -- and sometimes a little more -- Beca when they’d been in bed together, touching each other, but she’d never seen her completely bare and so very uninhibited.

  
Before she knew it, she was being pulled onto the bed and again found herself in Beca’s lap.  Her hands twisted in the bed sheets on either side of her, instead of where she really wanted them to be.

 

She suddenly couldn’t look at Beca, couldn’t find her voice, but as always Beca seemed to know what she needed, even before she said it.

 

Beca's hands found Chloe's, gently gripping her around the wrists and bringing them up to her chest.

 

“I want,” Chloe swallowed. “Can I touch you, Bec?” her voice rasped with uncertainty.

 

But in Beca's mind there was no question, no hesitation.  She wanted Chloe to feel her just as much as she wanted to feel Chloe.  Maybe more. She placed her hands over Chloe's on her breasts and squeezed, gasping at the pleasurable pressure that it stirred throughout her body and reflexively bucking her hips. 

 

The motion pitched Chloe forward into Beca, into a deep kiss, as she continued to knead Beca's chest.  She could feel Beca’s nipples hardening under her palms and gave them each a gentle tug before sliding her arms around her neck and enjoying the way their breasts seemed to fit so perfectly together.

 

Chloe sighed at the contact, her lips parting, and Beca took the opportunity to finally, finally kiss Chloe the way she'd wanted to for so long.  That's not to say their kisses up until now didn't make Beca's toes curl, but there was something about this kiss -- her tongue meeting Chloe's for the first time. It felt like the pop of a sparkler when it comes into contact with a flame.

 

The fact that Chloe was so eager, kissing back with a hunger in her eyes and in her movements, drove Beca just a little crazier than she was already.

 

Chloe had begun to work her hips faster against Beca, and from the angle of Beca's head, she could see how turned on Chloe was -- the evidence shiny and slick across her stomach and even the top of her pussy. 

 

She had to fight the urge to fuck Chloe hard and quick, Stacie's voice in her head choosing that moment to remind her to “Go slow.”  But this time it wasn’t because she knew Chloe was trying to reconcile her feelings about Beca and her religion. It was because Beca wanted this -- the sex and the relationship -- to last. She'd thought about this moment for so long and, truth be told, she couldn't even touch herself when she did.  In her fantasy, her first time with Chloe, their first time together, was hot and passionate and charged, but it was almost too pure a vision. One that she didn't want to want to taint.

 

Yet, with each touch of their nipples, with each brush of their tongues, each roll of their hips in search of more pressure, more friction, that seemingly innocent fantasy was soon so far out of reach, it seemed like a dot on the horizon.

 

Chloe was indescribably gorgeous, with an underlying vulnerability that Beca had never encountered before.  As a result, it took her a long time to figure how to walk that delicate line between wanting to protect Chloe and wanting to ravage her before realizing she could do both. 

 

Beca's love for Chloe just seemed to radiate off her in waves, and Chloe could bask in it for hours.  It changed with the mood of the moment -- sometimes sweet and sometimes downright dirty -- but never wavered in its intensity or its sincerity.

 

The way Beca was trailing her fingers up and down Chloe's back made her shiver, and Beca wrapped her up in surprisingly strong arms to hold her and still her.

 

As she did, she licked up Chloe's neck to her lips.  “Beca…” Chloe whimpered against Beca's mouth. Beca only hummed a response, too preoccupied with nipping at the skin along Chloe's jaw.

 

“Bec- Beca,” Chloe said again, this time with audible urgency in her voice, which startled Beca enough to pull back.

 

She could see the desperation in Chloe's eyes and wondered if it mirrored her own.  But there was something else -- worry? Or maybe panic? -- that stopped Beca in her tracks. 

 

Without asking any questions, she pulled Chloe onto her side and laid down next to her, facing her.  They were both quiet, each needing this moment to process what they were about to do, to realize there was no going back.  

 

Beca gently placed her hand on Chloe’s cheek, stroking her face, watching that look slowly dissipate across her features and giving way to a calm that settled between them.  

 

Chloe lifted Beca’s hand and turned her head to place a kiss to the woman’s palm before directing it to come to rest on her chest  -- a gesture that made Beca smile and the apprehension fall away from her shoulders. 

 

Beca could feel how fast Chloe’s heart was beating and she leaned forward to place a comforting kiss on her lips. 

 

“I love you, too,” Chloe said against Beca’s mouth. 

 

“Hmm?” Beca was slightly confused by Chloe’s admission, but couldn’t find it in her to disrupt the soft, steady pants of Chloe’s breath on her face.

 

“Earlier, after I told you about Charlie, you said you loved me.  And I didn't say it back just then but I’m telling you now, I love you too.  And I want you to.make love to me.”

 

Beca paused, waiting for Chloe to change her mind.  

 

When nothing filled the silence between them, she surged forward gently nudging Chloe onto her back, settling between her legs.  “Make love to me, Beca,” she said again, this time more certain. More confident. More desperate.

 

She closed her eyes as Beca explored the hills and valleys of her abs with her tongue and kissed down her belly, right to the top of a beautifully wet, swollen, yet surprisingly bare, pussy.  Beca’s hand replaced her mouth, slowly exploring, her every touch like 10,000 tiny miracles across her freshly shorn skin. 

 

Chloe lifted her head to watch Beca.  “Do you like it?”

 

Beca said nothing.  She only ran her hand across it again before sliding herself back so that her head was directly between Chloe's legs, so she could take a long, slow lick of Chloe’s slit. 

 

It wasn't her first taste of Chloe, but it was her first time, licking the soft skin at the apex of her thighs -- skin that she’d only previously explored with her fingers. This was an entirely different, more scintillating sensation all together. 

 

Beca moaned at the contact. 

 

Chloe moaned at the contact and tensed, her thighs snapping back around Beca’s head.

 

“Relax, Chlo,” Beca whispered, gently stroking the insides of Chloe’s thighs, getting her to splay her legs again.  “That’s it,” and with the side of her finger, she swept a gentle stroke over Chloe's clit. Once. Again. And again, until she built up a steady rhythm, though she knew it wasn’t the one Chloe needed to come.  

 

She purposely diverted from that cadence, once again replacing her hand with her mouth.  The shift in touch, in pressure, in warm wetness made Chloe’s back arch and her heels dig into the mattress, both pushing away from Beca, while feeling like she couldn’t get her close enough.  

 

Beca ran her tongue over Chloe's sensitive clit, feeling it grow harder, more erect with each lick.  When she wrapped her lips around it and started to suck, Chloe's hips came off the mattress and Beca threw an arm across her body to steady her.  

 

As Chloe's body slowly adjusted to Beca’s ministrations, she propped herself up on her elbows to watch the way her girlfriend was tonguing her pussy.  The sight unfolding between her legs was unbearably hot, and Beca was being anything but delicate, yet Chloe felt nothing but comfort and safety. 

 

Allowing herself to settle into the patterns Beca’s mouth was making, Chloe let her head fall back to the pillow while her hips, Beca’s tongue, and that image of Beca between her legs did the work.  

 

She was starting to feel her orgasm coil up inside her when Beca pulled away, slipping two fingers easily inside. 

 

“You're so tight,” Beca said as she felt the contraction of Chloe’s pussy around her.

 

As Beca stroked her from the inside, Chloe’s eyes slammed shut.  Nothing in her life had ever felt this good and this agonizing. She tried to moan, but the only sound she seemed capable of making were short whimpers and gasps that punctuated her rapid breathing.

 

She grew uncontrollably wetter and though she could barely stand the thought of Beca working her beyond this point, she knew she needed to feel more of Beca to come.  She reached down, spreading her pussy lips and exposing her clit to Beca, urging her take it in her mouth, which she did without hesitation, nipping at it as she thrust in and out of Chloe.  

 

“Harder, baby,” Chloe managed to eek out, and Beca compiled, pushing harder into her, rocking her whole body.  

 

She couldn't believe the things Beca was doing to her or the way she responded.  She might have forgotten how good sex felt, but she knew it never felt  _ this  _ good.

 

Chloe pushed herself down on Beca’s fingers wanting to feel her deeper in her pussy, wanting to come and, at the same time, desperate not to lose the feeling of Beca inside her, on her. But she knew she couldn't hold on for much longer.

 

“Bec... Beca, baby, Im...I'm going to...oh --”

 

Beca cut her off, slipping her fingers out and pushing her tongue inside.  It was the pressure Chloe needed to come.

 

The sensation was overwhelming and she tried to push Beca away, wanting to avoid any embarrassing effects, but Beca reached up to find Chloe’s hand and link their fingers, squeezing to tell her she was because perfectly happy where she was, perfectly happy to let Chloe come in her mouth.

 

Chloe was too far gone to argue or to be uncomfortable from anything other than the orgasm building low in her belly. How could she be when Beca was the one between her legs, making love to her, manipulating her body to this frenzied point. She'd think about how to return the favor later but, for now, all she could focus on was the way Beca’s tongue was moving inside her like waves. 

 

Her own hand moved to her clit to get her there even faster. And Beca, distracted by the way Chloe rubbed herself, nearly forgot that Chloe was so close to coming.  But the feel of Chloe’s pussy tightening around her tongue, refocused her and with one last, long moan, Chloe’s entire body tensed, her orgasm shuttering through her entire body, before collapsing.  She had only enough strength to pull Beca to her chest. 

 

“You OK,” Beca asked, kissing her shoulder. 

 

Chloe sighed, content, happy and relieved.  “I’m more than OK.” 


	11. Amen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks, Jennie Jennie, for chapter 8...and for everything after, especially for "softly demanding" that I fill the spaces between us with words I didn't know I needed to say...or could say.

Beca remembered that night in flashes, in quick snapshots: Chloe’s toes twitching against her calf, her lips on Beca’s neck pressing sleepy kisses there. She knows her hand came to rest on Chloe’s belly, fingers gently, aimlessly drifting across taut muscles, and as exhausted as she was, she can vividly recall the radiating heat of Chloe’s pussy that seemed to silently but unmistakably plead for her attention.

 

She was finally awoken by pressure on her lips and a not unpleasant weight on her chest, her vision obscured by red hair that smelled of citrus.  The curtains were drawn, but she could tell that it was still somewhere in the middle of the night, and they couldn’t have been asleep for too long. 

 

Chloe was kissing her awake and even though it was dark, she could see that look in her eyes; she knew it far too well at this point and, until tonight, always had to walk away from it.  Now though, she could kiss and kiss and kiss back. She could, if she wanted -- and she oh, she wanted -- feel every inch of Chloe’s body. Nothing off limits. Nothing held back. 

 

Feeling the way Chloe clung to her, Beca couldn’t imagine how she kept her hands and mouth off her for so long, how she managed to walk away on those nights when she wanted nothing more than to rush to her, hold on to her and never let her leave. 

  
Chloe sighed into their kiss, relaxing into Beca’s embrace, knowing exactly where to settle her hips, her breasts and her shoulders to edge ever closer to Beca, even though she always felt like she could never get close enough, like there would never be as much skin touching as she wanted.  Needed.

 

But that thought was soon lost to the intensity of their kissing.  Beca’s mouth seemed like it was everywhere. Chloe couldn’t keep up, and she couldn’t deny she was horny again (or still).  As Beca’s tongue flicked against hers, Chloe’s hips seemed to have a mind of their own, pressing Beca firmly into the mattress.

 

The sudden inability to move easily, freely, halted Beca's motions, and she tilted her head, to look at Chloe, who wore nothing, nothing but a smirk and wore it so well.

 

Beca smirked back, wheels turning about all the things she wanted to do with Chloe, right now, tomorrow, 10 years from now, but she bided her time, letting Chloe take her over.

 

There was something about being on top of Beca, dominating Beca, being in control that excited Chloe. While she was the one who'd pinned Beca's hands above her head, and it was her lips on Beca's, she still loved the way that Beca looked at her, watched her every movement with a hunger, matched only by a mix of love and reverence that -- for as in command as Chloe was in that moment -- leveled her. 

 

She sucked in a sharp breath as she let the feeling wash over her, as she lost herself in the way Beca was pulling her down, snuffing out every fraction of space between them, and lost count of all the places their bodies connected. Each touch, however fleeting, seemed to linger indefinitely.

 

An inadvertent shiver from the contact, heated as it was, as they were, made Chloe’s body roll into Beca’s, her head dropping to Beca’s chest, her mouth automatically finding its way to the exposed skin there, nipping up the column of her neck, stopping only to bite Beca’s chin. 

 

Beca gasped at the sharp press of teeth into her skin,  the oddly pleasurable pain that shot through her. And as fast as the sensation was there, it was gone again, soothed by Chloe’s soft tongue that was soon in her mouth, sucking on her own lips and tongue. 

 

The dirty things Chloe was doing with her mouth tested Beca’s patience, her resolve. Watching Chloe take control, take what she wanted, further spurred her on until Beca couldn’t contain it anymore. 

 

She gripped Chloe’s shoulders, sliding out from under her to flip her over. Chloe turned her head, the left side of her face buried in the pillow, and looked up at Beca who was astride her back.   

 

“I want to fuck you,” she growled into Chloe’s ear, and Chloe started to turn onto her back, but Beca held her firmly in pace.  She could see the look of confusion written in Chloe’s eyes and sought to allay it with kisses down her shoulder and across the expanse of her back, sliding herself down the length of her body until her pussy came into contact with the round curves of Chloe’s backside. 

 

Beca started slowly, rolling her hips into Chloe, her weight holding Chloe’s down.  Until the first few thrusts, it hadn’t been clear to Chloe what Beca was doing, but as Chloe’s clit started to rub up against the sheets in time with Beca’s movements, it became very clear.  And very enjoyable. Beca’s warm, wet pussy on her ass, hers pressed into the mattress, pressure from above helping her get herself off. 

 

She felt Beca’s hard nipples skate across her back and bowed her own, pushing herself up to meet her.  Beca snaked an arm around Chloe’s ribs, her hand sliding up to massage a breast as she rutted against her, faster and more forcefully.  Her other hand followed suit, pulling Chloe's back against her front, palming her breasts, Chloe's nipples rising to meet Beca's hands.

 

Chloe craned her neck in search of Beca's mouth, reaching an arm around the back of her head to hold Beca where she needed her, as still as possible, without slowing the motion of their bodies.

 

Amid the movement, sometimes their lips found one another. Sometimes they missed, missed spectacularly, landing on cheeks, jawbones and an occasional tongue licking into an ear, sucking on a fleshy lobe.  But, in the heated frenzy of it all, it didn't matter. With every thrust against her, Chloe could feel Beca's arousal coating her skin. She longed to taste it, but Beca dragging her swollen clit across her skin distracted her.  That is until a particularly hard rock of Beca's hips reminded her how close she was to coming.

 

She moaned and Beca must have sensed that her orgasm was building. 

 

With the pressure in Beca's belly, the twist she felt there, she knew she couldn't hold out much longer.  She scooped an arm under Chloe's and gripped her shoulder as she rode her. “I'm going to come, Chloe,” Beca grunted out.

 

Chloe could feel Beca's orgasm, her hot swollen pussy pulsing on bare back as she stroked herself though it, but Chloe's own approaching release distracted her.

 

One last aftershock made forced a hard thrust against Chloe's backside, which was all the convincing Chloe needed to come against her mattress. The position was familiar to her.  Chloe had masturbated like this before, but having someone else -- having Beca -- bring her to orgasm was a completely new experience, one she desperately wanted to repeat again and again, sooner rather than later.  As soon as she could recover. 

 

As Chloe came, her arms gave out, her chest falling into the pillow beneath her with Beca following close behind, coming to rest on Chloe’s back.  They lay like that, skin to skin, front to back, for a long time, each drifting in and out of shallow slumber, still keenly aware of their proximity to each other, Chloe able to feel Beca’s soft breaths on her shoulder, until Chloe grew increasingly eager, achingly needy for Beca again.  

 

She twisted the top half of her body under Beca, who picked up her head at the Chloe’s stirring.  “Am I getting too heavy?” Beca asked with heavily lidded eyes. 

 

Chloe craned her neck to kiss Beca softly before shaking her head “no.” 

 

Beca pushed herself back and off Chloe to allow her to turn fully, before settling at her side. “Everything good?” 

 

“Yeah, it’s good, I just --” Chloe stopped herself. 

 

“What?”  Beca’s gaze was steady.  Calming. Trusting. “What is it?”  She peeled a wisp of hair from Chloe’s slick forehead.

 

“I want...” Chloe’s eyes flitted away from Beca, her gaze stopping on nothing specific across the room.  

 

Beca cupped Chloe’s chin, gently turning her head back so they were face to face again, and kissed her lips. “Tell me,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  

 

Chloe drew down the bridge of Beca’s nose with her finger. “I, um...I was just thinking about something. Something I want to…maybe...try,” Chloe said, her voice cracking with uneasiness. 

 

Beca’s lips curled into a smile.  Chloe was so cute when she was nervous.  “I’m waiting,” she said teasing. 

 

When Chloe bit her lip, Beca softened. “It’s OK, Chloe.  Whatever it is,” she caressed her face with the back of a finger before dropping her hand.  “Well, not whatever...I mean --” 

 

Chloe cut Beca off, kissing her and mumbling against her lips.  “I’ve been thinking about my...my pussy on -- “

 

Before she knew it, Chloe was on her back. “Yours,” she finished as her head hit the pillow.   She wasted no time parting her legs for Beca, who sat between them, lifting herself only enough for Chloe to spread her lips, holding herself open.  Beca did the same bringing herself down slowly.

 

The moment their clits connected Chloe gasped.  It was the third movement of a symphony. An operatic aria. A shredding guitar solo.

 

And then, Beca began to move on Chloe, her hips working over time.  They slid against each other, neither able to deny just how wet they were for one another.   

 

As she ground down, Beca could feel Chloe’s pussy swell beneath her, which only intensified her thrusts.  She could feel it throb, could feel the heat radiating from her. But then she looked up, straight into Chloe’s blue eyes, and the only thing she felt was the way her heart beat in her chest for the woman before her. 

 

It took a moan from Chloe for Beca to realize how close they both were to a release, and Beca wanted nothing more than to come with Chloe.  She closed her eyes and imagined, as she often did, Chloe coming on her, with their pussies pressed closed together. When she let her mind wander further, she fantasized about something else...

 

“So fucking hot,” Chloe breathed out, as if she could read Beca’s mind, but it was obvious she was too caught up in the way their legs were tangled together and their slick thighs brushed together. 

 

“You know what would be hotter?”  Beca challenged back, her lips falling to Chloe’s ear.  “Your pussy in my mouth. She felt the rise of Chloe’s chest on hers as she inhaled sharply at the suggestion.  “Letting me taste you.” 

 

Their moves were so well choreographed.  It was as if they’d rehearsed this 1,000 times before now, Beca falling to her back, Chloe, a hand on the headboard to balance herself as she swung a leg over Beca’s chest, hovering there as if to tease.

 

That’s when Beca reached around to Chloe’s ass, squeezing and urging her forward until her pussy wet Beca’s chin.  With one more slight nudge, Chloe was over Beca’s mouth, watching as Beca’s tongue darted out to swipe her clit. 

 

Her hips bucked at the contact, begging for more.  She let Beca’s hands guide her down, sighing as she was surrounded by warmth and then jerking back when she felt Beca press the flat of her tongue against her clit. 

 

It didn’t take long before Chloe rolled her body into the sensation again and again, each time with more vigor and need, pushing back against Beca’s mouth, chasing more contact with any part of her.

 

Beca met her need, wrapping her lips around the base of Chloe’s clit and drawing them up, once and again, harder and more forcefully each time until Chloe was writhing and begging for a release.  “Oh. Beca,” she uttered out in near wonderment, never thinking she could feel this good and wanting to feel even better.

 

She couldn’t control the way her eyes rolled back at a particularly long, drawn out suck that made her so sensitive, she wasn’t even sure if she  _ could  _ come.  But she let Beca continue because it felt too damn good.  All of it. Beca’s mouth on her clit, the way she was sucking her off, her hands on Chloe’s body, how she held her.  

 

Beca healed Chloe a little more, every time she made love to her.  If every lick was repentance and every touch was forgiveness, Beca’s tongue in her slit, fucking her hard, was communion for her soul. 

 

Chloe felt boneless, collapsing her head against her arms that were crossed on the headboard. “Jesus Christ, Beca,” she panted.  “What the fuck...are you doing to me?” 

 

The string of curses that left Chloe’s lips would have made Beca chuckle if her mouth (and brain) weren't otherwise occupied, focused on making the woman on top of her come hard.

 

Beca's tongue swirled back around Chloe's clit, which was so sensitive she couldn't help but flinch, pulling away slightly, but Beca held her firmly in place as she gently raked her teeth over Chloe again, sucking on her.

 

She never wanted to stop.  Chloe tasted so damn good.

 

She never wanted to stop.  Beca felt so damn good. 

 

The things she was doing with her mouth were driving Chloe crazy, but it was the final, swipe of her tongue, the one that pushed firm, wet muscle, against firm, dripping wet flesh, that put her over the edge.

 

She lost control of her hips, bucking almost uncontrollably against Beca's face, and Beca eagerly encouraged her thrusts, relentlessly teasing, licking, massaging her pussy.

 

Chloe was...she was absolutely certain she'd never felt this way before.  The level of pleasure coursing through her body was almost unbearable. She didn't know what to do with the feelings she felt in that moment, the feelings she felt for Beca.

 

So, she did the only thing she could do.  She came. Came hard in Beca's mouth, feeling Beca's tongue flutter through her sensitive folds, stroking her down.

 

When she caught her breath, “That was…”

 

But, instead of continuing, because there really no words to describe how she felt, Chloe just surged forward and kissed Beca soundly, relishing the taste of herself on Beca’s lips for the first, but definitely not the last, time. 

 

XxxX

 

The sun was already high in the sky on a bright Sunday, but Chloe made no move to free herself from where Beca was spooned behind her.  She'd done all her worshipping last night.

 

As Chloe gained consciousness, she recognized the light touches of Beca's lips dotting her back and her shoulder.

 

“What are you doing?”  asked a groggy Chloe.

 

“I'm making it my mission to kiss every one of your freckles,” Beca said, matter-of-factly.

 

She could see the smile that pulled at Chloe's cheeks when she spoke, “We're gonna be be here a long time then.”

 

“That's the idea,” Beca said, before continuing to place kisses across the expanse of Chloe's beautiful back.”

 

\--END--

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimers: 
> 
> 1) Any similarities to events or any person living or dead is purely coincidental and completely unintentional.
> 
> 2) This is not at all meant to be a criticism of any religion or anyone's personal religious beliefs.


End file.
